


Content Not To See

by Chewie4370



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Circus, F/F, Forests, Vampire Talent
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-11-11
Updated: 2016-01-26
Packaged: 2017-11-18 09:39:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 69,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/559564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chewie4370/pseuds/Chewie4370
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alice learns how it feels to love, to lose, and the need to fight to get it all back.<br/>Will she have the strength to get through to her mate?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Sight

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: All characters are the property of Stephanie Meyers. No infringement intended. I own the plot only.

She loved the escape; the solitude. It was during those times when she was the other half of herself. Everyone knew and saw the overly hyper pixie that could see all and shopped much. Few, very few, as in only her immediate family saw the quieter side of Alice. There were times when she tried everything in her control to avoid her visions, when she needed to escape and for a little while be a “normal” vampire.

Alice loved her visions; they saved her life. If it wasn’t for her glimpses into the future, when she awoke half a century ago in a cold, mud and water filled ditch not knowing her name, where she was or what she was, she wouldn’t have ever seen her life with the Cullens. It was that very first vision that saved her, told her briefly what she was and how to survive. Her visions saved her family as well. Had it not been for her premonitions they would have never been prepared for nomads that came to threaten their way of life. Her gift was valued and appreciated by her and her family. Yet on that day, she had to escape.

The house was full. Carlisle was off from the hospital for the day. Esme had just completed the home she was restoring. All of her siblings: Edward, Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie were there lounging around. Edward and Jasper had parked themselves lovingly in the piano room; Edward played his grand piano as he listened and laughed at the love of his life, Jasper, criticize the inaccuracy of his latest Civil War book. Emmett and Rosalie lounged in each other’s arms across the sofa, discussing a need to escape together soon. Apparently it had been too many years since they had a honeymoon. Esme dug away in her garden as Carlisle watched her in admiration, hardly able to focus on the latest Medical Examiner book in his arms. Alice was more than okay with being alone as she sat in her room preparing for her own day. She was happy that her family was happy. That was more than enough for her most days.

Her family loved her, and not just because of her insight into the future. Alice was the third “child” to join the Olympic Coven. After a decade of roaming in the shadows, only stealing for clothes, and immediately beginning her diet of animal blood only (thanks to her visions of how the Cullens lived), Alice had finally found her family in Ithaca, New York. Then it was only Carlisle, his wife, Esme; Edward, the first human Carlisle had changed; and Rosalie. Maybe it was her bright caramel eyes, or the scared person behind them, but Carlisle didn’t hesitate to escort Alice into the door, Esme provided her with clothes, Rosalie claimed her as sister and best friend, and Edward reassured her thoughts that she was safe with them. Years together and Emmett was added to the group, after being saved by Rosalie. More years later, a defected soldier of the Southern Vampire Wars, named Jasper, ran into a hunting Edward in the forest of Pennsylvania, and they hadn’t left each other’s side since. There was a lot of love in the Cullen Manor, husband and wife, siblings, mates. Alice loved to watch it all but as she walked through the house she was bombarded with futures, not even her own.

The day was dim, and perfect. No sun threatened to break through the gray clouds that hung over the city and even better no rain threaten to fall. Alice tossed on her favorite pink and purple custom designed Converse tennis shoes that matched her pink and purple Valor jogging suit. As she twirled around her room she picked up all the things she needed for her day of meditation: her leather bound notebook and calligraphy pen set Edward had bought her last Christmas, and her PX 300 Flash Camera, tucked safely away inside its carry bag with extra memory card and neck strap. She was ready for a day of mental silence, pictures, and writing. She pranced down the stairs, her messenger bag tossed over her shoulder and bouncing on her hip as she made her way.

“Jasper, love, you threaten to contact the publisher of every war memorial book for inaccuracies and lies. Love, you are going to have to let it go some day,” Edward said as he walked back into the living room.

“Never,” Jasper huffed at the idea. “Not until history is accurately and fairly depicted. This book makes it sounds like the south was a bunch of red neck hillbillies shooting at anything that moved. It’s embarrassing.”

Alice snickered at the siblings walking past her. She had purposely bought the book for her “oldest” brother because of the blatant prejudice for Civil War time southerners.

“Alice you did this to me on purpose?” Edward said catching Alice’s thoughts. “I thought you loved me,” Edward faked pain and disappointment, which only made Alice laugh harder.

“I’m sorry Edward. I just love to hear Jasper go on and on about this stuff. It is funny as hell.” Alice skipped passed the two men pulling them both into a hug as she continued through the house.

“See you guys later,” Alice announced as she headed towards the patio door.

“Where are you off to, Alice?” Esme asked as Alice skipped passed the garden, only acknowledging Carlisle and Esme with a kiss to their cheeks.

“Just me, myself, and I time. Trying to escape the many futures before me.”

“Good luck with that,” Carlisle said under his grin. “Please be safe, you know I worry about you out in the woods alone.”

“Dad,” Alice sang. She liked teasing the head of their family whenever he went all “father” on her and the rest of the “kids.”

“I know, I know. You are capable of taking care of yourself, but a father is still allowed to worry.” Carlisle stood from his seat pulling the woman half his height into his arms. “Just to put an old man out of his misery, promise me you will be safe and return soon? I know you need time away to clear your head, but I just hate to see you alone always.”

“I promise, Dad. I will be careful: Look both ways before crossing the street and no talking to strangers.” Carlisle looked down at Alice smirking at her comment. “See you soon.” Alice stood on her tippy toes pecking Carlisle on the cheek.

Carlisle’s double meaning did not escape Alice as she bounced away, looking back once to see her mother and father in each other’s arms looking at her retreat from their home. Alice knew everyone wanted to see her with someone, but it wasn’t a concern of Alice. She liked being alone at times, needing the mental space and being mated wouldn’t have made that as possible.

“Don’t be ridiculous Al,” Rosalie said to her one afternoon as they walked through the mall. “I escape from Emmett all the time. We all need our own corner, even the big oaf himself. You shouldn’t let that keep you running from love.”

“I am not running, Rose. When the time come me and that special person will meet. You weren’t out hopelessly searching for Emmett, and Edward literally ran Jasper in the middle of nowhere. I am sure it will happen one day. It is not like we are around our kind a lot. Besides I am fine being the spoiled baby sister!”

In a single bound Alice had cleared the Cullen’s yard and was in the thick surrounding forest creating the wall that secluded the home. The journey, one she took often enough, was supposed to clear her mind of the futures of her family. Alice’s visions were sometime brought on by anything and began to clutter her mind with things important, or not so important. She really didn’t need to know that Rosalie planned on buying the new low fuel carburetor for all the cars, or that Edward would be re-varnishing his piano, but that was the drawback of her vampire talent. She didn’t just see the important things, like attacks or when it was best for them to travel, but also the minute day to day decisions of those she was close to. It began to wear her thin and it was then that these escapes became important. It wasn’t that she wanted to be away from her family but she wanted to be away from her own mind, her own talent. Since detaching her brain was not an option, she had to go with the next best thing.

Alice didn’t have a destination in mind, she never did, and that was kind of the point. She didn’t have the comfort of her visions to guide her, as she hadn’t made a decision soon enough to prompt her third eye. She wasn’t in a hurry, not even picking up speed past a humanly brisk walk. In fact, if she had stumbled upon any humans they wouldn’t think twice about looking her way. But Alice wasn’t on any trail and the forest was thick. If it wasn’t for her vampire agility she wouldn’t be able to traverse the area at all. She danced around thick uprooting trees and swung like a trapeze act through the overhanging branches. She felt truly free as the breeze propelled her from branch to branch and her hair fell into her face as she hung upside down just because she could.

It was working, only an hour since leaving home she hadn’t had a single vision and already her mind seemed a little clearer and was a little more at peace. Alice continued her journey through the forests, always moving but never deciding, free of any insight.

So with much time and many miles away from all civilization, Alice found a small patch of ground that wasn’t growing crazy with fines and roots. She pulled off her bag and took a seat directly on the hard, cold floor of the forest. Looking up from her spot she could hardly see the clouds through the thick foliage of the dark heavy trees. Alice could hear the forest animals in the distance and the birds fluttering in the air, they were without question retreating from the predator in their midst. Alice only laughed at the scene; she wanted to be alone and even the animals respected her wishes. She extracted her notebook and pen and began journaling her inner thoughts.

_May 6, 20—_

_I had to run today, so many thoughts and so many visions. The family understood. I think they saw my tennis shoes on and knew that it was time for my journey of solitude again. Carlisle went all “Dad mode” on me as always, but I love him for that. It seems crazy for him to be concerned with my safety. After all, I did roam completely alone for ten years before I was welcomed into the Cullen family, but I know it is because he loves me so dearly, just as much as I love him and it doesn’t matter how many decades I stay he will always worry about his “daughter.” This family completes me, even if visions of their personal decisions cloud my head. I know it is not their fault, nor is it mine. It is just the life I live and I accept it and all of its responsibility._

_The family has asked me not to bring every single vision to their attention unless they are important but I have to tell someone:_

_Okay so first off Edward is going to propose to Jasper again! Can you believe it? He has this romantic date planned involving a horse and carriage. How he plans on getting the animals to cooperate with them near I have no idea, but it actually works. Jasper is going to be so ecstatic and surprised that he will almost cry. You think he is going to say yes?_

_Then there is Carlisle – he is actually going to buy another house to prepare for our next move. It is in some small town called Forks, Washington. The house is a complete wreck so Esme will be quite busy and she will be as happy as ever. It is apparent now that Carlisle looks for these little gems in the rough just so that he can see Esme smiling, hard at work._

_And who can forget about Emmett. I am a little worried about my sudden sight of seeing Emmett signing up for some NFL all draft call. I saw it so he had to have made a decision to do something crazy. I am sure if I should tell Rose or just let it play out and see the antics for myself. Next time I write I am sure I will be telling you about how Rosalie tried to kill him or something._

_Ooh my family can be a hoot, from day to day and clear into their future. Sometimes I like not telling them my visions, cause then I can laugh harder when they play out; when I know good and well that they won’t end under the best circumstances. Then they look at me and ask why I didn’t warn them. I just shrug my shoulders and say, “You asked me not to,” in my most innocent voice._

Just then, Alice was taken by a glimpse of something she wasn’t sure she could call a vision. As she sat Indian style on the forest floor, her mind and sense screamed at her to be on alert. The premonition was too quick. Looking down at her notebook she didn’t see the words she wrote but instead saw a face pass before her mind’s eye. She saw a woman, standing before her, in the very woods where she was sitting, but the scene was so fast she could see no more. A tenth of a second was all that it was. Though she was on high alert she wasn’t ready to leave her trip and returned to the house. She packed her notebook away and began walking deeper into the forest, camera in hand. Carlisle words rung in her head to be careful.

She searched both for picture perfect images as well as any intruders threatening her or interrupting her day. As she walked away from her previous seat the nerves in her body began to calm. Still staying always aware of her surroundings, Alice began to focus more on the art of scenic photography. Alice loved to catch things in moments of stillness or transformation. Her room was riddled with photographs she had taken over the years. Her favorite picture was the one she had given to Rose many years ago.

The family had been in their Oregon home and spring had just sprung. It, too, was a day of solitude for Alice. She had stumbled upon an almost hidden garden in the forest that surrounded the house. While everything else was still either dark green from the obsessive rain or brown from growth, there sat a bush beginning to bloom with crimson red Rose buds. The shrub was completely out of place as if someone had taken the time to plant it in the odd deep forest spot. How the outstretching vines and roots not entrenched on it, choking the life out of the delicate flower was just as much of a mystery as the presence of the bush. The camera Alice had then was nowhere near as high-end as her now PX 300 Flash, but the image that was before her could have been taken with a disposable camera and still been beautiful. She was in such awe of her discovery she hadn’t noticed she still hadn’t taken the picture, but just then she saw the movement of the buds. Alice witnessed the complete transformation of the rose bud from tightly closed, protecting itself, to fully open and exposed to the elements. Alice had managed to take three exquisite shots of nature’s work in three stages of closed, trying, and open. Placing them in a custom all back flat panels frame and enlarged to eleven by seventeen prints, Alice presented the gift to her sister. A Rose for a Rose. Alice had hoped that Rosalie saw the compliment that was inside the symbolism of the gift. As Rosalie took the large piece of art from her sister, her eyes began to swell, desperately trying to release a tear.

Alice always made at least one breath taking discovery on every trip. As she continued her journey deeper into the thickening foliage she almost missed the beauty. Having kneeled down to admire an array of flowers, Alice’s eye was caught by a geometric shape in the middle of nature. She stepped to the awkward vine that hung before her trying to figure out how the vine was suspended in the air. Alice softly ran her hand from where the vine was obviously connected to the tree to her right, across the vine that ran up five feet off the ground, briefly dipped down, back up, and down again, finally ending at a second tree on Alice’s left. The two large trees almost seemed to be sharing the life line. As Alice stepped back looking at the natural movement of the art, she smiled seeing the vines curvature formed a heart; a heart shared by two living things. Alice could barely contain her excitement at the discovery. Readying her camera, she stood further off from the scene to be sure to capture the two lovers that shared the heart. Just as the camera snapped under the hold of Alice’s fingers, she saw the woman again, this time clearer.

It was a woman, much similar to Alice in height and petite. Her hair was deep brown and fell in extremely long waves down her back. The dress she wore was off white, short yet flowing, covering thick white tights. Her glimpse wasn’t of events but only a scene of the woman, standing before Alice, looking intently into Alice’s eyes. She was a vampire, her pale skinned proved that, yet she wore make up, making her cheeks look as if they were tinged with a red blush. What Alice could not understand was the beautiful woman’s eyes. They bore no similarity to any vampire Alice had ever seen. The orbs were not deep red of the human blood she drained nor where they hazel of the animal she had sacrifice and they were not black from anger or lust. Somehow they were blue, unnaturally icy blue, and beautiful. More so than the look of the oceans as waves churned around rocks. The sky would have been envious of their clear deep hints of azure and something more.

Taken off guard by the sudden woman flashing in her mind, Alice dropped the camera but thank fully it hung around her neck. No longer did she want to chance the encounter of who may have been with her in the deep forest. Alice quickly packed away her camera and flung her messenger bag over her shoulder and was off. As she ran and leapt over the rising roots, Alice could sense that the vision she just saw was soon to play out. Everything felt as it did in the premonition. She could sense she already was being followed. As she looked around, her eyes caught on the flash of something swinging above her head. Unsure of what to do as she faced the unknown, Alice could only plant her feet and wait for the scene to run its course.

“Please, I mean you no harm,” a faint voice said over her head.

“Show yourself,” Alice called back as she crouched down, circling the area. She knew the sound was above her and she didn’t want to chance being taken by surprise.

“Please, I don’t want to fight you. I only wish to meet you,” the low voice called out again. It sounded lost, sad, and lonely. Her voice was almost a whisper of the soprano sounds it carried.

“Okay. Show yourself,” Alice only relaxed her stand a little, still not trusting what she could not see. “Show yourself. Please.”

Silence, even more so than before.

“Okay.”

Floating down to the ground as a feather caught in the breeze, she made no sound as she landed. She was graceful, landing on the toes of one foot. All vampires were fast and agile but this girl who looked too young to be a part of the vampire world, was even more so nimble, as if this was her special gift. The young lady, looking too young to be called a woman, was before Alice. Completely taken back by her beauty, Alice gasped. The girl stepped back at the sound of Alice, ready to retreat. She was not a fighter, though she would if she must.

She had seen Alice when she first stepped into the forest and she just wanted to meet her. She hadn’t seen any of her kind in over a year, and even then she did not approach as their deep red eyes warned her they were just as her creator was: vicious, dangerous, creatures only out for themselves. She did not approach them and made sure her scent would not lead them to her, or the humans she was traveling with. She rather be alone than face another one of those kinds. Yet when she saw Alice she knew something was different. This person she saw walking in the deep of the forest smelt like a vampire, moved as a vampire, flipping and leaping over terrain that even a coordinated human would have difficulty with. The girl noticed how Alice skin shone just slightly when she stepped into a spot where the sun was able to break through the heavy clouds and the full trees. She was definitely a vampire, yet she wasn’t scary. No, this vampire who looked and had mannerism of a human had eyes like none she had ever seen before. They were topaz but seemed to glow too brightly to be natural human color. Even from her perch high above the topaz beauty she could see they were deeper than any human eyes. She had never seen a vampire sit and write, laughing to themselves. She had never seen any vampire take pictures. What kind of a creature was this? She had to know. She had to meet this beautiful person.

Seeing the woman was close to retreating saddened Alice and she had to do something to keep the girl there with her. Though she did not know her, for whatever reason Alice was not worried about her, yet Alice could not let her guard down. The girl could have been a part of a coven that was waiting to attack.

“Wait! Please don’t go. I am just shocked to see . . . you.” Alice could not pull herself away from blue eyes looking back at her. Looking deeper, the mysterious woman eyes were more than the cold blue but also gold around its edges. What did her eyes mean? Who was she?

“Are you alone?” Alice asked.

The girl was so frighten both by her excitement to see someone like her and the unknown of who and what this beautiful woman could be.

“Yes. I am here alone.”

Alice did not like the way the girl said the words, implying that she may have been in the woods alone, but there were others close by.

“Where are the others? Where is your coven?” Alice intrigue with the woman was beginning to change to suspension. Her voice was laced with the evident of it.

The blue eyed girl could hear that she was running out of time and this woman who stood before her was not going to tolerate circular talk and probing questions. Blue eyes decided she was going to show all her cards in hopes it would not be to her detriment.

“I don’t travel with a coven. I am a nomad, in a sense. I travel with a circus, humans,” she added hoping that fact would remove all traces of a possible threat from the girl, “that is in the area for a few weeks. I was out here hunting when I saw you. I am sorry to disrupt you, or frighten you. I just had not seen our kind in so long and you seem very . . . different from others I have known.”

The girl only looked into Alice’s face once and quickly put her head back down. Still her voice was just barely above a whisper. Alice could hear the excitement in the girl’s voice still. Alice did not speak as she thought of what she should do. She knew she was too far away from the house for Edward to hear her thoughts so she was, in a sense, alone. If anything happened, if she was being tricked or outnumbered, she may lose, and her family would never know of what happened to her. Alice wouldn’t go down without a fight though, Jasper had trained her well. She knew how to assess who to attack first and when to run. She may fall but someone was going to fall with her. Despite all those facts she wanted to stay and she wanted to hear more. She only knew of two covens that regularly affiliated themselves with humans: her own family and their Alaskan cousins. It was unheard of for nomads to be so close to humans. Nomads only came into contact with humans when it was time to feed. Alice curious nature won out over her self-preservation.

Alice took a step closer to the blue eyed girl, fully relaxing her stance. Seeing Alice erect her stand, seeming to relax, encouraged the girl to look up into Alice’s face. She tried for a smile but doubt she was successful.

“You said you were hunting. Hunting what?” Alice asked. She tried to meet the young vampire’s eyes but the girl kept her head down. Alice stepped closer.

“I . . . I . . . I was hunting rabbits and squirrels. I don’t drain humans . . . only animals.” Blue eyes was scared. Her own creator ridiculed her for not wanting to hunt humans. From the moment blue eyes awoke from the flames her sire tought her to hunt the way vampires should but after so long Blue Eyes could no longer bare it.

“Really? But your eyes are not like mine.” Alice said before she realized.

Blue eyes gave her a questioning look. For the first time she looked into Alice’s face for longer than a mere second. She knew Alice’s eyes were not like hers, nor any other vampire, but she did not know what Alice was referring to.

“I, along with my family, feed off animals as well. It is why my eyes are not red, but golden. There are a few others whose diet is the same and their eyes are like mine as well. Yours are not. I have never seen a vampire with almost normal eyes before.” Alice had walked closer to the girl, almost at a normal distance in which you would stand when holding a conversation with someone.

The mysterious girl noticed their proximity and smiled. She hadn’t been so close to another in so long, she liked the familiarity of it, its normalcy. It was something she desired.

“My creator thought it was because I was blind before I was changed. They were blue as a human as well, she told me. My eyes do have some of your color after I feed,” she said before Alice cut her off.

“Yes, around the edges. I can see it. They are beautiful; so unique.” Alice had reached her hand up to touch the girls face. She didn’t know what she was doing but she wanted to be closer, as if to examine it to see if the girl was real.

The girl dropped her head again; stepping away from Alice’s outreached hand.

“No. No they’re not,” the girl whispered. She was an outcast, a freak now just as she was when she was still human. Her eyes carried another secret that she didn’t want to share. She knew if she told this breathtaking girl who stumbled into her mist what else her eyes did than the topaz angel would run, never to return. She knew the girl would have to leave soon, as so would she, but she wanted to keep her there as long as possible.

Alice dropped her hand at the movement of the young girl. She realized she was being to forward and didn’t know what had gotten into her.

“My name is Alice. What is yours?” Alice sat down on the tree root that had protruded through the ground, hoping the action would relax her visitor.

“Isabella,” she whispered. She leaned against the tree opposite Alice. She still did not look directly into Alice’s eyes but she would glance her way every so often, hoping to get a glimpse of her when Alice was not looking. Unfortunately, Alice’s eyes never left the girl, so she always saw Isabella’s glances.

“You don’t have to be afraid. I won’t hurt you.”

“Are you alone as well? A nomad?”

“Oh, no. Just out looking for solitude.”

“Oh, I am sorry, I will go.” Isabella moved to sprint away.

“No! Don’t go, you are fine,” Alice jumped up only to sit back down when she saw Isabella had returned to her perch on the tree. “I am a part of a rather large coven, seven of us altogether, and sometimes it gets a little crowded.” Alice knew better than to share her gift with the stranger. Isabella intrigued her but she didn’t know how much to trust her yet.

“When I want to get away, I like to run in the forest; write, take pictures.” Alice patted her bag still hanging over her shoulder.

“Writing.” Isabella loved to write, especially when her gift, her eyes, began to be too much to bear, but she couldn’t share that with Alice.

“You travel with the circus. Is it the ones with fliers are all over the city?”

“Yes, for now. This is our last city before they take a break. I will be leaving them then, to be on my own.”

“Why?” Alice had her suspicions why but wanted to hear the girl explain it to her. The more Isabella talked the better Alice could assess if she was who she said she was. Maybe even determine why her visions of her were so brief and intense.

Isabella didn’t know how much she wanted to share. She knew she had to keep her secret. There was no reason to put herself into danger, but she wanted to keep talking to Alice. She would be leaving soon and she didn’t know when she would run into another one of her kind, and when she did if they would be safe.

“I have been with this group for over two years, almost three. It is the longest I have ever stayed with one group. I always leave after two years to keep questions down. Then I travel on my own for a few years than find another circus to take up with.”

“Why have you stayed so long this time?”

“I am . . . tired of being alone,” Isabella couldn’t look at Alice after that.

She didn’t want Alice to feel sorry for her but it was the truth. Everyday longer she stayed with the Marchino Traveling Circus she kicked her self. She was growing too close to them and she needed to slip away before the questions that were already rising got too serious.

Alice noticed the melancholy of the girl’s words. She had felt the same way when she was on her own, searching out the Cullen family. That was so long ago but the heavy feeling of loneliness was one you never forget, even without vampire memory.

“My family moves often as well. We generally stay in one area for about five years, depending on how populated it is. We will be leaving New York soon as well.”

“Family?” Isabella had noticed Alice never referring to her group as a coven. It was odd. She had met groups of vampires before, mostly when she was still with her creator but they were never more than three. The word coven carried a meaning of a close knit union, and these groups certainly were not that.

“Yes, I know, coven is the word that for our grouping but we are closer than that. We are as close as brothers and sisters, parents and children. They are probably worried about me now. I have been gone for quite a while.”

During their time together the shadows of the forest had grown even darker as the subtle sun was now completely set. Carlisle would be sending out the troops if she did not return home soon.

“Oh dear, it is getting along isn’t it? I better go as well; our show will soon be starting for the night.” Isabella turned to leave but something was still holding her there. “Goodbye, Alice, and thank you.”

“Wait, can I see you again? How often do you come out here to hunt?” Alice still didn’t have a full assessment of Isabella but she was still intrigued. She wanted to talk with her again.

“I come every two or three days. I would love to speak with you again.” Something in Isabella felt brighter.

“Great. I’ll see you in three days then.” Alice backed away from Isabella as she began to sprint in the opposite direction.

The run back to the house was slow compared to what Alice could have ran, but she had more on her mind than she did when she left the house that morning. What was it about Isabella that intrigued Alice so much? What did it mean that she desperately wanted to touch her and keep her talking? What would they talk about next time? Why hadn’t Alice had a vision the entire time they were together?

Isabella’s run back to the circus camp was just as slow and filled with questions. She had felt lighter than she had in years. Something to look forward to, being back in Alice’s presence. She was thankful. When she did finally leave her circus family and travel the world alone she would have the memory of Alice to make her smile, remind her that the world she was thrown in may not be all bad. That night as she preformed she didn’t see crowds of people but golden eyes staring back at her at the other end of the tight rope.

Just as Alice leapt back into the backyard of Cullen Manor, she saw her parents and siblings preparing to go into the woods.

“Wait, she’s back,” she heard Edward say to the family obviously catching her mental notes. Six vampires were before her in a flash of any eye with Carlisle and Esme in the front.

“Oh dear, we were getting so worried, Alice,” Esme squeezed her so hard she actually felt it.

“I am fine, Mom, really. Time just got away from me.” She released Esme and began walking to the house with the rest of her family.

She was hiding her thoughts from Edward with the recollection of the photographs she had been taken. She knew everyone would unnecessarily panic if they knew she had spent a better part of the evening with a mysterious woman with odd eyes. Alice wasn’t ready to share that information and knew that it could hinder her from seeing Isabella again in a few days. No, she had to keep that information to herself for now. Though she tried she was unsuccessful in covering her anxious and nervous mood. She saw Jasper look her direction but was thankful he didn’t say anything aloud. Alice noticed the look Jasper shared with Edward and knew he was sharing the information with him.

Once she was home and everyone went back to their own things, Alice quickly showered, redressed and headed to her computer. She had to do something to take her mind of Isabella before Edward noticed just as much as Jasper had. She loaded her memory card into the computer and instantly was looking at the day’s works. Alice went about tagging each picture appropriately with a name and the date it was taken and then filing them into the various folders she had created for all her photos. When the last picture loaded on the screen, Alice was taken aback by what she saw. Her prize shot of the day, the shared heart between two trees revealed an image that Alice did not see at the time. But how was that possible that she missed it?

Clicking on the center of the picture to enlarge it, Alice tried to make sure she was not seeing things. There in the center of the picture, inside the heart, yet obviously some ways far off, sat Isabella. Her knees were bent and brought up to her chest. Her head rested against her right hand as the arm was leaning on her knee. Her flowing white dressed was loosely falling around her making her look even smaller. But what captured Alice more than anything was the beautiful face that looked right back at her. Isabella’s was facing the camera, her icy blue eyes alive, bright and staring right into Alice.


	2. First Taste

The days seemed to drag on but Isabella was sure that was due to her overexcitement to see Alice again. Time meant nothing to a vampire, but the seventy-two hours until she could be back into Alice’s presence meant everything. Isabella paced the narrow hallway of her trailer she shared with the human she could regard as a best friend. Isabella didn’t understand the need she had to be near Alice. She only felt this strong about one other person, the woman who changed her; though Isabella hoped that she and Alice wouldn’t part the same way in the end. She didn’t think she could handle being rejected again. 

Alice had consumed every though of Isabella’s mind since she ran from Alice to return to the circus. She didn’t sleep so she could not dream of Alice, but as she lay in her bed pretending for the sake of the humans she was surrounded by, she recalled the crisp image of Alice perched casually on the roots around her. She thought back on her view of Alice from high in the trees as she watched the caramel eyed mystery unknowing. Isabella could even remember Alice’s sweet scent that completely surrounded them in the small space that they stood; her keen sense of smell so easily distinguishing Alice’s aroma from the forest. Alice seemed almost unreal to Isabella, so peaceful and beautiful. 

Something unknown called out to her to go to Alice. When she had to leave her it was that same unknown that picked at her to return, despite her mind telling her to run.

Isabella had learned long ago to avoid vampires, they never meant her any good and the more she could avoid them the better. When she did happen upon one she never acknowledged them, letting them go on their way. Her almost normal eyes would slow any advances they may have made to approach her. Having the scent of a like a vampire, but looking like a human, had its advantages. It confused others and she was thankful for her skill only at that time. 

Her “talent” was the real reason she feared getting too close to Alice, or anybody else for that reason. She didn’t know any other vampires with special abilities and her sire had told her that there were no others. She made it her mission to show Isabella she was a freak; she was weird as a human and only got weirder once she was changed. Isabella didn’t understand the reason for her gift and more times than not it only clouded her mind. 

Isabella, with her unusual icy blue eyes could see the past, your past, even that which was tried to be hidden with lies or things others didn’t know. She saw it all, the truth of it. Gift was such an erroneous word for it, curse was more befitting to Isabella. She was constantly bombarded with images of someone’s childhood or days of old anytime the thought of their past flittered through their mind. All it took was one reflection back on a decision made and Isabella would see it all, what prompted the action and how it played out. It made living with the humans difficult, with their constant reflection on things they could not change now, but Isabella couldn’t stand being alone and therefore it was a price to be paid.

What was worse than living with humans? Being with vampires. Hundreds of years of past decisions would play through her mind in seconds if they ever thought to think of them. It was just easier for Isabella to stay away. Once she left her circus, she would wonder aimlessly, try to rid her mind of the things she didn’t want to know before she dared to settle down with a group again. Other than leaving behind the Marchino’s Circus, Isabella had no plans and no concrete future. While that thought should have been depressing, to Isabella it was not. Being able to just be was almost freeing to her, especially when she wasn’t bombarded with dealing with other’s past decisions.

It did not escape Isabella’s attention that while being in Alice’s presence for so long that she was not plagued with a single image of Alice’s past. Did the beautiful girl not think of such things? Was Alice the only being in the world that did not reflect on her past? Whatever the reason was excited Isabella. She was excited to think she could consider enjoying Alice’s company without fear of exposing her gift. Isabella only had a few more weeks left in New York before she had to move on and she wanted to fill them with Alice.

“What has gotten into you?” Leah, Isabella’s roommate and best friend, asked. Leah climbed down out of her hidden bed, adjusting her shirt, and ran her hands through her short, ink black and untamed hair.

Leah was a lion tamer for the circus and the only one of two people who actually acknowledged Isabella. Sadly, Isabella was considered a freak even to the likes of circus folks where woman walked around with full beards, men swallowed glass and fire, and others were not seen without snakes wrapped around their bodies. They all knew something was off about Isabella, but no one dared to ask. The other person who befriended Isabella was Carmen, Leah’s girlfriend. Carmen was the temptress, both in the show and the real world. With her seductive eyes and a sway of her hips, she could beckon any man, or woman, to do her bidding, unknowingly. It was a power like none other Isabella had seen, and in a human nonetheless.

“Nothing, I’m fine. Why do you ask?” 

Isabella finally stopped pacing. Isabella twirled the long draw strings of her white tunic shirt that covered her denim shorts, around her finger as she avoided Leah’s eyes. Isabella could face no one; she never could. Upon awaking from her days in hell realizing she could see with her new physical eyes, she soon discovered she didn’t have the confidence to look. Her creator saw no reason to change the self-esteem of Isabella, only picking at it, making it worst. It was ironic really: Isabella was born unable to see and when she was reborn into this new world not only could she see what was in front of her but also what was behind everyone else.

Leah walked to her friend and lifted her chin to get her full attention. Leah and Carmen tried to teach Isabella some confidence and self-assurance about herself, but Isabella wasn’t the best student. They told her that with her beauty and skills on the tight rope that she could soar higher than any other in the circus biz, she just had to get the confidence to do it. Of course, Isabella couldn’t tell them that there was no way possible for that to happen, nor that she didn’t want it to happen. Isabella saw working in the circus as a means to an end, the end of her loneliness, even if only for a little while. Isabella knew that it was Carmen and Leah that made her stay with the Marchino Traveling Circus for longer than she should have. She loved them; they were the only people that she could remember that truly befriend her. Granted that they didn’t know Isabella’s many secrets, they never tried to use her either, and yet Isabella knew if they knew the truth they would run, and they very well should do just that. Isabella was a wolf in sheep’s clothing, prancing around the fields, blending in as they looked through their naked eyes, but she was more dangerous than any wolf. Those pretty eyes, camouflaged beauty and tight rope skills came at a cost: death, curse, and blood.

“You have been extremely anxious for a couple of days now. Are you sure you are okay? Are you tired? Is it all the shows? Ready for a break?” Leah was holding Isabella’s hand. Despite the cold feel, Leah never pulled away.

“Yeah, that’s it. Just ready for a vacation,” Isabella lied.

“I feel you there, sister. A vacation is long overdue.” Carmen walked into the mobile home. Her normally wild loose and long hair was pulled into a sideways ponytail resting on her shoulder.

“Hey, love,” Leah said walking to embrace Carmen. Carmen responded with a kiss to Leah lips.

Isabella looked away again, seeing the intimacy in the moment, feeling like she was intruding though she was there first. Isabella longed for something real like what Leah and Carmen had, like she seen so many humans and vampires shared. Leah and Carmen were lost in each other, forgetting Isabella was standing there. She felt more and more like the freak she was the longer she remained there.

“Well, you two have a great night. I will see you later,” Isabella said still not looking up from their old, dirty, orange carpeted floor. Isabella walked past the couple, grabbing her notebook that sat on the table.

“Oh, no, Isabella you don’t have to go. I’m sorry,” Carmen apologized, though Isabella didn’t understand why. Isabella felt she was the one out of place, not Carmen or Leah.

“No, no, no. It’s fine. I was getting ready to leave anyway. I‘ll see you guys later.” 

Isabella walked out the door, but not before she saw Carmen and Leah share a look of worry. Isabella knew they worried for her constantly. The best she could do for them was get out of their hair and in a couple of weeks they wouldn’t have to worry any more. 

As soon as Isabella broke through the trees and knew she would go unseen by the others who were about the circus grounds, she broke into a full stride. She was overly anxious to get to Alice and she would wait all night in those woods if she had to. Clinging onto her notebook she couldn’t help but wonder if Alice would bring her’s and those beautiful pens she had as well. 

Isabella loved to write, though she didn’t share that with Alice at the time. She wanted to know what hidden things were inside Alice’s notebook and if she would be willing to share them with Isabella. Maybe they were too personal. Isabella always felt her stories were meant only for her eyes but she wanted to share them with Alice. There wasn’t anything she wouldn’t share with Alice if she dared ask. She hoped that Alice would in fact ask something, anything, of her.

~xXx~

“Off for another run, Alice?” Jasper asked as she made her way to the back door. Jasper raised his eyebrow at Alice as if he knew there was something up.

Alice had successfully hid her thoughts from Edward over the last few days, but the anxiousness and desire to return to the woods could not be kept from Jasper. Alice knew Jasper didn’t know anything about Isabella or Alice’s plans to meet her again. She had lied, disguising her emotions with shopping, stating she was just ready for her new collections to arrive.

“Yup, be back later.” 

Alice grabbed her messenger bag that held her notebook and camera. She first through it over her shoulder to keep up the image that she was just going to clear her mind, but then she realized that it was an opportunity to get pictures of Isabella, something to cherish when they were away from each other. Though she knew nothing of the overly shy woman she met, she hoped that Isabella felt something for her as well, something as strong as what Alice felt. Alice dashed out of the door before Jasper could ask any more question.

When Alice was alone at night in her room, and she felt her thoughts were safe from Edward’s gift, she stared at Isabella’s picture recalling every moment of the day they met. A meeting so brief but yet it seemed to weigh heavily on Alice’s mind over the days. For the first time since she awoke alone into a brave new world, Alice was afraid. She was fearful of the conclusion she had come to and what it could possibly mean for Isabella, her, and her family. Alice knew the feelings she had for Isabella just wasn’t for friendship or intrigue of the unknown, unexpected, and new. Alice had witness the same look in the eyes of every one of her siblings and parents. She couldn’t confirm the feeling, for the first time ever wishing she had Jasper’s power, and asking questions would have raised suspicion and inquiries she didn’t want to answer yet. Alice knew for certain, as she stared hours into the picture of the icy blue eyed vampire that landed on her heart, that she had mated.

As soon as she was clear of her family, Alice slowed her run to a walk. She had to think, think about what it all meant. Did she tell Isabella? Did Isabella know or feel it, too? What happens next? Despite living in a house full of love birds, Alice didn’t know how to love anybody any extra way. Alice was positive that a mate was loved differently than from a sibling; of that she was sure. She couldn’t help but compare the love Rosalie and Edward had for her to the way they loved and cherished Emmett and Jasper .

When Alice came out of her deep thought she saw that she was in the very spot her and Isabella departed from each other. Isabella’s lilac scent saturated the small reprieve in the thick woods. It was then that Alice realized she hadn’t been following Isabella’s scent at all, something in her, whatever it was that connected to Isabella, had pulled her to that very spot. Though something was tugging on Alice, telling her that her mate was near, Isabella could not be seen anywhere. 

“Hello,” the bell voice called out. Alice looked up to find the sound.

High above the ground Alice saw Isabella perched on a branch, writing. 

“Hi. Would you like me to come up or would you prefer to come down?” Alice asked, ready to climb the highest mountain to be near the woman who had captured her.

“I don’t know. I like being up this high,” was all the words Isabella muttered before Alice was traversing the tree to meet her.

The wide branch, allowed the two ladies to sit with their back pressed against the body of the tree. They were close, almost touching. Alice had to pull together all of her will not to close the already small gap between them. Alice didn’t want to push Isabella. She couldn’t see anything about Isabella, so soft spoken and cryptic, but Alice had the feeling that Isabella was sheltered for some reason. She didn’t know what Isabella thought of her after all. Did Isabella feel the mating that took place between them? Alice feared it was all in her own head. The remaining branches were high and clear of the location Isabella had chosen for the girls; though they were still low enough that the overhead leaves hid most of the sun that tried to peek through the clouds of the early spring day. Where the few beams of golden rays did meet them, Alice couldn’t help but notice the sparkle of Isabella’s skin. It was no different than how Alice or any of her family shinned and yet on Isabella it was almost angelic, somehow more beautiful. The glow only highlighted her light eyes more, making them a cloudy gray at times. She was strikingly beautiful, Alice just wanted to stay in that moment and admire every inch of Isabella. It was as if with every blink Isabella’s beauty was sprung on Alice again.

“Alice? Are you okay?” Isabella waved her hand in front of the dazed girl’s face. Isabella had never seen a vampire speechless and staring. It was unnerving being looked upon by the unmoving creature, yet Isabella never wanted Alice to look away. 

“Alice?”

“Oh, I’m sorry. You were saying something?” Alice would have blushed if she could.

“No, I didn’t say anything.” Isabella ducked her head, twirling her hair absent mindlessly around her finger, trying to avoid Alice’s eyes that seemed to be trying to tell her something. “I was just asking if you were okay. You have been looking at me since you climbed up here and hadn’t said a word.”

“Really? I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to say.” Alice couldn’t believe she had been staring and yet she still couldn’t look away.

Though she thought maybe she should try to stop ogling, it didn’t escape her attention that Isabella was staring now as well. Alice couldn’t help but wonder what it was that Isabella saw. Isabella couldn’t figure out what it was that was stirring deep in her chest whenever she was near Alice. Finally drawing on all the energy in the atmosphere, Alice turned away from Isabella, taking unnecessary breaths, looking for anything to fill the not so awkward silence. Alice saw the spiral notebook and ordinary blue ball point pen Isabella clenched. She reached into her own bag pulling out her pad.

“May I ask what you are writing?”

“It’s a story, I guess.” Isabella tucked the plain yellow notebook closer to her body. She felt shame to have something so ordinary compared to Alice’s belongings.

“Can I read it?” Alice asked.

Isabella gave Alice a panicked look. Isabella had begun to mutter so incoherently Alice couldn’t even keep up.

“If it’s too personal, I understand.”

“It’s not that,” Isabella began. Though they were still somewhat golden in hue they were beginning to fade and Isabella wondered if that meant she was ready to feed. “It is just that no one has ever asked to look at my writing before. Not even my roommate. I never thought anyone would ever see it.”

“You have a roommate?” 

Isabella nodded her head at Alice’s question. 

“Human?” 

“Yeah,” Isabella snickered to Alice question. Leah, Isabella’s roommate, would have argued that she isn’t sure she was all human. 

Alice and Isabella sat in silence, neither one writing nor looking at the other. 

“Well, how about you read it to me? Would that be better? I love to listen to people read,” Alice said, trying to meet Isabella’s eyes.

When Isabella finally looked up from her lap she couldn’t help but first look upon Alice’s beautiful face. Isabella found that she was actually restraining herself from touching Alice, but she didn’t know why. She didn’t know why she even wanted to touch Alice to begin with. Isabella learned in that moment that looking into Alice’s eyes may have been a mistake because she saw she would not be able to refuse her anything.

“Yeah, okay,” Isabella replied. She was rewarded with a wide smile from Alice as she sat back on the large tree to get comfortable. 

Feeling both bold and utterly unable to continue to restrain from touching her, Alice slid closer to Isabella and wrapped her arm around Isabella’s arm, leaning her head onto Isabella’s shoulder. The lilac scent was so strong; Alice had to work at caging the moan that was threatening to escape her. Isabella didn’t start reading immediately. At first, Alice thought that she had offended the sensitive creature by wrapping around her, but then she felt Isabella’s face in her hair and felt her full breath against her scalp. Alice couldn’t help but smile, hoping it meant that Isabella felt and understood the fire that was bouncing between them also. Isabella didn’t know what the feeling was; only that she never wanted it to stop. 

Alice had sat quietly listening to Isabella read her story aloud. Alice enjoyed the feel of Isabella’s muscles as they flexed in her slight movements. Isabella’s voice carried all of the emotions that must have been present when she first wrote the story she called “Monstrosity.” Isabella read on and on about her main character not being like any other, alone in a different world. Alice listened as Isabella described the character’s feelings of utter loneliness, no family, no friends, and no others like her. Alice knew that to some extent, she was listening to Isabella’s story both literally and metaphorically. Beneath all of the images of a different world, Alice knew it was Isabella’s own fears written in that notebook. She didn’t like the idea that Isabella thought of herself in such a way. 

When she finished reading, Isabella didn’t make a move. The atmosphere felt so full with sadness and yet still no understanding for the feeling. Alice couldn’t take the feeling of pain that was rolling off the woman she knew no doubt was her mate. It was her desire and in her power to do something to change things for Isabella. She wanted to bring a different world to Isabella and above all else she wanted to be in that world with her. Alice still resigned to move slowly, but she was definitely going to make a move. Alice squeezed Isabella’s arm tighter. 

Isabella finally looked at Alice, relieved to still fill her sitting there. She was so lost in her own mind she had forgotten she was accompanied by anyone. Isabella thought that her words would scare Alice away and yet she couldn’t image telling Alice no when asked to read her story.

“Your story doesn’t end happily,” Alice stated. “Your character never found anyone to love her. It was so sad.” Alice continued to look at the places where Isabella and her body touched.

“Everyone doesn’t get the happy ending. Some of us don’t deserve it.” Isabella looked everywhere but to Alice.

She could feel Alice holding her arm tighter and she memorized how warm it felt, how wonderful. 

Isabella knew that she wouldn’t have the joy of feeling it ever again. Just like her character, she wouldn’t have a fairy tale end. Soon she would be off on her own and she wouldn’t tarnish the polished life that she knew Alice lived. Alice was too bright and good to be weighted with Isabella’s past and burdens. Isabella felt she didn’t even deserve to share the same forest with someone as captivating and lovely as Alice.

Alice chest got heavy at the sound of Isabella’s words. The despair that was evident in Isabella was so concrete that Alice could have sworn Jasper was there with them, projecting the emotions of the shy, weary girl in Alice’s arms. Alice knew all too well how true loneliness felt. She hadn’t always had such a comfortable life and those were pains she could never forget. It was how Alice always remained so thankful for all that Carlisle, not only had done for her, but was willing to do for all of his children. Loneliness was not something Alice had to really contend with anymore and she so wanted to take it away for Isabella.

“Everyone deserves to be happy, Isabella, even you.” Alice turned Isabella’s face towards her, cupping her cheek. They were so close. The concentration of Isabella’s scent enveloped Alice. She wanted to kiss her, tell her how she felt but she was consumed by the fear that the timid girl would run.

Isabella felt so exposed, hearing the words from Alice. She loved the idea of being happy but she knew that Alice was wrong in her view, yet didn’t have the desire to tell Alice so. It was the difference in the worlds that they lived: everything was happy for Alice but for Isabella things were dark and would always be that way. She didn’t like it but it was something she accepted long ago; before she was abandoned by her sire, left to learn the brave new world on her own all too soon. She had to say something to keep from destroying Alice’s little world.

“Your eyes are almost black,” Isabella ran her hand under Alice’s eyes. “Does that mean you are ready to hunt?” If Alice hadn’t been so close she may not have heard Isabella’s small voice.

“Yes,” Alice said never taking her eyes from Isabella. “Would you like to hunt with me?”

“Sure. I would like that very much.”

The girls put away their things, leaping down from their perch above the ground. Alice landed gracefully on her toes. Though they jumped together, Alice landed first. She looked up in amazement as Isabella seemed to float down rather than leap or fall, landing expertly on the tip of her toes on one foot. They walked quietly through the forest, hands and shoulders brushing each other as if in accident, but both girls actually sought out the contact of the other. 

Isabella watched in utter amazement as Alice took down deer after deer. Alice looked so feral, wild, and even more beautiful. Wonderful feelings were washing over Isabella as she watched the blood flow from the animal and into Alice’s waiting mouth. Isabella was envious of the animal that got the pleasure of Alice’s lips being pressed to their body. She wanted to be taken into Alice’s arms, encased under Alice’s body and made love to. The heat that seemed to be radiating out of her core was new to her and she loved it. 

Alice saw Isabella sitting back watching her as she fed. The bloodlust that she experienced when she drained the defenseless animal filled her, warming her body inside out. She loved Isabella’s deep eyes on her. Alice wanted to take Isabella in that very moment, use her body, her hands, and her mouth to tell Isabella what she was to her; mates finally joining, giving Isabella the happiness that she felt evaded her. Alice never knew that this was how her family felt when they were with their other half; a feeling so strong it was hard to imagine it could be tamed.

Alice dropped the lifeless deer onto the ground, never taking her eyes off Isabella. Alice walked, almost stalked, towards Isabella, letting the life force fresh in her body, its rustic taste still in her mouth, drive her to move. She circled around the tree stump Isabella perched herself upon. She felt a boldness that she could attribute to nothing but the blood in her body and the pull of her soul mate.

Isabella liked the way Alice was looking at her, as if she was ready to pounce. She loved how her body was on alert though she didn’t fear Alice would attack her, or at least not in a bad way.

“Aren’t you thirsty?” Alice asked kneeling on her knees in front of Isabella, almost whispering seductively.

Isabella could smell the fresh blood on Alice normally sweet breath. She wasn’t thirsty but the iron smell mixed with Alice’s scent made Isabella’s throat burn and her body tingled. Alice watched as Isabella’s eyes changed from their beautiful icy blue to stormy gray. The new color was just as gorgeous and unique and even it was boring into Alice, into a part of her body Alice didn’t even know could be enticed.

“I could never take down something as big as a deer. I hunt squirrels, or rabbits.” Isabella was feeling self-conscious, but she couldn’t look away from Alice’s eyes that were swirling, trying to get back to their golden hue. Isabella was dazzled.

“Tsk, tsk, tsk, my sweet Isabella.” Alice drew herself closer to Isabella’s body, placing herself between Isabella’s legs. Alice could smell Isabella’s arousal and it was all the invitation she needed. “You can do whatever you want. Trust me; deer is so much better, so much more . . . filling. Come I will help you.” Alice ran her hand up and down Isabella’s exposed legs as she spoke. 

Isabella moaned into Alice touch, embarrassed by the sounds and growls she couldn’t seem to control. Yet, if Isabella was being honest with herself she didn’t want to control them. She wanted Alice to touch her more and in places that clothes seemed to be hindering. 

Though the passion was on the edge of boiling over, Isabella knew it would be useless. She would be leaving soon and the last thing she needed was another reason to keep her in the area longer than what she already had been. No, it was time to go and starting anything with the beautiful and enticing creature in between her legs was only going to complicate that. But what could hurt to go for a small hunt.

Alice took Isabella’s hand and walked her into the thick of the woods. Alice allowed her hands to roam over Isabella’s hips, thighs and arms, praying that Isabella wouldn’t stop her. Standing behind Isabella, Alice began to instruct her.

“Close your eyes and just be. Take in a deep breath and listen for the sounds.” Alice hoped that her touches weren’t distracting Isabella but she just couldn’t stop her hands from being in contact with Isabella’s pale and soft skin.

Isabella’s breaths were shallow and uneven. She didn’t know if it was the heart beat that was pounding in her ears, something larger than a squirrel, or the work of Alice’s seduction.

“I can hear it, their heart is so loud. I can smell it.”

“Go to it, Isabella,” Alice whispered in Isabella’s ears. Before the last syllable left her lips Isabella was in full sprint towards the animal.

Isabella had never felt as alive as she pushed her limbs; it was as if a dormant instinct in her had been awoken as she bolted towards the animal soon to meet its end. She soundlessly leapt into the nearby tree swinging quietly from branch to branch. She stalked her pray from above ground. The animal looked around, sensing danger but never thinking to look up, nor run. Just as Isabella made it to the limb just above her pray she could feel her mouth flood with the venom she needed to paralyze the large animal. The buck was large and in any other circumstance he could likely hold his own, but he didn’t stand a chance against the small woman who floated down from the trees and on his back, breaking his neck before he had time to register his own end or fight back. Isabella didn’t hesitate to sink her teeth into the fleeting pulse in the neck of the massive animal. Her eyes rolled close as she allowed the taste to claim her senses. It was so much sweeter than her normal meal. Isabella could feel how strong she was becoming in just such a short amount of time. Why did she never think to hunt this way before?

Alice watched from a distance, amazed by Isabella’s agility. For a girl who never took down anything larger than a wild rabbit, Isabella was a natural at the big game hunt. As Alice watched Isabella’s venom coated teeth sink into the flesh of the departed buck she tried to stifle her own moan. Before she knew it, before she could tell she wasn’t going to stop, Alice began approaching the still feeding predator. Isabella looked seductive as she cradled the larger than her animal in her arms, still pulling on the wound she created. 

Slowly, Alice bent down to her hands and knees, crawling the remaining distance. She touched the back side of the animal grinning as Isabella yanked the animal out of Alice’s reach; so predatorily, so sexy and arousing. Alice knew she was playing a dangerous game, but she couldn’t make herself stop. Isabella left her mouth on the long gone deer, but growled a warning at Alice. Alice crawled up the body of the animal, going after her own pray. Alice moved her hand over Isabella’s that held the animal at its head and underside. She refused to take her eyes off Isabella’s face. She was going to have to show Isabella what larger game did to her already enticing eyes. Now with the fresh blood pumping through her, Isabella’s eyes were brighter almost white from the amount of light that they seemed to reflect. The animal was long since drained, but Alice bent down preparing to place her own month at the neck of the animal, only inches from Isabella’s. Before her teeth could make purchase in the dead bulks skin, the animal and the girls were moving.

Isabella tossed the animal from her small lap and dove at Alice before she knew it. A part of her brain was screaming that this was Alice, her new friend, not to hurt her, but too much of her brain was also saying enemy, destroy her. Isabella’s body warred against letting go of the hold that she had on Alice’s neck and applying enough pressure to pop Alice’s head off of her body. Alice face showed no fear despite the compromising position she was in. Alice knew that if Isabella really wanted to, if she lost control, Isabella could kill her before she had time to reflect the blow or evade her hold, but Alice worried not. She counted on the electricity pulsing through them. Alice inhaled taking in Isabella’s scent of flowers and sexual frustration. The look of the blood that spilled onto Isabella’s white tunic soaked the cotton material, giving Alice a slight view of what was beneath the thin material. Alice simply waited for her chance. 

Gradually Isabella loosened the grip she had on Alice’s outstretch neck, but never letting her go. Isabella wanted to stay this close to the woman who had absolutely captivated her. She watched Alice’s lips as they quirked into a victorious smile, though Isabella didn’t know what Alice had to be victorious about. Alice collected the damaged shirt in the ball of her hand holding Isabella closer to her. 

“Tell me to move. Make me let you go,” Alice said. Isabella was drowned again by Alice’s feel and smell.

“No,” was all that Isabella could barely say. She was so drunk with undeniable passion and want for the mysterious woman pressed between her and the ground.

Alice slowly arched herself back up to sit erect on the ground. Isabella still hadn’t moved from the front of Alice, on her knees between Alice’s legs. She didn’t know what she wanted to do but she knew it didn’t involve moving from that spot. Alice moved closer to Isabella’s face, slowly still watching the girl’s reactions. Isabella’s face soften, no longer struggling with the desire to end the life of the vampire who interrupted her feeding, instead fighting the desire to not kiss the vampire who was stealing a heart Isabella thought was long dead.

Alice ran her tongue over the corner of Isabella’s mouth, lapping up the blood of the buck that tried to escape Isabella’s lips. Isabella hissed at what Alice was doing to her body; her decision was made. Hell bent on begging for more, Isabella didn’t have to say a word. In another moment of pure vampire desire and uncontrolled want, Alice had her mate beneath her consuming her lips.

Isabella was drowning in the taste of the buck’s blood still heavy coating her mouth, Alice’s passion and heat as she pressed their lips together and her own arousal as it heavily scented the crowded forest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please Review


	3. First Goodbye

“The wind whipped her hair around her face and exposed neck. She didn’t dare to look back; too afraid of the pull making her stay when she knew it was meant for her to go. It was time. She couldn’t fight it anymore and it was best for everyone. Her few friends wouldn’t have to worry about her. The town’s people wouldn’t have anything to whisper about and maybe they could get back to their own lives. But most of all, her leaving meant her lover could finally have the life she deserved. Yes, it was better this way for everyone. That was Jacqueline’s final thought as the already too small town became smaller in her rearview mirror of her old dusty convertible,” Isabella read aloud.

Alice was perched behind Isabella’s back, sitting on the forest floor, leaned against the tree. Her hands toyed with the hem of Isabella’s bright yellow shirt. Her fingers would just barely brush the skin below the fabric. It had only been two weeks since the day Alice and Isabella’s hunt turned into a passionate kiss. Since then, Alice had the pleasure of teasing the skin of Isabella’s taunt stomach, the firm skin of Isabella’s calves and thighs, the strength of Isabella’s arms, and the sensuality of her slender neck. Their kisses and touches had not gone past things that were covered with clothing, but Alice dreamed. She still had not told Isabella what they really were to one another. Alice had decided to trust the nature of mating, trust that they wouldn’t be able to part, that Isabella would see and feel it for herself.

They had spent almost every moment possible with each other since that day. If Isabella wasn’t performing and Alice could sneak away from her family, than they were together in one another’s arms. Energy flowed through them freely, each dreading when it was time to part. Their kisses would be slower than they had been since being in each other’s presence. Hands held still, holding the other to their body rather than raking hungrily over skin and clothes. Then they would slowly part, each seeing a painful sadness in the other’s eyes as they slowly backed away from each other in their own direction.

“I wish you could stay with me. There should be another option than leaving you.” Isabella ran her hands down Alice’s side.

Alice wanted desperately to tell Isabella that the other option was for her to return to the Cullen Estate with her, but Alice couldn’t bring herself to say anything. As she slowly walked back home, using the time to get her thoughts and emotions together to ward off any more suspicion from Edward and Jasper, Alice had concluded that her hesitation to just drag Isabella back with her, even if she did kick and scream, was always because of Isabella’s words. Time after time, Isabella spoke of nothing but her leaving as the inevitable, as if she didn’t want to see any other options. Alice knew that Isabella’s blindness to all things that were not her dark, lonely mind was because of a past that Alice still didn’t know, and Isabella obviously wasn’t ready to share.

Alice listened to Isabella’s words as she toyed with the flesh under Isabella’s shirt, the place she much rather be placing kisses than barely innocent touches. Alice loved to hear Isabella read her stories aloud, but they always held meanings that Alice couldn’t ignore. Every story she had heard from the mind of her Isabella was sad, never with a happily ever after.

Isabella received so much pleasure in sharing her words with Alice, someone to listen to her true voice, the one that screamed in her head and forced her to write. Every story was retold with the same heaviness that was present when she dared to write it. Then the heaviness was the realization that the words she spoke were “true-fiction,” but now as she retold her hidden secrets for Alice to hear the heaviness was more for the fear that Alice would run. Isabella feared that if her imagery and dark settings didn’t drive Alice to leave hastily than it would simply be the fact that Isabella was lost in her own head, only fractionally present at all times.

Who would dare want to sit around and be alone even when there was another person present?

Alice pressed her lips to the nape of Isabella’s neck, moving Isabella’s long tresses to the side. Her hands had risen just higher under the article of clothing, Alice squeezed Isabella’s small frame, pulling her closer to her chest. Isabella moaned at the feeling of being held so securely, wishing like every other time that particular moment never ended.

“Another sad ending,” Alice stated.

“Sad, but realistic,” Isabella responded; her eyes closed as she lived in the feelings Alice was giving her.

“Whatever happened to ‘and they lived happily ever after, the end?’”

“Alice,” Isabella laughed without humor.

They were not a couple, or at least not one whose existence had been spoken into the universe, but if they were, this topic would be that one they would argue about.

“It may not be the happily ever after you want to hear but there is one.” Isabella pulled away from Alice’s body, coming from out between Alice’s legs.

“No, it’s not.” Alice had to breathe to stop the anger that was building. She didn’t want Isabella to leave but she didn’t know how else to explain that her stories, her story, didn’t have to end with more loneliness. “In a happy ending everyone gets what they want. The guy, or the girl, gets the love of their life. They build a family. They live out dreams. They are not perfect, but they are at least perfect for each other.”

“Alice, nothing is ever perfect. You don’t know what happened to Cinderella once that carriage disappears behind the pearly gates of that castle. The perfect ending, your happily ever after, may come in learning you were never good enough, just as you suspected, and you got out before you hurt the person you truly loved.” Isabella bowed her head. Her words became more and more of a whisper as she spoke.

“Or sometimes the lost and discarded princess finds the family that truly loves her, takes her in, and gives her a life greater than she ever thought possible.” Alice spoke with confident knowing that this story was true; this was her story. This was the very ‘happily ever after’ that she lived every single day.

“Isabella,” Alice begun trying to pull the love of her life back into her arms.

Isabella backed away from Alice’s advance, standing to her feet.

“The ‘Jacqueline’ doesn’t always want to leave, Al, but she accepts what she has to do.”

With that Isabella turned and walked away from Alice. She wasn’t running; she just needed to put some space between them.

Alice watched as her heart took sure steps away from her and climbed the tall tree, seeking refuge in her perch above the ground. Alice had already learned that this was Isabella’s way of getting space when she needed. Alice stood to her feet, walked to the tree that held the most precious, though indestructible, cargo of her long life. Alice slid down at the base of the tree, pulling out her own notebook to begin writing; the pages contained just as many entries of her time with Isabella as they did recapping the images of her family’s decision that bombarded her mind.

“I hope Jacqueline learns that it only hurts worst when she runs. One day maybe she can stop running, trusting that true love can handle a lot more than Jacqueline gives it credit for.”

Alice didn’t speak above a normal tone but she knew Isabella would hear her every word.

Isabella pulled her knees up to her chest, holding tight to her body that threatens to fly down to Alice and tell her everything she had not. Tell Alice her cursed gift, tell Alice she loved her, and tell Alice her past and all her hurts. Isabella wanted to tell Alice everything, including goodbye.

~*~oOo~*~

“Excuse me,” Alice said to the woman surrounded by what Alice could only assume where her children, one on each side of her and a smaller one in her lap.

“I’m so sorry,” the woman looked up into Alice’s face. “Sit back Thomas, so the pretty lady can get by.”

Thomas smiled up at Alice revealing his bright brown eyes and cotton candy coated face. Alice smiled at the gorgeous little boy and continued to walk by to take what seemed to be the last seat in the entire tent. Yet it didn’t matter to Alice if she had to stand in the door way, she was determined to see Isabella perform.

_“Why haven’t you asked me to come see any of your shows?” Alice asked a flipping Isabella only a few days prior._

_“’Cause they are pointless. They aren’t important or anything. It is just something I do. I wouldn’t ask you to waste your time,” Isabella stopped her random tumbles in the open field they had stumbled upon, looking at everything but Alice._

_“Your writing is something you do, but you share it with me.”_

_Alice was desperately trying to hold back the pain in her voice. She couldn’t help but feel there was another reason Isabella wouldn’t want her to be there. Maybe there was someone else there; the someone Alice could sense was truly keeping Isabella from her. Alice knew physically Isabella was there in their forest together but something was holding Isabella back. Without her visions of what it was that Isabella was deciding on after they parted ways, Alice had no clue what it could be. Weeks they had spent together and not one single vision did Alice have of anything remotely about Isabella’s possible future. Even with Isabella’s constant mention of leaving the circus soon, a decision that was so set in stone, Alice couldn’t get a glimpse of what lay ahead of her timid angel. Even more painful of a realization then that was that it also meant that Alice could not see her and Isabella’s future together, Isabella still hadn’t decided to be with Alice. Alice never thought that she would ever beg for a vision, but being with Isabella made her rethink the notion._

_“My writing is different though. It is important; it’s who I really am, and who I always will be. The circus is just a front.” Isabella picked at the bark of the tree, unknowingly skinning the defenseless plant with her strong hands till it was almost naked on one side._

_The two fell in an uncomfortable silence that seemed ever present with them sometimes. Something was always there, words not spoken, decisions not shared, secrets kept. Alice always noticed it but she couldn't tell if Isabella did._

_Isabella knew it was there, the almost palpable existence of unspoken words for many reasons, and was well aware of Alice notice of the heavy feeling as well. Isabella prayed Alice wouldn’t ask her if she noticed their growing awkwardness rather than comfort. Isabella knew if Alice dared to ask than she would have no choice but to tell Alice everything. Isabella, after all, couldn’t deny Alice anything._

_But Alice never asked, letting her fear of Isabella running away from her sooner than she knew, would eventually control her every time._

_“Well I want to see your show. I am sure you’re spectacular.”_

_As if Alice had said nothing else, the conversation was dropped, but not forgotten._

Alice sat impatiently waiting for the show to begin, clenching onto the package that she carried. In the wake of having to blend in with humans, Alice had took to fidgeting quite well over the years, but her movements, bouncing knee, toiling over her hair, and adjusting and readjusting how her shirt and skirt fell over her shoulders and legs, Alice could have fooled even the oldest vampire. Alice could only think that she had good cause to be nervous: she was there, at the circus, to see Isabella, who didn’t know that she was coming. Alice couldn’t help but fear that Isabella would be mad at her for dropping in on her world she obviously wanted so desperate to hide. Would Alice finally see what it was that Isabella was trying to keep from her? Alice knew that she had to feel as close to what vampires could possibly experience that resembled exhaustion cause by noting other than going so long without her mate’s presence. Alice didn’t even have the satisfaction of thinking of Isabella, still trying to hold it all back from Edward and Jasper’s all-knowing gifts. But now sitting in the tent surrounded by only humans who could not know her mind, Alice thought freely, wishing that her brain would actually stop bouncing from the smile she hoped Isabella would have and the angry words she knew Isabella could possibly say, or worst-the way Isabella could actually run.

The lights began to flicker in the tent, surrounding the occupants in complete darkness for a brief moment, sending gasps and ‘oh’s’ from the lips of those present. The overhead lights reemerge but only enough to cast a faint glow to the tent. Alice could hear the child next to her moving in his seat, but she was sure it was more out of fear of the darkness rather than excitement the show was beginning. Slowly walking from the curtain, center stage, Alice could see a woman dressed in classic Ringmaster attire, though Alice doubt the audience could see the woman’s approach just yet through the darkness. Before the spotlight landed on the woman and all could see clearly, Alice had already seen the woman’s long red hair sitting on her shoulders. Her Ringmaster’s jacket was red with gold buttons that didn’t appear to be functional, and gold shoulder straps that made the woman look squarer than was actually natural. The coat tail was long and dramatically flipped on the end and the outer edge of the tails were white, matching the tight pants she wore tucked into tall pointy toe black boots. The woman, now center stage for the entire tent to see, carried a thin black rod that she held with both hands.

“Well, well, well,” the Ring Mistress began to say, slowly walking closer to the audience. “Look who all came out to feast their eyes on the freaks of Marchino’s Circus. Welcome one and all,” the woman bowed as her voice carried throughout the tent, free from the assistance of a microphone.

The crowd hooted and hollered as the Mistress took a bow on behalf of the “freaks.”

“I hope the bearded lady was to your liking. What about that Pyro? Who would have thought fire was such a delicious late night snack?” The mistress ran on and on hyping up the crowd recanting all the earlier performances Alice had no interest to see. She just wanted to see Isabella.

“Naturally we saved the best for last. Be prepared to feast your eyes on talent like none other. The three ladies I present to you under this tent possess skills that even we, the circus of all circus, the circus who have traveled this planet far and wide, the oldest circus in the world, the unmatched collectors of freaks and geeks of all kind, even we cannot understand.” The exuberant woman walked frantically across the ground, wailing her arms and wand as her eager words fed the crowd.

One by one the entertainers performed on the open floor. Alice watched as Leah, the woman Isabella spoke of as a friend, angered, and calmed fierce tigers and lions. The crowd roared at the sight of the large felines rolling across her back and bending at her will. The tigers and lions were followed by an even more deadly lioness.

The caramel skinned beauty, who Alice knew from Isabella’s description as Carmen, sashayed into the center ring. The way her hips swayed to the melodic tune was hypnotizing. Alice watched as she lured a man from his seat, over the banister and into the ring, it seemed unknowingly. She placed him in a chair as she continued to entrap him with her lustful eyes and welcoming hips. She bent over, placing herself on his lap, claiming his lips with her own, being cheered on by the hoots of the men in the crowd. Once she had her fill of the now drunk on lust man, the temptress released him from the trance and he sat bewildered facing a very angry woman. By the look in her eye it was safe to assume this to be his wife. The crowd laughed as the furious woman chased him off the dirt stage.

Alice couldn’t help but wonder if anyone of these beautiful women: the best friend, the sultry dancer or even the ring master was the reason she couldn’t seem to get through to Isabella. She knew Carmen and Leah were friends, but could they be more? Something Isabella many not have told her?

“Now last but not least, I present to you the one, the only, tight rope ballerina,” the Ring Mistress’s voice came from nowhere in the dim tent.

Suddenly the spot light was on the platform of the rope. Alice scooted closer to the edge of her seat, anticipating Isabella’s performance but she was nowhere to be found. The spot light began to flicker in colors in the dark tent from yellow to oranges, blue to green, than purple. The darkness took over the tent one last time just as violin music began to stream from the speakers. The lulling of the music gradually grew more intense as the crowd anxiously awaited the arrival of the last act. Alice could feel her long still heart trying to pump back to life knowing her one and only was closer. The lights and the music stopped, leaving the tent filled with only the echo of the music; even the anxious crowd did not make a sound as if they were holding their breath. The violins bombarded the speakers again. The light flashed red and finally white again revealing the awaited performer.

Isabella stood in a pristine white ballet tutu. The top of the ensemble dipped low between Isabella’s breasts revealing only the smallest amount of pale white flesh beneath it, seeming to elongate her body. Her short slender legs were covered by nothing more than the pearl tone ribbon of her ballet shoes, twirled high up her calves. Isabella stood atop her toes arms moving to the sound of the music. Her face was naked of makeup, except for the tent that turned her already soft pink lips shiner. Alice breath caught at the sight of the beauty, clenching the box in her hands tighter.

Isabella was aware of Alice’s presence the moment she stepped out of her trailer. Alice’s sweet scent was stronger and more alluring than all the warm blood that filled the small space night after night. Isabella didn’t know if she was happy or ashamed that Alice had come to see her. Any chance to be in Alice’s presence was welcomed, but Isabella didn’t feel worthy to take Alice’s time in a place that much less deserved her presence. But Alice was there and despite the mixed feelings, Isabella was more than elated about it. As soon as her cue to step onto the small platform Isabella spotted Alice in the audience.

She was only dancing for one person that night.

Isabella “wowed” the audience as she walked the narrow one inch wire, pulled taunt between the two platforms that stood fifty feet off the ground with no catch netting beneath, on nothing more than the flat toes of her ballet shoes. Her pirouettes, twirls, spits, and flips were effortless. She bounced on the wire, twirling mid-air, only to land on one foot as if she was dancing on a stage. Each move caused the wire to give and bounce to her weight but it was as if Isabella floated down on air, never missing a step; a flawless performance. Her face was all concentration, yet not for her performance. Isabella lived to be so high above the ground, seeing things from a different perspective, and wanted only to be higher. For Isabella dancing was first nature, more so than walking. It was amazing to the human eye performing feats no human possibly could, but for Isabella it was everyday occurrence. No, it wasn’t the dance or the heights that Isabella concentrated on; it was making it good for Alice. She could do her routine, her special skill, in her “sleep,” but never had she done it in front of someone as important as Alice. So as she performed, ending her dance on the platform opposite where she began, all she could wonder was if Alice enjoyed it. Turning to bow to her audience, Isabella faced Alice head on, knowing that despite being fifty feet above her, Alice would catch Isabella’s eyes. Isabella smiled shyly curtsying to the only person who mattered just as her spotlight was removed.

“Only here at the Marchino’s Circus, people!” The ringmaster appeared before the audience again in her ring. “What did you think about that?”

“So beautiful,” Alice said in a whisper still staring up at the dark platform where Isabella disappeared.

In the noise of the excited audience, whistling and clapping at the performance that they just witnessed they could not hear Alice’s soft words, yet Isabella did. Her heart soared as she let out the breath she didn’t need, nor realize she was holding.

~*~oOo~*~

Alice stood in the middle of the empty three ring tent waiting on Isabella’s return. She could almost feel the energy that a performer would feel standing there looking at hundreds of eyes on them, trying to wow the crowd.

“You look comfortable there,” Isabella said appearing from behind the curtain.

Isabella stood before Alice in a white cotton tennis dress, nervously shifting from foot to foot.

“Hi. I hope you’re not upset for me coming like this.” Alice tumbled the rectangle package in her hands.

“No, its fine, really.” Isabella walked towards Alice slowly. “I am surprised to see you out this late. What did you tell your family?”

Isabella knew she was Alice’s secret but she didn’t mind. She was happy to know that when she left Alice wouldn’t exactly be alone.

“I just waited until they were all . . . um . . . occupied,” Alice snickered, “and then I left. Hey, can we sit up there?” Alice pointed to the platform where Isabella had just performed.

The standing post was just wide enough for both ladies to sit side by side on opposite sides of the tight wire, their thighs touching yet neither one of them moved from the other.

“You were extraordinary tonight,” Alice said to the beautiful woman beside her.

“Thank you.”

“I brought you a gift,” Alice said handing the box she had been absent mindlessly fumbling with all night.

“Wow. Alice you really shouldn’t have. I . . . I don’t know what to say.” Isabella looked away from Alice, smiling.

“Open it, and then you can say ‘thank you.’”

Isabella stared at the box, slowly undoing the perfect wrapping. She pulled the top away revealing the gift inside. It was leather bond journal the size of Isabella’s plain spiral notebook. The journal was four inches thick with plenty of pages, a stitched spine, and a long black ribbon place holder. Isabella picked up the book slowly running her hand over the front, feeling the texture of her etched name on the front cover. The front and back cover were held together on the right side with a clasp. Attached to the clasp was an elastic pin holder which contained the same thick calligraphy pen that Alice used. Isabella was speechless at the beautiful gift. As she looked back into Alice’s eyes she couldn’t stop the smile that spread across her face.

“Thank you,” Isabella said just above a whisper.

Alice sat quietly looking into Isabella’s sparking light eyes. She knew Isabella would like the gift. Isabella ran her hand across Alice’s brow moving the strand of wayward hair from her face. Alice relished in the feeling of Isabella’s skin on her.

Alice would miss the feel of Isabella so closed to her. She wanted so desperately to stay, to see and feel the love and devotion Alice wanted to give her. If Alice wanted her to stay than she would have to trust Isabella with the one and only thing she had been keeping from her.

“Isabella, I need to tell you something. There is something I have been keeping from you. I . . . have a skill that is kind of hard to explain.” Alice paused for the briefest of seconds knowing if she didn’t say this now it may never come out. “I can see the decisions that people make, therefore I can see their future.” Alice waited on Isabella to say something.

“What . . . What do you mean?”

“I am able to see people’s future based on the decisions they make.” Alice really didn’t know how else to explain it. Alice eyes shifted trying to look at anything and everything but Isabella. “The vision is subject to those decisions, so if a person’s change their choice than my vision of their future can change as well.”  
Alice didn’t know what she expected Isabella to say.

“You have a gift? How long . . . Do others . . . Do you know others with this gifts?”

Every possible question flooded Isabella’s mind all at once.

“I have been able to see things since before I was changed apparently, but that’s another story for another day. I hope I get to share with you soon. I want you to know everything about me.” Alice was getting off track. She reigned herself back in before she could confuse Isabella anymore. “Yes, I know others that have gifts, not like mine though.” Alice thought to tell Isabella of Edward or Jasper’s special skill but thought better of it. If Isabella allowed her, she would reveal all in due time.

Alice sat in silence waiting on Isabella to say something, do anything, and maybe even run.

Isabella was too lost in her own thoughts to learn there were others, other vampires with skills, to know what to do or say next. Why would her maker tell her lies, leave her to believe she was the only one? Isabella opened and closed her mouth as if she was going to say something but her mind was moving too fast to put together words. Isabella tried to figure out what it could mean?

Should she tell Alice about her own gift? Did Alice already know?

“I’m sorry Isabella. I wasn’t trying to hurt you or anything. I just don’t tell everyone ‘cause I use it only to protect my family, and it can be . . . ,” Alice rambled.

“Did you see me? Did you see my decisions all this time?” Isabella interrupted. Isabella couldn’t help but wonder if Alice always knew Isabella would not be around long. Alice could have her fun for a few weeks and then be rid of her without having to tarnish her too-good image. Was Alice using Isabella?

“No,” Alice looked away from Isabella again. “I can’t see your decisions. Even though you speak of . . . leaving,” Alice had a hard time saying the words, “I can’t see where you are going, what you will do. Nothing. I can’t see you at all.” Alice paused before adding, “I can’t see you with me.”

“Why?”

“I honestly don’t know. I’ve never met anyone I couldn’t see.” Alice knew it was now or never. She had to tell Isabella everything. “Isabella, I love you so much. These damn visions are a curse. I never like having them even though they come in handy when I need to help my family, but the only thing it has brought me the last few weeks is grief. I’ve desperately tried to search every vision looking for only one thing: you. All I want to see is you with me; together forever. Please Isabella don’t leave me. I love you too much to be without you.”

Alice was sobbing the only way her kind could. She had turned to face Isabella clenching her hand. Alice was willing to hold her in that very spot for eternity if that was the only way she could have her Isabella.

They fell into silence again. Isabella thought that maybe there was something wrong with her if Alice couldn’t see. Maybe her maker knew something that no one else knew. No she couldn’t share who she was to Alice, because though Alice had shared her secret, her gift, with Isabella, Isabella still was the freak her sire told her she was. There had to be something wrong with her if Alice couldn’t see. Isabella couldn’t help but think maybe it was the same flaw, that same glitch, which made Alice’s past blind to her as well. How could Alice love someone who was broken? Alice didn’t know how broken Isabella was and once she found out she would want to leave just like Isabella’s sire left. Isabella knew it was true. She didn’t want to burden Alice with that discovery. They were so alike and still so different. Though Isabella loved Alice more than she could understand it didn’t matter, she still didn’t deserve someone as good and beautiful as Alice. She was still leaving.

“Isabella, please say something?” Alice voice cracked with would be tears.

Isabella leaned into Alice’s body softly pressing her lips to Alice. She sat still memorizing the texture of Alice’s lips. Her eyes closed as her hands reached to Alice’s hair, only then did she part Alice’s lips with her tongue. Alice sighed in to taste of Isabella. Slowly their kiss grew until it was more urgent and passionate than ever before.

Alice couldn’t help but feel the sadness in each movement of Isabella’s mouth on her own, knowing that when they parted it may be for the last time. And as Isabella’s kisses began to slow Alice couldn’t help the tearless cry that began to escape her. Pulling Isabella closer to her, pressing their lips together in the same urgency they were in, never wanting the moment to end, never wanting to go, Alice somehow knew what was coming next.

“No, don’t leave me.” Alice pressed her lips back to Isabella. “Don’t say it. Please don’t say it.” Alice refused to let go of Isabella, keeping her just as close, but only tighter. She dared not to let Isabella go from that platform than just maybe she could stay in that moment forever.

Isabella was afraid that maybe Alice had a vision of her choice to leave now, but even that possibility wasn’t going to stop her.

“Hey,” Isabella whispered; her face only an inch from Alice.

She was going to say that she wasn’t going to leave but didn’t feel it was fair to lie to Alice. Alice knew something, be from a vision or just the feel of that moment, and Isabella didn’t want to play Alice’s intelligence. And though she had to do it, Isabella couldn’t pull herself to say goodbye either. The word sat heavy on her tongue, refusing to move.

“I have to go,” Isabella finally settled on, though the pain in her chest told her that those words weren’t much better than goodbye. Either way it meant she was gone, forever, and even Alice’s declaration of love couldn’t stop her.

She stole one last kiss from Alice before leaping down from the seat they shared, clenching the gift she would cherish forever, running at an inhuman speed away from the angel she had broken.

Alice jumped down from the scene of her murdered heart with all intentions to run after the woman she loved. She couldn’t let Isabella go without a fight. Even if she had to fight Isabella’s own corrupted mind and self image, Alice knew it was a battle she was willing to walk into. Her mind was focused on nothing but Isabella as her feet moved on its own accord. Her chest was screaming and heavy with agony. If it was required of her to breathe she would have certainly fainted long ago as the weight of her broken heart was making the simple task an impossibility. Alice feet pounded the ground pushing her forward but it wasn’t until she saw Esme’s roses that she realized that her body had betrayed her, not taking her closer to Isabella but further away.

Alice crashed to the ground aware of a high pitch scream coming from somewhere nearby, but all she could do was feel the damp grass beneath her.

“Alice! No, Alice. What’s wrong? Alice can you hear me?”

She knew the voice to be Carlisle. She could see him leaning over her on one side as Esme sat on the other.

“Oh no, my child! Carlisle what’s wrong with our child?”

Alice could hear more footsteps approaching, crunching the pebbles and grass beneath their feet.

“Oh my god, Jasper!” Alice could hear Edward scream.

“It’s Alice,” Jasper said as if he was out of breath. “She’s in so much pain. I’ve never felt anything so heavy, so heartbreaking. I can’t . . . Edward, I can’t take it . . . make it stop. Please, love, make it stop.”

Alice could hear it all, but couldn’t move, couldn’t speak. She could only look past Carlisle and Esme’s frightened faces and into the night sky that was filled with stars. She wished she could just float away to those stars, leaving agonizing internal pain behind. She knew her family was worried for her, but she just didn’t have the ability to physically speak, to assure them that she would be okay. It didn’t matter, she had to first assure herself and at that moment as the night dew soaked through her blouse and she felt as if she didn’t inhabit her own body, she didn’t really know if she would ever recover.  
  
“She just keep repeating in her mind ‘she left me, I’m alone now forever, she left me alone forever, I loved her and she left me,’” Edward relayed Alice’s thoughts to his family.

“Who? Who left her?” Rosalie spoke.

“Let’s get her in the house. We will watch her. When she is able to speak we will get to the bottom of this.”

Alice could feel arms wrapped around her limp body as Emmett’s face replaced Carlisle and Esme’s. She could still hear Jasper sobbing, moaning, and begging for it all to end. Jasper was the vocal representation of how she felt, as Alice only sat limply in Emmett’s arms, seeing her surroundings but still not really seeing anything. To her everything looked dimmer, grayer, and lifeless.

Emmett laid Alice in her bed, walking out of the room just as Rosalie came to undress her. Once Rosalie had her in a gown she went down stairs to address the others.

“I will stay with her first,” Rosalie said. “Edward, why don’t you try to calm down Jasper?”

“I’ll try but I am afraid that as long as he is here he won’t be able to break through. Whatever he is feeling from Alice is too much for him. He is using all of his energy to keep from projecting her feelings back to the rest of us.”

“Maybe you two should leave then?” Emmett suggested.

“No . . . I am not leaving her. Edward, we need to be here for her,” Jasper was speaking as if he couldn’t get in the air he needed push the words out. “I am fine. I need to be here in case she needs me.”

“But Jasper,” Edward began.

“Darling, please?” Jasper begged with is last breath. Edward didn’t try to argue.

“Fine. Emmett, please help Edward set up a temporary space for him and Jasper in the basement. Maybe we can put a little space between you and Alice just to give you some relief. Rosalie if anything changes call for us. We will keep an eye on her in shifts until she is ready to talk to us.”

“Carlisle,” Esme’s voice was still weak. “Do you have any idea what this could be?” Esme clinched tighter to her husband’s arm for support.

“I’ve only seen something like this once. It was during my time with the Volturi, when Marcus’s mate was . . . taken away from him. From what Edward heard in Alice’s mind, I can only assume that it is the same thing.”

“Wait a minute, mate? You think Alice lost her mate? What . . . when did she find a mate?” Emmett looked around the group trying to see if he was the only one that didn’t know his baby sister had been seeing anyone, let alone her destined other half.

No one said a word. Esme looked away from the eyes of her family, heavy with guilt.

“Esme, none of us knew. This is not your fault,” Edward addressed his mother’s internal musing.

Carlisle clinched his wife tighter, stroking her long hair in an attempt to sooth her worries.

Alice listened to her family as she lay in her bed completely still like only a vampire could be. There was so much she knew she needed to say, but just physically unable to do, so she spoke to her family the only other way she knew she could.

“She is saying she is sorry to everyone for putting them through this, especially you Jasper,” Alice could hear Edward relaying the message. “She is promising to tell everyone what happened; she just can’t bear it right now.”

At Edward’s recount of Alice’s thoughts, Rosalie quickly took the stairs back to the room of her grieving sister. She quietly took a seat in Alice’s room out of Alice’s sight, trying to give the grieving girl as much space as possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.


	4. First Attempt

Never once did she have to try to leave. The time came, she packed only a few belongings, and she was gone, that was how it always went. This time the task was with a difficulty that, yet again, Isabella just didn’t understand. It seemed anything that involved Alice left Isabella unsure, or was met with much difficulty.

There was nothing to stick around for. The circus would be pulling out in a week and though Isabella still had several performances left, she made up in her mind that she had to leave. She knew that she had to go right then, leaving a wounded Alice behind, or else she would never be able to go. Alice didn’t deserve being weighed down with the likes of her.

Isabella quickly made her way to the trailer she shared with Leah, hoping Alice wouldn’t follow. Isabella knew that though Alice had never been to the “home” she shared with Leah, that she could have simply followed her scent there. She stood quiet inside the dwelling, back pressed against the door as if the act could have hidden her from Alice. After a short while she realized Alice wasn’t coming and she needed to be gone before Leah returned.

Material things were pointless and Isabella could care less about leaving most of it behind. She pulled out a rolling suit case from beside her bed, knowing it would be plenty large enough to hold what she needed. She carefully, but quickly, packed some pants, shorts, shirts, a jacket, two of her favorite dresses, a couple pair of shoes, and needed under garments; leaving the rest of the clothes in the small space. The suitcase already held the last three notebooks she had been writing in and the sling bag over her shoulder held other personal items, including all the cash she would need and the ability to get more if such a time presented itself.

Isabella picked up the gift that the generous pixie had given her, now it was the most cherished thing of all of her belongings. Isabella debated on putting the journal inside the suitcase on top of her clothing or inside the bag that hung over her shoulder. She needed it close to her, the little piece of Alice she had. After putting it in her bag, taking it out and putting it in the suitcase, and putting it back in her sling bag, she finally decided in the end that her suitcase was safe enough. Isabella contemplated leaving a note for Leah and Carmen, telling them she would miss them dearly but in the end she just couldn’t tell them goodbye either. Never before had the finality of that word weighs so heavy on her, but then again never before did Isabella ever feel as if she had something worth holding onto.

Isabella wondered what would happen of her friends. Would they be sad that she left? Would they try to look for her? Isabella hoped not and yet she still left them no reason not to. No words to ensure them that she was okay and it was just time for her to move on. No explanation as to why she was stepping out on them after all this time. But Isabella knew she couldn’t tell them why she had to go without revealing so much more. And though Leah and Carmen were important, it was really only Alice that stayed her feet.

Only miles away from the tent where the most amazing creature told her that she loved a lost, dark, unworthy vampire such as herself, Isabella was finding it harder and harder to keep moving. The luggage and bag she carried felt to weigh a ton, dragging her down and she was growing exhausted. Isabella couldn’t be more than a dozen miles from the place she knew she had to escape from and yet she felt like she was a human that had been running for days. Her mind was racing on everything that was Alice.

Her face, her smile, her golden eyes, and her soft lips and above all else the time they had spent together.

As Isabella’s mind fought to collect everything that made up her weeks with Alice, she only grew more tired; the reason for her leaving seeming less and less substantial enough. Finally, Isabella couldn’t take it anymore; her head was whirling of the mess that she made of her life, not knowing where she should be or what she should be doing, the air around her even seemed to be too much to handle. Isabella dropped her bags where she stood, desperately trying to catch her breath.

She spun around in the small clearing where she stopped, her eyes closed tightly as she rubbed them furiously with the heel of her hand; anything to clear the thoughts of a broken Alice from her mind. No longer able to hold her composure together, Isabella threw herself on the grown sobbing tearlessly.

Her strong arms and fervent strikes to the ground kicked up the dirt of the dark forest floor. Unexpectedly, Isabella was surrounded by a sweet scent, a scent she would follow to the ends of the Earth. She pounded the ground, her anger and frustration stirring the scent around her more. How could it be that in her escape she had still managed to be surrounded by Alice? She stood to her feet, for the first time truly looking at the environment she had found herself in: the very spot where she drained a buck for the first time and better yet, the very spot Alice had awoken the sleeping monster deep inside her being with a passionate kiss. She raised her hand to her lips, closing her eyes as if she could feel Alice there even still, tugging on the very lust that she herself had placed in Isabella. Alice gave her a feeling that no one, not even her sire, had ever given her. Sitting on the very forest floor that she had on so many occasions shared with Alice was only making her departure that much more difficult.

With every stroke of Isabella’s hand across the packed dirt floor, she released more of Alice’s glorious scent and ignited another memory that they shared together. Isabella pinched the damp earth between her finger’s laughing to herself as she thought about Alice’s commentary on why fashion was losing its power in the world with each passing decade. And just as the aroma aroused days of sitting close to the woman who had somehow managed to become the light of her existence, it also reminded Isabella of the time they wasted arguing.

Isabella knew Alice wanted to change the way she saw herself, but no amount of convincing could change that Isabella accepted her fate of being a lonely wonderer all of her existence. Isabella never told Alice how a part of her longed to be rescued, even if it was only from her own mind. She knew that a little piece of her still believed in the happy ending that Alice spoke of so often, but Isabella had lived through enough of reality to know that wasn’t how her tale was going to be woven. Isabella had very few of her human memories, and given that she was born blind, seeing the world was still new to her, but she still couldn’t hide the fact that she had heartache both before and after her change.

The human memories were dark from the lack of sight and the memories were only auditory tracks that played in her mind that seemed to be hard to “hear,” but the feeling of pain was undeniable. The visual of what pain could look like was made up for ten folds after her change and those memories, the ones that now she could never forget as they were etched in her perfect memory, made up for the dark ones she could only hint at from her human days. It was those things that kept Isabella from confessing all to Alice. It was those things that set her feet in motion, ready to begin her time of wandering again. The solitude and loneliness was not new to Isabella, but the resistance she was feeling this time, the part of her that was still holding her to Alice, was new.

She didn’t know why her days were only worth it if she was seeing Alice. Isabella couldn’t recall the last time she actually cared about what she wore, before a small fashioneista stumbled into her life. She couldn’t recall ever caring what someone else had to say or opinion of her was. But when it came to Alice, everything mattered. It felt as if she took her first breath when Alice was around. She knew that it was Alice who made her care; gave her existence a purpose.

Isabella had a word she wanted to put to it all, but she feared it at the same time. In her past, both as a human and vampire, the mention of that word, the labeling of that act meant someone was leaving her. They were running from her. They were taken from her. They refused to accept it from her. No, that word was evil, and it brought about nothing but pain. The pain of the solitude and wondering lonely for far too long Isabella could take, but the pain of being rejected and denying what every person’s heart, dead or alive, needed; Isabella wasn’t strong enough to handle. Isabella couldn’t put that label on what it was that she could clearly see in Alice’s eyes, or feel on Alice’s skin, taste on Alice’s lips, or hear in Alice’s voice. If she said it, than it was real and then Alice would leave.

Isabella couldn’t, for all that she had been through, say that she loved Alice.

There seemed to be no motion, no life around or in Isabella, as she sat in that forest floor. No matter how much she willed it she couldn’t bring herself to move in any which direction. She stood there in the silent forest cussing to herself. Suddenly, the quietness was interrupted by a screech as loud as a banshee. As the sound pierced through the air, it also seemed to tear into Isabella’s body, stealing her very breath away. Her feet began to move towards the venom curdling cry as if her soul knew that it was only in her power to make the wounded whole again. As she moved in the direction the scream emanated she realized she was yet again surround by Alice’s scent. The aroma was heavy and moving forward.

Then Isabella knew.

“No. No! I can’t do this. I can’t go there,” Isabella cried out in her mind.

She could hear the turmoil in her voice. The sound was laced with pain. Isabella’s feet slowly began to move on their own accord, following the scent. Somehow she knew that the physical pain she felt was Alice’s soul crying out for her. Though her body continued to move, the very body that refused to move to get away from the pain that was soon to come, managed to move faster through the forest; following the trail her soul mate left behind.

“I can’t see her. It’s my fault she’s hurt. I know she’s hurt because of me. But I am saving her. I am only helping her by leaving,” Isabella spoke, not believing her own words.

Though she was going the wrong direction, Isabella was happy that she was moving at all. Her moving meant that she could leave, and she had every intention to still do so. She just had to get out of the city and then she would be free of the heartache that was sure to come if she dared to stick around. Maybe when she managed to get distance between herself and the woman who was forever in her mind she could buy a car; maybe a dusty old convertible just like Jacqueline, the character from her stories. Isabella had never bought a car when she went on her wandering across the continent, always wanting to be able to swing and sit high above civilization, but maybe it was time for a change. Maybe the car could get her farther away faster than her feet could do, or was apparently willing.

Isabella came closer to the edge of the surrounding forest.

“I’ll just look in on her than I will go,” Isabella thought.

She took her place among the tree a few hundred yards away from what she suspected was Alice’s yard, knowing she could see and hear all. Isabella watched as Alice was surrounded by whom she could only assume was her coven, or family as Alice referred to them. Alice had told Isabella there were six others but never shared their names.

She listened as the blond man who crashed to the ground cried out in agony, saying it was caused by Alice. Isabella couldn’t understand what he meant, but the look of Alice’s crumple body on the lawn, before her view was blocked by another blond man and brunette woman, seemed to match the sounds that were spewing from the distraught man’s mouth. Isabella couldn’t help but question if it was his or Alice scream she had originally heard. They were all so concerned for the beautiful woman that now lay limp and speechless on the ground.

Suddenly Isabella was hit with a vision of someone’s past. She watched as a scene of a dark city ally flashed before her eyes, a crowd of men staring, looking at something on the ground. Isabella could smell the alcohol and feel the cold fall breeze on her skin. She could feel the damp ground seeping through her dress, touching her back. The vision felt of despair and death, like something was slowly being voided out. As the vision grew still, Isabella’s eyes focused on a crumpled woman, golden blond hair, where it was not stained with blood, laying on the ground, discarded as trash. Isabella’s eyes shot up, focusing back on the present. It was then she realized she was seeing the beautiful blond that now hovered over Alice’s body. Seeing Alice so still, so lifeless, no light in her eyes reminded her of a dark day in her past. Isabella couldn’t feel anything but despair for the beautiful vampire.

Isabella chanced getting closer to the scene. No longer able to see her reason for daring to be so close to a large group of unknown vampires, Isabella had to be sure Alice was okay and from where she was sitting Alice was far from it.

The other male vampire spoke as he ran one hand through his tossed red hair and the other hand attempted to comfort the effected blond.

“She just keeps repeating in her mind ‘she left me, I’m alone now forever, she left me alone forever, I loved her and she left me.’”

The words rang in Isabella’s head over and over. Isabella knew she was the “she” that left her. Isabella knew that this magnificent woman suffered because of her. She hid her face away, tucking herself into a ball as tight as she could on the branch where she sat. She watched as the last man in the group wrapped Alice in his burly arms and carried her out of Isabella’s sight. Alice still had not said a word and it was Alice’s exuberant voice that Isabella needed to hear to ensure her health. For so long she sat there in the tree trying to understand what had she done to Alice.

Isabella knew her leaving Alice would hurt, but to believe she was the cause of the woman’s almost catatonic state was too much to grasp. Why would Isabella’s leaving affect Alice in such a way if in fact that was why the normally bouncy vixen was now lifeless. Could it be the same reason why Isabella couldn’t seem to leave when she needed to more than ever before? Isabella questioned what was the pull that she felt deep in her chest that moved her feet towards Alice when she thought her hurt; the very pull that only calmed when the two were together?

Isabella was thankful that the forest seemed to completely outline the perimeter of the house. Isabella stayed in the shadow of the trees as she discerned where they were taking Alice. She saw as a light on the second level come on. She placed her suitcase high in the branches and retrieve Alice’s gift to her. Quickly and as quietly as only her kind could, Isabella swung from tree to tree, sure to stay off the lawn or making any movement that may alert the remaining occupants. Isabella sat on the branch closes to the window that she found looked into the room that could belong to no one but Alice. The room was covered by photos of landscapes and pictures of everyone Isabella had just witnessed outside, surrounding Alice’s body. Alice’s camera and notebook sat on a desk beside a computer. She began to stroke the leather of her own journal unknowingly. Isabella watched as Alice laid silent in her bed, only staring at the very wall where the window sat that gave Isabella her view of Alice. She couldn’t help but wonder if Alice could see her, and if so if she would believe her eyes.

Apologies rambled off in Isabella’s head towards the woman she deserted. She still couldn’t understand what the fire was deep in her to go to Alice and fix her; fix any and everything that was wrong, even if what was wrong was her fault. The tightness in her chest was inching her closer and closer to the window that showed her the vision of the wounded angel and yet the fear behind that feeling kept her from just knocking on the door demanding to see the woman who had captivated her over just a few short weeks. No matter how far out on the limb Isabella sat, she was too far away from Alice, but it was that very spot where she was going to stay until she saw the body reanimated. Then, and only then would she would be able to leave.

Though Alice was her number one concern, Isabella couldn’t help but think about the red head man and his words to the rest of the rescue team who came to help Alice.

His words, “She just keep repeating in her mind ‘she left me, I’m alone now forever, she left me alone forever, I loved her and she left me,’” continued to roll around in Isabella’s head. How did he know what she was thinking? Could he be one of the vampires Alice mentioned she knew who also had a special gift? As she sat watching Alice intently, she couldn’t keep her mind from drifting from the fact that she may not be alone, there were others like her. Alice had visions of futures. This man in her coven seemed to hear Alice’s thoughts. Could he hear others as well? And the blond man who seemed to be synced to Alice’s very feelings; what was his connection to her angel, she continued to ponder.

Was it Alice that was doing this to them? Was she the key? Or were they just like Isabella?

Gifted?

~*~oOo~*~

Alice watched as the night sky gave way to a too bright morning sun. Of all days, the day following misery, there was to be sun. Alice watched as the light moved across the sky from sunrise to mid day to sunset and finally to night. She stared at nothing but the light that bounced on her wall as her skin sparkled in the light. From what she could tell that was day one.

On the next day the sun made another appearance, just as happy and proud, gallivanting across the clear sky. Alice only huffed at its arrogance. Day two and three presented this way. On the third night, Alice looked upon the gray orb that took the suns place. As if the torture of the moon’s presence wasn’t enough, he brought along friends. Millions of them sparked in the sky that Alice wanted to call anything but beautiful but as much as she tried she couldn’t describe it any other way. After so long she began to watch as the stars would twinkle down, losing at least six stars that night. To Alice, she had lost seven; the first one left her unexpectedly three nights ago, running with unquestionable speed that meant only she didn’t want to hear a word Alice had said.

The fourth day was better, it rained; a lot. There was no sunrise, no mid-day boldness, no sunset and no high moon with millions of following stars. Finally the weather reflected how Alice had felt. She couldn’t help but smile at that, kind of. Why should the rest of the world continue on when she seemed to be caged in her own despair? But the rain didn’t last long enough; on the fifth day the rain had stopped; the sun didn’t return outright, it wasn’t bright. Alice couldn’t help but think this was the best of the days. Not up as the sun seemed, not down as the rain called, just simply there. Alice was still as bad as utter stillness could be. She wasn’t getting happier lying in the bed in the same gown Rosalie had slipped on her nights before. She moved no more than a few feet, rolling from one side of the bed to the next. Rolling away from the sun, moving closer to the rain, and just staring at the null day of neither event, Alice didn’t know if she was happier or worst with that change.

Other than watching the weather move about outside her window, the only other way she knew time was passing along around her was by the flow of her family. First Rosalie, then Carlisle, followed by Esme, and then Emmett, and lastly Edward all seemed to move in and out of her room in rotations as if they were in some hospice facility just waiting on Alice to pass on away. Jasper never came. Alice assumed he was lying in his and Edward’s bed likely the same as she was laying in her own. Knowing she was causing Jasper the very despair she was living with added to her grief. She knew that Edward would be effected as well, seeing his lover completely crumpled and useless. Carlisle and Esme would feel the pangs as well as they watched their family suffer all around them. Emmett would be upset, though he would do everything in his power to hide it; because everyone around him was so down that his humor and carefree attitude wouldn’t help those he loved. Then there was Rosalie.

Rosalie seemed to look as pained as Alice. The others would slide into Alice’s room and offer an attempt at conversation: Esme telling her that she was there as she stroked her hair, Carlisle reading stories as if he was actually nursing a sick child, Emmett reading comics or making plans for them to prank the family when Alice was ready as if she would ever be ready to live again, and Edward responding quietly with “no worries, sister; everything will be okay; you don’t have to apologize” to Alice’s thoughts . . . but not Rosalie. She just sat in the chair opposite Alice bed. On her next shift she would lie in the bed and brush Alice’s hair with her favorite satin bristle hair brush she had managed to acquire from her childhood home during her stint of revenge on the men who attacked her. But she wouldn’t talk. Alice would have vision of Rosalie scurrying the woods looking for whomever it was that hurt her little sister, but not once did Rosalie leave her side other than when a family member came to relieve her. Alice would stare blankly into the world but out the corner of her eye she could see Rosalie’s empathy painted on her face.

At first Alice couldn’t understand what it was that Rosalie empathized with, after all Emmett was there by her side every day. When Rosalie would be relieved from death watch, Alice could hear Emmett comforting her nearby, whispering words of love and devotion, humming, and encouraging her. What would Rosalie know about what Alice felt? What did she know of lost love? As days went by the question plagued Alice mind; until the fifth day. Staring out the window at the neither sunny nor dark day, Alice remembered that Emmett wasn’t the first man that Rosalie loved. Not really wanting to ask, not ready to speak, Alice had to assume that Rosalie was reliving the feeling that she had when the man she loved abused her, misused her, and left her to die. Though Rosalie took out her physical revenge on the scum, she still lived with a piece of the knife he stabbed her in the back with. And though Alice knew Rosalie wanted to exact the same revenge on the worthless excuse of mass-to-take-up-space that had hurt her sister in the same way, she also knew Rosalie was showing her something more: how to move on.

Behind the pained eyes Alice saw on Rosalie as she continued to sit with her day in and day out, Alice saw strength. On that fifth day, somewhere between Esme’s words of comfort and Rosalie’s brush, Alice found her own strength to move on. She wasn’t moving on from what she felt for Isabella. Alice didn’t doubt that Isabella was her mate, but she knew that she would never have what was rightfully hers if she stayed in that bed, wondering if time was still going by. Alice had to make a move. She had to move on from the state she was in, had been in for days, and move towards finding answers.

It was rare over the course of those days that Alice was ever left completely alone for more than a few minutes. She knew that Edward would likely be coming in next and she wanted to get out of that room and out of the house as quickly as possible. Alice knew an argument was about to ensue, but she was just going to ignore it. She didn’t care if Edward read in her thoughts where she was going. They would know the story soon enough anyway.

As soon as Emmett left the room, Alice was in motion. She threw on a pair of jeans and her tennis shoes and the first shirt she pulled out of her drawer. Just as she threw her messenger bag over her shoulder, Edward was in her door way.

“Alice?” Edward asked freezing in his spot.

“I have to go, Edward. Don’t try to stop me. Don’t ask to go. I don’t care if you tell the others but where I go, I go alone. There is nothing to discuss.” Alice was unable to use her voice. She didn’t really want to hear it.

“I can’t let you do this. We are all so worried about you. Let us help you. Allow at least one of us to help you, go where ever it is with you.”

Alice walked passed Edward, not surprised when she saw the rest of her family in the living room standing, ready to intercept her. They all wore a look of mixed emotions-happy to see Alice dressed and moving, but alarmed by the half of the conversation they could hear taking place between Alice and Edward. Edward was directly behind Alice coming down the stairs.

“I will be back. I am begging you not to follow me,” Alice thought. Her mental voice carried every sound as if she was sneering the words between her teeth had she said the words out loud.

“Alice, please,” Esme tried just as Alice made it to the door. It was the one person she hoped wouldn’t say anything to her, as she hated being angry at the best woman in her life, but even sweet Esme couldn’t stop her.

“I’m sorry, Esme. Mom, I have to do this on my own. My way,” Edward relayed Alice’s thoughts for Esme and all to hear. Alice lip moved up only a fraction, but enough for Edward to know that she was trying to thank him with a smile.

“Hell no! You are not leaving here without me being with you. There is some ass that needs to be kicked,” Emmett screamed walking towards Alice just as she was about to step out of the door.

“No!” Jasper screamed stepping between Alice and Emmett. “She has to do this on her own. Leave her the fuck alone.” Jasper screamed at Emmett, growling for good measure. They weren’t his words or his emotions. The anger was all Alice.

Emmett growled back at the vampire that halted his advances. Just as Alice went out the door, her anger let up, allowing Jasper to breathe and feel for himself.

“Emmett, I’m so sorry,” Alice heard Jasper say to their brother.

There was silence for a little while until Emmett replied, “I understand, Jazz. It wasn’t you.” He clapped Jasper’s shoulder, just as the emotionally exhausted vampire fell into his lover’s waiting arms.

It took her a minute to remember how, but Alice ran.

Isabella was in a panic not understanding what was going on in the house. She immediately stood up in the shadow of the tree she had inhabited for the last five days when she saw Alice dressing. When she saw Alice going out of her bedroom door Isabella could only assume she was going down stairs, out of her sight. Isabella swung from tree to tree trying to get closer to the house but the forest wasn’t as close to the front door as it was to the back. Damn it! Why couldn’t Alice go out of the door they had carried her into on that night all went to hell?

Isabella swung to the tree’s that were directly in front of the front door yet many yards away. She listened closely to the sounds within the house but she could never pick up Alice’s voice. Isabella still didn’t know names, only faces and recognized voices as she listened to them talk to Alice day in and day out as they sat with her in her room. Isabella hadn’t heard the blond woman’s voice, or the tormented blond male’s voice since the night they rescued Alice. Though she could hear their words she didn’t understand what was being said, like something was missing. Alice’s side of the conversation was not there, or seemed to be relayed through the voice of the red head.

What the hell was going on with those two? Edward seemed to always be aware of what Alice was thinking or wanted to say. Isabella’s anger began to rise as she sat in the tree waiting on something, anything, to happen. How dare he be so close to Alice? Isabella didn’t know what this feeling was that was threatening to pull her from the tree and claim Alice as her own. She was enraged to think anyone could have something with Alice that she herself could not. Was Alice with this man or was this another gift she possessed that she failed to share? Just as quickly as the anger and new emotion came, so did the guilt. Alice was stirring so many emotions in Isabella’s body that she didn’t think she could handle it much longer. How could Isabella be angry for Alice when she still had every intention of leaving? In fact, was it not time to go now that Isabella saw Alice storming out of the house, messenger bag over her shoulder? Was not the deal she made with herself that as long as she knew Alice was okay, then she could leave?

As Isabella sat on the branch trying to will her feet to move, to leave, she was hit with more visions of someone’s past.

The visions seem to hit with twice its normal intensity. The voices, sights, and sounds she heard in the vision seemed to echo as if the dream was playing twice in her mind. The time was so long ago. Three people stood in a room arguing, trying to convince one not to leave. Isabella could feel anger and sadness, feelings of disgust and understanding. As the vision came into view behind her eyes she began to recognize the players: the red head, the blond man who hovered over Alice’s limp body and the brunette who was by his side. The flashback showed the red head screaming obscenities about the vile thoughts of the people he had to be near every day, his mind filled with their true intentions. He ran, dashing through the forest, no intention of ever returning. His anger was tinting everything in the scene red. The flashback then changed to the view of the blond male, tearlessly sobbing in the arms of the brunette. He was filled with pain, and yet understanding at the same time, knowing what it was that tormented his son. Could it be that Isabella was having two visions at the same time: that of the red head and the blond? Alice departure obviously prompting their thoughts, they believed that she may never returned. Mind finally clear of the household’s past decisions, Isabella knew she wouldn’t be leaving, or at least not to get away from Alice.

Unlike when she tried to leave before, her feet obeyed her as she commanded them to move after the quickly departing Alice.

~*~oOo~*~

The grounds looked different. The tents seem grayer despite it bright white and red stripes. It was still a bustle of people walking about. Everyone was busy doing something or the other, rehearsing, chatting, flirting, eating, and fighting. The atmosphere was so lively; no one noticed the girl who now walked head held high, determined through the lot. Alice inhaled deeply searching for any hint of Isabella’s scent; old or new. Alice didn’t know if Isabella had left the traveling circus or if she had just left Alice. She knew that the circus would be pulling out in only two days and if she didn’t find Isabella by then that she may never find her.

Last time Alice walked onto the circus grounds she had a plan. She just knew that Isabella was feeling the force that was connecting their lives together. Alice hoped that it would only add fuel to the fires that sparked between them whenever they were in each other’s presence. Someone had to make the first step out of the awkwardness and Alice knew it had to be her.

That planned failed, sending Isabella running away from the woman that now stood in front of a trailer door hoping for answers.

Alice knocked on the door only once, before it was swung open by the woman Isabella recognized as Leah.

“What?” Leah said, coated in attitude and discontentment.

“Hi, you don’t know me but I was hoping you could help me find Isabella,” Alice started.

“Isabella? How do you know Isabella?” Alice could hear the hope, worry, and protectiveness in Leah’s voice. Alice knew then that Leah knew less than even she did.

“I am a friend of hers. We use to meet a couple times a week but I hadn’t seen her since her show four nights ago.” Alice didn’t need to tell Leah more than that. Too much more and Alice was going to have to explain that it very well was her fault Isabella ran away a week earlier than originally intended.

Leah crossed her arms over her chest studying Alice. “What do you want with her?” Leah questioned.

“Look, Leah, Isabella told me all about you. I know you are worried about her and I am, too.” Alice voice was rising, drawing a few of the goers to notice her. “I love her and I have to make sure she is okay. If she still wants to leave after I find her, then so be it, but I can’t just let her walk away and not know why, where . . . or who she is with.” Alice eyes dropped to the ground her voice losing most of the edge she carried.

Leah’s resolve began to fade.

“Come in,” Leah said stepping to the side.

Alice was immediately hit with the smell of the humans who lived there. The sudden fierce burn in her throat reminded her that she hadn’t hunted in over five days, and knew her eyes were likely as black as coals. The only scent in the room that was centering her was the fading smell of the vampire that once resided there. Alice knew instantly Isabella hadn’t been there in days, likely since the night she ran from her. Her scent was fading fast, covered by the humans that remained there.

“Babe, did you say something about Isabella?” A woman’s voice filtered into the small would be kitchen/sitting area before she was seen. Alice could see Carmen was even more beautiful up close.

“Oh, hi,” she said stepping closer to Leah, taking her hand.

“This is a friend of Isabella’s . . . apparently. She was wondering where she was as well,” Leah spoke but didn’t look at Carmen or Alice.

“Oh, well we haven’t seen her since her performance four nights ago. We have been so worried,” Carmen eyes shifted back and forth between Alice and Leah. “How exactly do you know Isabella, anyway?”

“We met one day in the woods. We were both kind of hiking. Do you know where she would possibly go? I know she doesn’t have any family but maybe,” Alice trailed off.

“No. Isabella has never done this before,” Leah answered, finally looking at Alice. Of course Leah didn’t know what that Isabella actually did this all of the time. “She doesn’t have a car, family; we were her home. We don’t know why she would possibly leave.”

“Plus, she loved her job. Man, Tisler is so pissed, too.”

“Who is Tisler?” Alice asked

“Donna Tisler, the Ring Mistress,” Leah answered.

Just then, the sight before Alice eyes changed from the crowded kitchen where she sat too close to humans that were teasing her burning throat, into a vision of Leah and Carmen approaching the Mistress.

Anger fills the three as Leah tries to explain her need to find Isabella and Tisler threatens to fire both Leah and Carmen if they leave. They don’t leave the circus to search for Isabella, but Leah is upset that there is nothing she can do for her lost friend.

Alice is aroused out of her vision by Leah calling her name and waving her hand before her face.

“Are you okay?” Carmen asks.

“Yes, I am fine. I should go,” Alice says as she walks to the door. Just as she stepped out into the surrounding, free of both the scent of the too close humans and Isabella’s luring aroma, Alice turned to address Leah for the last time. “You know whatever happens, you shouldn’t feel bad about the decision Isabella made.” Not waiting on Leah to respond to her words Alice turns to leave.

She slowly made her way back into the lining forest when she was sure no one was looking. Alice slowly walked back home with no more answers than she had went she left. She ran to the very spot where Isabella would share her stories. Isabella’s scent was still there just as well as it was back at her trailer, yet in the small clearing where they spent so much time, Isabella’s scent seemed fresher, stronger. Alice ran her hand over the tree that Isabella stripped of its bark, she sat on the ground where they often talked and laugh, but it wasn’t until Alice climbed the highest tree, sitting on the widest branch that she felt at one with what she knew she shared with Isabella.

Alice didn’t understand. She began to question if possibly she was wrong about Isabella being her true mate. Could it be possible that Isabella didn’t feel what Alice felt for her? Could Alice been fooling herself to believe this lie all of these weeks? As Alice sat in the tree, her mind pulled back every meeting they shared; her perfect memory recreating Isabella’s words, Isabella’s actions, and even her stories. Alice felt as if Isabella was trying to tell her all along what was her story, but Alice missed it. Time continued to pass around Alice as she sat in that tree trying to call Isabella by her soul; wanting to know if Isabella felt as lost as she did. She knew her family would worry and surely look for her as the sun set and the moon began to rise. She leapt from her tree and began the sprint home, only stopping to drain several deer.

The house was quiet and Alice was hopeful. She hoped they would be satisfied with her return and simply leave her to her room and to her thoughts. As she stepped in the door however she knew that wouldn’t simply be the case.

Everyone was standing circled around Carlisle. His normally young face seemed to have aged since Alice saw him last and she instantly felt guilty.

“I’m sorry I am late. I didn’t mean to make you all worry,” Alice said as she looked down at the carpet and desperately tried to hurry to her room.

“Alice. Another vampire has been near the house.” Carlisle’s face showed how concerned he was about this information.

“What? When? I didn’t have any visions. I saw nothing. How do you know?”

Alice’s voice rose as she shot questions at their leader, not giving him time to answer. She looked before the face of the rest of her family; none of them gave a thing away.

“Edward and Jasper picked up on their scent as they were coming in from a hunt. They immediately told me and we searched the house and the perimeter for miles but found nothing. It doesn’t seem they have been in the house but they have been as close as the front door,” Emmett answered Alice’s question.

Alice waited for someone to continue. If the visitor hadn’t breeched the house, hadn’t done any damage, why were they all gathered in the living room as if they had to pack up and leave that very moment. Alice understood that they would have to be careful, and at full alert until the unannounced guest was discovered and deemed threat or not, but they all stood stiff as if they were ready to attack just then. Alice had to pull her head back into this universe. Could she have possibly missed a vision while she was so lost in her own despair?

“Alice, this was left for you at the door.” Carlisle slowly walked towards Alice, passing her an envelope that was covered in the very scent she basked in as she contemplated life while she sat in a tree only a moment ago.

In perfect familiar script was written:

  
_To Alice –_   
_A Happy Ending?_   


Alice gasped as she slowly took the envelop from her father’s hands. Staring at the thick message to her, she began to walk towards the stairs, never acknowledging her family again; and never did they try to stop her.

Once in her room, Alice laid the missive on her bed, as far out of her reach as possible. She sat with her back pressed to her head board. She took a hold of a pillow and clenched it in her arms as it lay across her lap.

Alice debated if she wanted to open the letter from the woman who abandoned her without a look back or remain in the dark place she was already in continuing to not know what was contained inside . . . to know why Isabella questioned a happy ending.  
　


	5. Reason

Isabella wasn’t surprised to see Alice leading her right back to the circus grounds. She followed Alice as far back and as quietly as she possibly could. She had never seen Alice so determined as her legs carried her at an inhuman speed towards the site. Too many times Isabella wanted to reach out her hand, call out Alice’s name, and tell her that she didn’t have to go searching. Isabella wanted her to know that she had never left, and with every passing second was realizing she could never leave. The idea both excited and frighten Isabella. Never being alone again was almost enough to forget the way Alice could tear out her heart if Isabella dared to let Alice get close enough.

Alice slowed her walk as she prepared to break through the tree line, which is where Isabella’s trail ended. She had never given much thought to where she and Leah parked their would-be home when they first set up shop in the state of New York. When it was time for Isabella to hunt she would simply leisurely walk into the surrounding woods. No one ever paid Isabella much attention anyway, keeping a wide enough space between them and her at all times; but now Isabella wished they had chosen one of the lots closer to the trees. She longed to be able to hear the words Alice shared with Leah. Isabella tried sitting as close as she possibly could to the lining trailers, but she still could not hear what was being said.

Isabella sat in the tree simply waiting for Alice to reemerge, hoping to be able to keep an eye on her as she made her way back home. Isabella’s head was swimming with what was becoming of her existence. Couldn’t stay, couldn’t seem to leave; and above all else she could not bring herself to tell the one she cared the most about how she really felt. Her head screamed at her to call her feelings what they were, but as she argued with her own mind she began to feel more and more defeated.

But Isabella didn’t know how else to be. She had always been slow to accept anyone, and she didn’t see how now that would change. Why should it change? Just because she met some wonderful girl whose smile was brighter than the sun, whose eyes saw beauty in everything and apparently everyone one, and had confessed she loved Isabella with some unknown, or hard to understand, attraction that called to both of them? For Isabella everything had changed when she met the beautiful vampire in the woods all those weeks ago.

Isabella just knew that Alice could never understand pain and heartache the way she knew it; the type of pain and heartache that makes you questions everything. Alice was too pristine to know things so grimy.  
Isabella decided that it was time that Alice knew the type of person she claimed to love. Isabella was sure that Alice could not love her; Alice only thought that she did.

Isabella pulled out her old notebook and the beautiful fountain pen Alice had given her. It was time for Alice to know the truth; to see Isabella as she really was. In the end, Isabella knew that it would either make Alice see the light (and then maybe Isabella could leave for good) or not phase the unyielding small vampire.

Isabella scrolled fiercely across the paper, dead set on sitting Alice straight, once and for all.

~*oOo*~

The bold, thick letters of the words printed on the envelop seemed to stand out in Alice’s face. Alice recognized the smooth lines of the pen’s strokes, knowing it was likely written with the pen she had given Isabella as a part of her gift. She wanted to open the letter just to see if the pages were of the journal she had given along with the pen, but she knew if she opened the letter she would feel even more drawn to read the message. Alice didn’t think she was ready for that.

She couldn’t help but roll the words around in her mind.

“A Happy Ending?”

Alice couldn’t imagine what Isabella meant with those words. She knew that Isabella didn’t believe in such things; it was one of the few things that they argued about (that and the idea that any picture in black and white would look just as magnificent in color). There was no happy ending for them; Alice thought to herself her brawl frowning at the memory of a retreating Isabella. Alice told Isabella how she felt, left herself open to the possibly of having the happy ending Isabella strongly though alluded her. Isabella was gone, and Alice felt she had to accept that fact, never knowing what was so intriguing about Isabella. Never knowing why she couldn’t see Isabella’s future. Never knowing what could have happened if Isabella would have let Alice love her. And though all those answers could have awaited Alice in the folds of the envelop that sat in front of her, she still couldn’t bring herself to break the seal, read the thoughts of the woman who was otherwise fleeting and silent.

What if the letter told Alice how much Isabella didn’t want her in her life? What if the words in that letter were to explain why Alice wasn’t good enough for Isabella; that Isabella would never stay by her side?

The strong emotion was crushing Alice it seemed from the inside out. Just the thought of a forever without Isabella was too much for her mated heart to bear. Mated? Could that really be what they were if Isabella was able to run so easily? Then the thought that maybe Isabella didn’t run after all crossed her mind. Well, Isabella definitely ran from her but how far could she have gotten if she was able to leave her scent around the house and this letter? Could Isabella have stayed? If she did stay, could it have possibly been because of Alice? The thought was enough to relieve some of the pressure that Alice felt bearing down on her, but not enough to sooth the ache completely and convince her to dive into the parcel that awaited her on the bed.

Alice picked up the letter, holding it out from her face. The envelop was thick and Alice mind began to wonder if Isabella had answered all of her unasked questions in the note that she had risked leaving at her door. Alice didn’t know what the letter meant, but what she did know for certain was that she was too chicken to open it and see. Alice dropped the burden back onto her bed, landing with a soft thud on her sensitive ears just as there was a knock on the door.

“May I come in, darlin’?” Jasper’s voice carried through the wooden door.

“I don’t mind,” was all that Alice could muster, still not looking up from the pillow that lay across her lap.

“I would ask you how you are feelin’ but I kinda already know that, don’t I?” Jasper stepped into Alice’s room, closing the door behind him as he pressed his back to it.

Jasper had struggled with being so close to Alice as she dealt with the heartache and pain that he had never experienced before. Every tearless sob Alice had was shared with Jasper. And though the feeling was horrible to bear for both of them, it was the inability to provide Alice with any time of calm or at least numbing agent to help her cope that hurt him most. Jasper knew that Edward was trying to stay out of Alice’s thoughts, giving her privacy to deal with all that she was going through, but Edward did say that her mind was a whirl wind of doubts and confusion. Her mind was so entangled with whatever her trauma was that her thoughts were incoherent.

“I’m sorry for the danger I put the family in.”

“We can take care of everythang, you know that. We’ll deal with that issue when it presents itself. I don’t think we are in much danger anyway. We’ll be on lookout, but we’re mostly worried ‘bout you.” Jasper waited on Alice to speak again, but she didn’t. “I’m sorry for not comin’ and sittin’ with ya like the rest.” Jasper voice fell as his own sadness laced his words.

Jasper didn’t want Alice to think he had abandoned her. He was trying to find his way out of the dark cave of their joined feelings so that maybe he would be able to reach out and pull Alice out as well.

“Oh, Jasper! You don’t have to apologize to me. I’m the one who should be apologizing. I have turned this entire family upside down. Everyone is on pins and needles walking around like I am going to break. I can’t blame them; I think I’m going to break too. I just don’t know what to do anymore.”

Alice words were coming out in a rush of air and tearless emotions. Jasper quickly closed the gap between the door and her bed. He took the seat behind Alice, squeezing between her back and the headboard. Jasper wrapped his arms around her petite waist, squeezing her and the pillow she still clenched. He laid his cheek on the top of Alice’s hair as he rocked her so gently in his arms. Alice had let up on her emotional frenzy when she decided to venture out that day, giving Jasper enough time to catch his own emotional breath. He hoped that his close proximity to his baby sister and the soothing control and calm he was sending her would be enough for her to sort out the labyrinth that had become her mind.

“Thank you, Jazz. What should I do?”

“You’re welcome, Al. Ya know I’m always here for ya.” Jasper clung to Alice a little tighter. “What should ya do ‘bout what darlin’?”

Alice tapped the envelop that occupied the bed with them; and in her opinion it was taking up most of the space.

“What? Read it? I cain’t tell ya what to do, Al. That’s your decision. This is your life to live when it is all said and done.”

“I know, but you can give me your opinion; you can tell me what you would do if this were you and Edward.”

“Alice, Edward is my . . . everything,” Jasper let out a quiet laugh thinking about the love of his life. “I can hardly imagine bein’ ‘way from him, not knowin’ where he was or how he was doin’. I understand the pain you have been in. I think I would be the same, if not worst, if it had been me.”

“Really?” Alice sounded so dejected.

“Definitely, but ya know what, Alice?” Alice looked up into his golden eyes. “If I had the opportunity to know what he was thinkin’ or why he left, I would take that risk. I love him enough ta appreciate the fact that he . . . tried.”

“You think I should read it,” Alice stated rather than asked. She looked down at the envelop that rested in front of her. It seemed like the ink was getting bolder and the envelop thicker as it waited on her.

“I don’t think ya can afford not to.”

Jasper kissed Alice on her temple and smoothed her hair back down. He stood from his place sandwiched behind her and walked back to the door.

“No! You can’t go Jasper. I need you here for this. I can’t . . . what if I can’t handle it?”

Alice was panicking thinking about not having Jasper’s gift keeping her calm and courageous as she read Isabella’s words. Alice knew she was going to need something to keep her from breaking down like she had days before. Her family wouldn’t be able to handle seeing her like that again.

“Ya don’t need me fur this Al,” Jasper sent her one last wave of calm. “And if I feel anything spike I’ll be right by ya side in a split second, ya know that. Ya need to do this on ya own.” Jasper went to walk out of the room, but was summoned by Alice again before he could close the door behind him.

“Jasper?”

“Yeah, Al?” He could sense Alice’s nervousness overcoming her again.

Alice took a deep breath, closing her eyes, trying to focus on the one question that would determine if she would breach the envelop.

“What I feel for her,” Alice couldn’t say her name aloud, “is it real? Is she my mate?” Alice voice cracked with the tears that would never fall.

“Trust in what ya feel.”

Alice eyes grew sad at Jasper’s words, she didn’t know if trusting her feelings was the best idea given that was exactly why she found herself in her current situation. Jasper took pity on Alice’s confused and freighted feelings.

“Yeah, Alice, she’s your mate.” And with those words Jasper left Alice alone with the elephant in the room.

The confirmation of what she was feeling was helping to ease Alice’s mind some. She knew than that she didn’t have a real choice in telling Isabella how she felt, or feeling completely broken when she watched Isabella flee from her, never looking back; or as far as she knew until that evening Isabella never looked back.

But obviously Isabella did look back. Maybe Isabella never turned away from Alice. The idea that the letter may be full of an explanation and maybe even good news, like Isabella did want Alice, became more of a possibility to her than the thought it was Isabella confirming her fears of inadequacy. It was then Alice realized she had to know. She had to know what Isabella said and what Isabella wanted.

She had to read the letter.

Taking one last calming breath, Alice tore into the envelop before she could change her mind. Pulling out the paper revealed that it was plain lined paper and not the crisp pages of the journal she had given to Isabella. As soon as she unfolded the sheets she was surrounded by Isabella’s scent. The aroma permeated the sheets that Alice now held close to her face, taking long drawn breaths to satisfy her senses. Releasing the bit of air in her lungs, Alice started the task that she knew she could put off no longer.

~*oOo*~

_My sweet, beautiful, Alice,_

_Happy Ending?_

_I don’t know of such a thing. Maybe this will help you understand . . ._

_My memories are not clear from my days as a human. I don’t remember much of that time, but the things I do remember makes me wish I didn’t remember anything at all. Every past memory is laced with pain. My sire, Victoria (I will get to her later), believed that my memories are so vague because I didn’t see any of it; I only heard it or felt it. You see Alice, I was born blind and remained that way until Victoria found me._

_But I am getting ahead of the story. I will start from the beginning in hopes that by the end . . . will honestly I don’t know what I hope this letter accomplishes._

_I was born into a two parent middle class family. We lived in Maine. My father worked in an insurance office and my mother stayed home to care for me, their only child. I don’t remember their names, now I guess knowing them wouldn’t really matter. As I got older I remember my parents always fighting, my father always gone, and my mother always crying. I would hear the neighbors whispering about how it was so sad that they let “it” destroy their marriage._

_“The child didn’t ask for it after all,” I heard one woman say as I hid on the side of our house, behind some bushes. I don’t know why the memory stayed with me when so many others obviously didn’t, but like I said pain was all that I knew._

_After than I began to hear and feel what everyone else could see._

_I would touch my mother’s face when my father was around. She seemed softer, her cheeks would feel fuller, and the skin along her chin would feel pulled tight. I learned later that this would be her smiling. Other times those features would be gone. She seemed harder and her cheeks felt as if they sagged, she was frowning or crying. I never got close enough to my father to touch his face. He didn’t seem to hold me much or even acknowledge my existence. I soon realized that the “it” the neighbors were referring to was my blindness. My assumption was validated one late night._

_I don’t remember how old I was but I would imagine I was at least ten at the time. I was old enough to understand what I was hearing and know that it was not good._

_I didn’t hear what started the fight but it didn’t take long to gather that I was the topic, as I usually was._

_“How could you ask me to do that? She is our daughter for Christ sakes,” I heard my mother speaking. Her voice was heavy as it often was whenever I felt her face and found streaks of water there. I knew she was the harder version of herself then. Though I did not touch her, it seems as if my hands felt the saggy wet skin that she would surely have if I was permitted to touch her face._

_“I don’t care! I don’t want her here anymore. We can’t do anything for her anyway. Dear, we can try again. We can have another baby and pray this one is whole.”_

_Have you ever had a moment where you know someone hates you, or love you? I knew you loved me the first day you sat with baited breath and listened to me read one of my stories. I knew without a doubt that on the stairs of my parent’s home, my father never had, and never would, love me._

_“No. I won’t abandon her. I won’t throw her away just because we can’t take her to the company picnics. How could you suggest such a thing? She is your daughter too. She has your eyes!”_

_“SHE DOES NOT HAVE MY EYES,” my father screamed. “That is the damn problem. She’s blind. She’s useless. WE! Do you hear me? We will have to take care of her all of her life. No man will want her. She will never marry. She will never give us grandchildren. She is worthless! Why should we be weighted down by this . . . child?”_

_“I can’t believe . . . ,” my mother said though I could hardly hear her as I was sure she chose then to whisper. They shouted so loud that rather I was on the stairs or outside on our porch, I would have heard everything._

_“Don’t make me the bad guy. You think the same thing. You don’t think I hear you crying at night, always sad. You use to be so beautiful. You smiled all the time. Now . . . well now you just seem so lost. That girl is doing that to you, love. It doesn’t have to be that way anymore.”_

_The silence was only broken by the occasional whimper from my mother and my father trying to sooth her with “shhs.” My worthless eyes began to cry then. They couldn’t see anything, leaving me in darkness, but they could cry. I wiped away my tears only for more to fall. I was worthless and was a disappointment to the man and woman who brought me into this world. They were right for wanting to get rid of me however they could. They were good people; they didn’t deserve all that I was doing to them. I made up in my mind that I would not say a word when they ordered me away. I just hoped they would at least permit me to take a few of my things that brought me solace: a notebook I tried to write in, thought I had no clue what it or my writing looked like, and a book of brail my mother had been teaching me. I stood to return to my room, not knowing how long it would remain mine, but I paused when I heard my mother begun to speak again._

_“I will not,” she paused to sniffle, “allow you to throw our daughter away. We will stand and deal with this together.”_

_Tough it was silent for a while I knew in my heart that he would not go for it. After all the man did not love me, he had already made that known._

_“Then you will do it alone. I am sorry. I love you, I truly do. We had eleven excellent years, but I will not stay here.”_

_In his defense he truly did sound torn, but I knew it was not for me. He didn’t want to leave his wife, he did love her but he would not stay if it meant that he would be keeping his disgrace of a daughter._

_I was in a state of panic, trying to control my breath to determine where he was going. I should have known that he would be heading for the stairs. Fear rose in me, not wanting him to catch me there. I don’t know why it mattered to me really. He did not acknowledge me any other time and likely he would have just stepped over me as he often times did. I swiftly tried to move my feet and reach for the skinny cold metal banner that lined the stairs, but in my haste to retreat from my place, my feet became entangled in my long night gown causing me to slip, landing face first on stairs. I could feel, smell, and taste the blood as it came oozing out of my mouth. I didn’t want to cry out, be more of a burden to these people but the pain was too much for my small body. I heard him stop on the stairs and knew that he was relatively close to me but not once did he try to help me. My blindness was all that I knew, so there was nothing for me to be afraid of really, it was my normal, but for the first time, as far as I could remember, I was terrified that no one would come to my aid. I heard him take in a breath but never move towards me or away. He just stood there._

_“Oh my Christ! Come,” I finally heard my mother say as she pulled me down the stairs._

_I felt her hand guide me through the house that I knew well. She sat me down in the chair and from the feel of the hard material I was on I knew we were at the kitchen table. The chairs there in the kitchen had leather that didn’t feel as soft as those in the dining room. In my surroundings I heard the water running, the door of the refrigerator open and close, a drawer open and close and clanking of something hard on the linoleum counter. After the hiss and clatter of the things around me the next thing was the feel of something cold and hard being placed at my mouth. My crying had come under control as I listen to the kitchen come to life, but now that my face was being pressed and cleaned I wanted to cry out again. The pain slowly gave away to numbness. My mother was still there with me as I could hear her moving about me, occasionally running her hands through my long hair._

_After a while I heard his footsteps again. The tap of his shoes stopped at the kitchen door, and though I couldn’t see his face regardless, I dropped my head in shame. I wasn’t what a graceful daughter should be. He shouldn’t have had to look into my dead eyes._

_“Don’t do this,” I heard my mother say._

_“I am sorry, my lovely. I will always love you.”_

_I could hear my mother’s heel shuffle across the floor and suddenly stop. Though they said no other words I could hear the sounds of fabric rubbing against each other and quick breaths._

_“Goodbye,” were the final words he whispered to her before I heard his footsteps no longer on carpet or tile._

_I didn’t hear my mother move. I didn’t feel the rush of air when she walked passed me. I was fairly certain that she stayed in the spot that he left her in but it seemed as if she would never move. I sat there waiting on her to come to my aid as the towel I pressed to my lip began to sag and drip water, being more warm than would I could assume started as cold ice cubes. I thought she had left me there, alone, leaving with the man who was not afraid to say he did not want his only daughter. No longer able to stand the feel of my soaked night gown, I lifted my head in the direction I assumed her still to be._

_“Mom?” Was all that I could muster out of my scared and still pained body._

_I could hear her sniffle; clear her throat and walk back to my chair. She took me by my wrist and led me up the stairs. Normally she always took me by the hand, covering my small one with both of hers, but this time it was a tight squeeze on my wrist and though she did not pull me she didn’t lead me either. It was then that I knew I had lost her too. Without saying a word she replaced my night gown, coated my lip in a horrible smelling liquid that tasted bitter and numbed my tongue, laid me in my bed and walked away with not so much as a wish good night._

_Though she was still with me physically she was just as gone as he was. It would not be long before her love would vanish too._

_Everything changed after that. My brail lessons stopped it seemed immediately. At some point we moved and mother began to work. Once we moved she never lead me around. I was in the dark and knew nothing of our new home. Too often I walked into a wall, tripped over uneven carpet or doorways, bruising every part of my body. She no longer came to my rescue either. I soon learned how to clean and care for my own scrapes, cuts and bumps the best way I could. Eventually, I learned the house but it was in vain as we would move months later._

_Then the abuse started._

_Though she was always there she began to ignore me too, and those would be good days. She would practically beat me when I asked for lunch or dinner. Some days were just bad days and she seemed to discipline me because she woke up in this life yet again another day. If it wasn’t locked down or too heavy she would hit me with it. My senses grew stronger, I could sense when such episodes were arising and I was able to run, hide or at the very least duck. She didn’t have much of a fight in her and any struggle I put up would slowly begin to remove the bit that was there from her, but I couldn’t struggle every time and not for long. Sometimes her tirades just caught me by surprise and there were no avoiding them or her. She did feel remorseful sometimes but never long enough to matter or make a difference._

_One day, years after my father left I was in the mist of one of my mother’s moments of rage. I don’t know what I did to garner her attention but I am sure it was not much. After she beat me to uncontrollable tears I felt her fall to the hard floor beside me. She wrapped her arms around me and held me as tightly as she once did; before he walked out on her. My tears began to slow until finally they stopped altogether. We laid there on the cool floor for some time as she hummed in my ear, protecting me, and running her hands through my hair. Suddenly her humming and comforting touches stopped. She quietly got up from our spot and walked out of the room. I sat up, not really wanting to disturb her again and yet not really having anywhere else to go. I heard her footsteps returning to the room and felt her hand back in my hair. She never said a word to me before I heard the whispering screech of the scissors. I could feel the cool air of the room on the back of my neck like I had never felt before. My hands immediately went to my hair only to find most of it was already gone._

_I found it in me to struggle with her, trying to run to save what was left of my long tresses. I cried out to her, begging her to stop but she never did. The last time I reached up to shield what was left of my hair she cut my hands with the razor sharp shears. She didn’t stop long enough to tend to my open wounds, only continuing to take her quiet frustrations out on my hair. It was a couple years later that I was changed by Victoria and gained my sight. Even though time had passed and my hair had tried to grow back it didn’t seem to do so evenly and did not grow back as nearly as long and it once was Even after all of that time you could see the scar my mother left on my hair._

_I believe that is when I truly gave up hope on my mother. I was ready to end my sadness, pain and darkness once and for all; I just didn’t know how._

_But then she came for me._

_I don’t really remember how Victoria found me or even got me away from my home. She was a vampire after all so I am sure she had her ways, but I believe that I could have simply followed her to where she wanted to lead me. Rather I felt safe being in Victoria’s presence before I even knew what she was or I knew that she would kill me, it didn’t matter. Death was a better option than what I had there in my mother’s home._

_My change was an accident; Victoria had no qualms in reminding me of that fact._

_After Victoria bit into my flesh she told me that my blood tasted tainted, undrinkable. She did not intend to allow the change to take place, content with always being alone but she was fascinated by the looks of my pained face and body thrashing around the forest floor. She told me she was too lost in the screams and jerky movement of my body to act on actually killing me as she had planned. When she finally came out of her trance I had already been under the change for at least a day and a half and from then she didn’t know why she hadn’t ended my life._

_I awoke from my change to find a seething Victoria. It took me a while to realize that I was actually seeing the things around me. Victoria stood over my still panicked body. I clawed at my throat with my nails trying to swat away the fire that burned from the inside out as I looked upon her face. Her hair was brilliantly red, falling in deep waves around her shoulders. Her lips were just as tinted as her hair, red as if she had a fresh kill. Victoria was striking in her beauty and far too intense for my new eyes._

_I stood to my feet terrified, over whelmed by my new ability to see. Things were too bright for my eyes that were too use to being amidst the darkness. At times I would sit with my eyes closed and listen to remember what things were in my world. When I would open my eyes and see the very thing that enticed my ears I would be in awe, fascinated by them. I was like a little child, learning new things._

_Without warning Victoria struck me across the face, sending me flying across the dank place where she kept me, a cave or cavern of some sort. My anger flared instantly. I couldn’t remember why but the feel of Victoria’s strike reminded me of a time of defenseless darkness. My body shock with a sound coming from deep within me. I lunged at my attacker, not knowing what I was going to do but feeling like there was something that should have been done. Before I could make contact with her I was halted by a strong hand around my throat. Victoria had caught me midair, slamming me onto the ground._

_“I did not want you and if I was not worried about them finding out I would leave you here to figure this shit out all on you own.” Victoria sneered through her teeth. It was then she noticed the difference in my eyes. “What the fuck are you?” she asked but obviously not to me because I had no clue to what she referred. It would be days before I was able to see my eyes for myself and notice that they did not match Victoria’s fresh fed crimson or thirsty black. Here I was a new creature and still did know not what was expected of me._

_Victoria did begin to teach me but not much. She taught me how to kill quietly, how not to draw attention to myself, though with my almost normal eyes it was easier for me to blend in. She taught me how to dispose of the body. She taught me that I wasn’t worth the work and time she was forced to put into me._

_Victoria never told me who the “them” were that somehow bonded her to me when she wanted so badly to leave me behind. And though she was as warm to me as my father was, I found that I truly did love Victoria. She gave me strength where I was once weak, sight from my blindness, the ability to make a decision where I was so much dependent. She taught me to see past what was in front of my naïve, ignorant eyes but what the intentions were; be skeptical of all. No one means you any good._

_I believe that is what baffles me about you Alice; I don’t see anything but good intentions with you. You seem to be what you say that you are. It is something I have never seen before._

_Alas I come to the part that I had been keeping from you my dear, Alice. You shared your secret with me, the abilities you have but I was too afraid to share my own. Alice, I see things behind my eyes as well. While you see someone’s future, I see their past._

_The first time I saw a vision of someone’s past was alarming, to say the least. I didn’t know what I was looking at as I watched a vision of Victoria drain human after human. I fell to my knees, dropping the limp body in my hands of some poor homeless man I chose to feed from. The scenes played in my mind one after the other; images of Victoria luring men and women to their painful death and leaving their body to never be found. It was like a graphic nightmare where I could feel the energy of Victoria, as well as the dying breath of her victims._

_“What is wrong with you now?” Victoria screeched in her high voice. I couldn’t answer, still consumed by images of her violent past. “Speak child,” she commanded through her teeth._

_“You killed them all; drank from them all, thousands of lives lost.” I don’t know why the sudden revelation shocked me. Was I not doing the very same thing over the weeks I had become a vampire? Wasn’t I just like Victoria?_

_She didn’t say anything for a little while, her eyes roaming over my body searching for something, an answer, or maybe to see if I was being truthful._

_“Did you just see that? Did you see what I would be doing?”_

_“No . . . I mean yes I did see but it was not what you would be doing, it was what you did. I think?” My mind rummaged through the images that were now my own memory._

_“How can you be so sure?” Victoria was walking closer to me as I sat on the ground trying to recover from my new found “talent.”_

_“I don’t know . . . I mean . . . it looked old. Their clothes, the cars . . . they weren’t like they are now.” I was terrified I didn’t know what Victoria was thinking or what she was going to do but my instincts were telling me to be aware._

_“Well, well, well; so your eyes aren’t the only thing that is wrong with you.”_

_“What? Wrong?”_

_“You think this is normal! Ha, you stupid little girl. No one, not even vampires, have the ability to see the past. You are just a useless freak. I can’t believe I am weighted down by you.”_

_Victoria turned and walked away, leaving me there alone and afraid to run after her. She had already thought me not to need anyone but in all honesty I did need her. I didn’t know what to expect in or out of this new life I was thrown into and while every other word from her was laced with disgust of me, Victoria did offer some guidance on where my feet were to move to next. I despised her and loved her in the same breath. That seemed to be the very background of every relationship I had known up until that point. I stayed with Victoria for five years after my change._

_We stumbled on two others like us; James and Laurent. James hardly spoke but he seemed to be completely taken by Victoria. They became inseparable. It was Laurent who told me that they were distinctively mates. One morning Victoria simply left with the two men, leaving me behind without as much as a word. I haven’t seen her since._

_After the vision of Victoria’s killing of hordes of people with her thirst I never drank from a human again. Victoria, Laurent and James berated me constantly of my choice to rather deal with the burn rather than take a life. That lasted for about a week before I attacked the first living thing I smelled, a squirrel. I drank only from small animals after that and that simply pissed Victoria off more. So it was bitter sweet when Victoria left; the feel of loneliness crept back into my mind quickly, recognizing it from the few memories of my days as a human, and yet at the same time I felt free. There would be no more unwarranted attacks from either of the women who created me: Victoria or my mother. There were no more silent conversations from the men I grew to know: James or my father. There was just me, my choices and a fresh start._

_I wondered for a long time, staying in the woods, out of the sight of humans. I fed on the small rodents of the forest, never thinking to try something larger until I met you. I am sad to tell you that I stole for the things I needed: clothes, notebooks, pens, and essentials like those. I still am not proud of what I had to do, but I had no other choice until I met a young man._

_I had been traveling, going nowhere, but moving nonetheless. I was moving west and had ended up in Illinois. One late afternoon I was swinging from the trees and was seen by a gentleman name Riley Biers._

_I immediately wanted to run away from him, not knowing how I would react to the smell of his blood after years of quenching my thirst with nothing but small animals, but surprisingly his scent did not burn my throat at all. I still wanted to run but something about him kept my feet planted. He was amazed by the way that I moved about the trees, of course not knowing my agility was a side effect of what I really was, but my gray eyes hid that from him. He had no reason to fear as he thought he simply stumbled on a lonely, shy girl. When I told him that I lived everywhere, and had no one, he took me to his employer, Prowler Brother’s Moving Stars Circus, telling them all about the things he had seen me do on the trees. Riley had gotten me my first job with the circus._

_I was able to stay with them for a little over a year. I didn’t know it then but I was not doing a good job covering my strangeness. I didn’t have a good reason why I never ate with the rest of the traveling family or why I was up before anyone else. They thought me cocky that I never rehearsed but I honestly didn’t think that it mattered and in return drew more attention to myself. I wasn’t acting very “human” and all was noticing. It also didn’t help that Riley was fast growing feelings for me which I did not return._

_One night I simply left after everyone had gone to sleep._

_I spent time alone again. I began to study what human’s did and the way they talked. I put away the money I had made while with the Prowler Brothers so that I never had to steal anything again. I spent more time amongst humans; sitting in diners writing just to be able to observe them. I had even trained myself to be able to drink and eat some foods just to keep up the charades. It was a hard lesson but a beneficial one. I knew hiding amongst the “freaks” was the best place for me as I was one just as well. I believe that I am more one than any of the abnormal, but beautiful people I had met through my travels._

_I bounced around every year or so from one preforming act to another until I met the Marchino Brothers and found a real friend in Leah and Carmen . . . and of course I met you. Meeting you seemed to be the height of my entire life. For the last 15 years of my life I spent as a lonely vampire, you took that all away with one day sitting amongst the trees in a New York forest._

_I don’t know what to do with my self now that I cannot look upon your beautiful face or hear your voice. So many times I have tried to leave since that night I ran away from one of the few good things I have known in my life and I have not gotten far. I am closer than you may believe or think. My body physically hurts as if my heart is bleeding trying to run. I can’t explain it. I have never know nanything like it._

_I don’t know what I want you to do with all of this information my dear, Alice, but I needed you to know it. I know I have lost you after I abandoned you but this calms the fire that has been consuming me since that night. I know that you have not been doing well either since I betrayed you but I know that you will get stronger. You will not be alone and the person who wins your heart will be the luckiest person alive. I envy them._

_I seal with my love and well wishes,_

_~Isabella_

~*oOo*~

Alice stared at the final page of the letter, unable to breath. She knew Isabella’s pain and reasons and yet she was still hurt. How much anger can you have for the person who simply didn’t know any better? Alice saw Isabella as stronger for surviving all that she had been through and yet she was still blind. Why couldn’t Isabella see that she was the person who won Alice’s heart? She was the lucky person she spoke of in her letter.

She was gifted. She saw just as Alice saw. Alice was furious that Isabella had spent so many years thinking that she was some freak, both as a human and a vampire. Granted Isabella’s eyes still were a mystery but she was far more beautiful than Alice could put into words. Maybe Alice’s anger wasn’t for Isabella, but for the truth of the horrible life she had lived both before and after her change. Isabella was surrounded by people who should have been teaching and protecting her but instead she got a father who abandoned her, a mother who blamed her, a sire that degraded her, and no real friends to speak of. There was really no wonder Isabella trusted no one and ran from love.

Despite it all, Alice didn’t want the scared girl any less than she did the day she confessed her feelings for her.

Alice still didn’t know if they could have a happy ending because it was not up to her. Isabella had to first see she deserved a happy ending before she could chase it. Alice could only hope that if Isabella ever saw the light, that it would lead her back to her arms.

Did that mean that Alice had to wait, be unhappy until the one who held her heart in their hands made a decision that would affect both of them? It hardly seemed fair but she knew nothing else to do. She thought to track Isabella, shake her until she got it in her head that they were mated, never to part and her days of being happy began with them together but Alice knew that no one can change unless they wanted to and Isabella’s letter didn’t mention a change. In fact, Isabella plainly put it that she didn’t know what she wanted to do.

Alice placed the pages of Isabella’s confession back into the envelop, rubbing her hands across the front of the black print. She placed the now treasured, piece of Isabella beneath her pillow. She turned to walk out of the room, looking back at her bed as if Isabella was lying there, rather than her printed words.

Alice didn’t want to be alone in that moment. Though Alice she had her family that loved her dearly, she was still lonely. Before Isabella, Alice didn’t mind being surrounded by so much love, it was almost inspirational, but now it hurts a little; knowing how it felt, being so close to it herself and having it ripped away. But she didn’t want to wallow in her room anymore and she didn’t want her family to worry about her. She put on her best smile and moved towards the sitting room where all of her family was gathered.

Her eyes wanted to water when she saw Esme curled in Carlisle’s side sitting, beside a snuggled Rosalie and Emmett. Edward and Jasper sat on the floor, arms wrapped around one another. It was romantic and sickening in the same breath.

Alice felt an increase in calm and courage.

“Tell Jasper to stop please, Edward,” Alice requested in her thoughts. She saw Edward give Jasper a sad shake of his head and instantly Alice’s numb feeling returned.

Everyone sat up from their relaxed possess of comfort from their significant other. Alice couldn’t bring herself to feel bad that they had all wanted to make her feel more comfortable around them, even if just for a little while.

Alice walked towards the couch, leaning Esme’s head on Carlisle’s shoulder, putting his left hand in Esme’s right. Alice scouted Rosalie closer to Emmett, leaning her back into her burly husband’s chest. She locked Edward and Jasper’s arms back around each other, knowing how much they always needed to touch each other. Alice snuggled in the space between Esme and Rosalie, laying her own head in Esme’s lap.

Esme ran her hands through her daughter’s hair wanting so badly to take away the small girls grief with each stroke. She didn’t know all of what Alice was going through, but her motherly instinct told her that just being there was helping.

Everyone went back to watching whatever was on the television as Alice closed her eyes, and allowed her families’ love to be a balm to her lonely heart.


	6. Just Breathe

What was done was done and there was no going back.

Isabella sat high above the tree, watching her sweet Alice. She could feel the struggle that was evident on Alice’s face. She couldn’t help but think that maybe Alice didn’t want to know the truth about her; maybe the truth didn’t matter, and Isabella’s haste to leave the fragile, beautiful vampire had finally sunk into Alice’s pretty little head. Isabella secretly hoped that it was true; that Alice had managed to let her go; found her way out of the despair and would go on to live for an eternity as a beautiful gift to the rest of the world. 

But Isabella knew that was furthest form the truth. She could still feel the calling deep in her body to go to Alice, to cement the love, devotion and desire that she felt for the angel. Isabella could still feel that thing that was keeping her there, making her unable to move farther from Alice than the forest in which they had enjoyed each other’s company. And the nervous, questioning look on Alice’s face told Isabella not that Alice was over her, or that the little fling they had meant nothing to her. Isabella thought maybe the look was because Alice was nervous to see if Isabella was going to confirm what was already thought: She wasn’t wanted by the wayward vampire. 

Isabella could only speculate. She sat patiently in her perch staring at the girl who she felt she owed so much more to than a heavy massive left secretly on a door step to be found. Isabella cried internal tears to the fact that she wasn’t strong enough for Alice. She wasn’t strong enough to face her that night when Alice confessed to her, she wasn’t strong enough to look the innocent, beautiful women in the eye and tell her she loved her more than she could possibly understand. She wasn’t enough for Alice and she felt that point was driven further home with each moment she waited in a tree only looking at her heart’s desire. 

It was simple: Isabella wasn’t strong enough to love anybody. 

Isabella’s legs dangled from the side of the large branch and she nervously bit her finger nails. It was weird trait to have as a vampire but it apparently was one of those things that followed her from her life as a human. In those days it was the silence that made her nervous. She found odd comfort in the screams of her mother, the slamming of doors, the whispered curses her mother would spew her way. When she could hear her mother than she knew where she was, and how to avoid her. But the silence bothered her. She didn’t know what to expect with silence. With silence extended to long around her every little thing made her nervous . . . the feel of air whipping her hair, the sudden squeak of a floor board, and most of all the sudden touch of her mother. So she would sit as still as possible, as far away in a corner surrounded by her physical and mental darkness, gnawing away at the nails and cuticles of her hand; waiting in fear.

Now her nerves were alive at the silence of the women she watched so far away as she eyed an envelope that sat haphazardly on her bed, at her side. Isabella knew this silence; this fear was her own fault, unlike when she was human. She heard Alice confess her love for her that day at the tight rope before she fled in fear. She could see the truth in Alice’s eyes and even now as she looked upon the woman who brought her life, she could see the worry that laced her beautiful face. 

But Isabella sat even still dwelling in her fear, chewing on her nails, because while silence was something to fear, fear had also become comfortable to her. Isabella knew fear; she was made aware of it at such a young age that it seemed to be her normal. She feared her father’s presence. She feared her mother’s touch and she feared Victoria’s abandonment. All things justified in the end because as feared her father didn’t want her, her mother did hurt her, and Victoria did leave her. Fear was healthy for Isabella; it was foretelling. Therefore in all of her years, both human and not so human, she trusted the fear she felt. She had no reason not to trust it now. 

Except for the presence of a heavy feeling that she didn’t want to trust it when it came to Alice. 

Silence was fear for Isabella and that was truer as she silently watched Alice stare down at a letter questioning a “Happily Ever After.” It seemed like an eternity passed as she watched Alice; watched her face morph from sadness to curiosity to anger and a myriad of other emotions. And as it pained her to look on, biting her nails, she still couldn’t pull herself to look away. But she wished she had, because then she would not have had to see her beautiful Alice in the arms of the blond haired man. 

Fired burned in her veins to see such a treacherous sight. The growl that immolated from her body was more animal than human, even an immortal human. It was a sound of pain and possession, anger and fault. She could blame no one but herself, her absence leaving Alice vulnerable to the touch of another. Isabella could feel her muscles tense below her concrete skin as if they were drawing on all of her power and strength. She felt as if the body she possessed was no longer her own. Somehow she could see herself in her mind’s eye. She watched her lip pull over her teeth, ready to bite the head off a certain blond man. She could taste the bitterness of the venom that coated her mouth; knowing the liquid would inflect more pain as she tore him limb from limb. Isabella could see the fine hairs on her body stand on end in frustration. Her eyes were smoldering into a dark swirling gray, like a thunderstorm threating to tear through with a vengeance. 

Who was this woman that was once her; once meek, shy, and mild but now resembling every essence of a killer as she was constructed to be? From inside her body, Isabella could understand the need to keep calm. Isabella tried to take deep breaths, but rather than calming her it was stoking the tension and fire in her muscle with each breath. She felt alien in her own mind as a primal instinct took over. But it was not until Isabella felt the anger perch itself from the branch, crouching cat-like against the large limb, the bark of the whole of the tree was brushing against the back of her naked calf muscles. Isabella had to be stronger than the need in her to correct the picture before her eyes, through the window of her sweet, Alice. 

The desire in her screamed back a declaration of passion of the beautiful woman that they had looked over for a week, the woman that was holding them captive in the town they had attempted to run from. Just then, somewhere deep in her, alongside her knowledge to keep calm, was the decision to act then and punish the wrongdoer. Isabella countered the response of her body, swinging from the tree, falling like a ton of bricks with the grace of a gazelle, soundlessly to the ground. But that was as far as the desire was able to take her. 

“No!” Isabella screamed into the thick of the forests as if she was not alone. 

She threw herself against the body of the tree she called home, desperately trying to contain herself. 

“Don’t.” She sneered to the Id that was easing into her place at the sight of the man with the love of her life. “She will hate you. Stop! Now!” She forced herself further against the tree locking her muscles. 

Gradually, she gained control of her actions but not without much damage to the tree. Her fingers had dug holes in the body in an attempt to stop herself. Her tennis shoes were dirty, covered in the loose dirt as her planted feet dug into the ground. Two trenches lain in wait from where her muscles pushed beyond the give of the soil, sinking her several inches into the earth. Though in control, her anger still loomed over her, barely contained. Only the thought that Alice would be disappointed seemed to bind it. It snapped and barred its teeth in the direction of the house as if the perpetrator was in reach. Isabella knew she had to get away, but fear for whatever it was that was affecting her made her more afraid to let go of the tree. She couldn’t count on her body to do as it was told. To herself she looked like a stranger and her behavior was evident of that. 

What would Alice think if she saw her this way? 

Though she wanted to claim what was hers - her life, her love, her Alice – She couldn’t bare to think how it would hurt Alice. Her body broke down in pain and confusion.

Still holding the tree as if it was all that could comfort her, Isabella slid to her knees looking to do anything that may stop her from doing the thing she would least regret. If she attacked this man that Alice obviously cared so much about, if Alice hated her for it, with it be what was needed to finally drive them apart, force Isabella’s ability to leave? 

The storm of emotions still brewed in the eyes of the woman inflicted with a broken heart. She didn’t know how much pains she was going to be able to continue to bare this way. Then the sound of leaves and sticks caught all of her sense. 

The call of the hunt.

Squeezing her eyes tightly, drawing on the taste of vengeance from her tongue to focus on the burn that was present in her throat, Isabella decided to chance moving. It had been a week since she last fed, distracted by the need to keep an eye on Alice at all time. She sprang into the forest behind her, working deliberately to control her body rather than the beast that was enamored with the idea of a fight with the culprit that had the audacity to touch what belonged to her. It was not without its difficulty to move away from her place just far enough out of Alice’s senses but close enough to see. But as the miles sprang up between her and her ravenous desire, the need to destroy was replaced with a feeling of destroyed. No longer was the anger fueling her, but the pain of leaving Alice and the need to sate her thirst conflicting in her. 

The run felt good in the muscles of her legs. She was so cramped in her perch, leaving her feeling bottled up, too contain. Just to push her limbs more, Isabella cartwheeled through the path of the trees and ended in a summer sault over a low hanging tree limp before falling lightly to the ball of her feet into a crouch. The anger in her long dead heart was far from gone, but redirected. The smell of herbivore was strong in the air. She could hear the thump of its heartbeat over the sound of the wind whistling through the leaves. Isabella spotted the beast that would soon meet its demise. She closed her eyes and let the burn of her throat tease her, as if she needed the motivation. She flexed her fingers at her side, soundlessly bouncing on the ball of her feet before she sprang into the air. She collided with the hard body of the animal, sending it and herself crashing to the ground. It was at the feel of the large antlers in her hands as she snapped the animal’s neck that Isabella realized she would be feasting on the sweet blood of a Moose. Isabella looked down onto her fresh kill as if it surprised her she was able to bring down such a large catch. Since the day her eyes had been open to the idea of a different hunt, Isabella had never looked back. 

Her hands where shaped into claws at her side as she crouched just over the large animal. The smell of it still hot blood no longer moving in its veins saturated the air even still after its death. Isabella sank to her knees before cutting open its throat with her bare teeth. Anger and frustration with a peculiar golden eyed, blond man, had left her mouth feeling dry. The hot liquid filled every bit of her as it pulsed into her body. Isabella lifted the beast, squeezing its middle as if to pump every ounce of the once life giving substance from the caucus. The thing that once gave him life was now extinguishing her fire, but only that which was trapped in her throat. 

The blood in her body put her nerves on even more alert, just in time to sense she was now being stalked as a meal as well. Isabella remained still over the body of her completed supper. The aroma of her moose was still in the air but it was mixing with something else; something more savory. 

A carnivore. 

Isabella closed her eyes, focusing on the sound of the heart beat nearby. She was able to drown out the loud whispers of her surrounding and focus on the hard drum of the bobcat that thought it had stumbled upon his own succulent delight. Isabella could sense its presence above her, and quietly awaited her chance to have a small but satisfying tussle with her next catch. 

Isabella’s body screamed for the predator to move. The fire in her muscles ready to release her deadly frustration burned her; she could feel the flames move from her throat through the rest of her body. Her hands curled at her side as talons would me, nails ready to tear and destroy. The bobcat took its precious time assessing Isabella’s vulnerability. Isabella was normally a patient individual, but her body called for more action and more adrenaline. She knew that the cat could offer more to her need than the moose who stood no chance. Deep inside, the voice that had made Isabella calm down and run from Alice’s window, feared that if the need to conquer and destroy was not sated in those woods that there was nothing that would be able to keep her from her true enemy.

Isabella heard the claws of the large cat brush the limb of the tree and she knew her moment was soon at hand. The hairs on the back of her neck stood on end, senses on full alert. The bobcat jumped from its perch. In slow motion, Isabella turned towards the falling feline, seeing its claws coming down on her first. Isabella threw her hands into the air as if to ward off the demented animal. She could feel the tickle of the steel like claws as they scraped across her cheek, connecting with her shirt, and ending its movement across her right forearm. Isabella caught the predator before its full weight could collide with her. With a twist of her body, Isabella sent the cat crashing into the antlers of the moose that had fed her only moments ago. A satisfying crack radiated the space. Isabella knew it was the sound of the animal’s spine breaking in multiple places. The predator was far from dead, but no longer fighting. 

Looking down at the one fierce animal, Isabella couldn’t help but think it now looked like a plain on regular Tabby house cat, albeit larger. The animal’s front legs bent before its body and the look of ferociousness of the large animal had slipped completely from its eyes. She rolled her head on her neck relishing in the adrenaline that pumped through the venom in her veins. The sound of the animal’s heartbeat had begun to slow. Isabella wanted to feel the satin of live blood as it coated her tongue and filled her stomach. She sank her teeth into the soft fur of the animal that still lay limply on the antlers of the moose. The low moan of the once fierce animal was far from threating. The blood of the bobcat was much fuller, richer even. Isabella laughed at herself in her head that the bobcat should have been her main course, and the sweet moose blood her dessert. Isabella continued to lavish at the blood that satisfied her until she felt sloshy and unable to drink another drop. 

It was the overwhelming feeling of gluttony that finally calmed Isabella from attacking. Wanting to keep the overly full filling for as long as possible, Isabella slowly trudged back to the tree that she had called refuge. She focused on the feel of the air as it whipped her tattered shirt across her body. Her mind was blank as she took the slow walk back to her tree. Isabella was content enough with that. She knew if she thought of anything it would be not of Alice, but of war and the pain that needed to be inflected on the man who could never be eradicated from her sight. 

When Isabella reached her perch, she looked at the mess she had made. The ground was completely destroyed where her feet had been. It was littered with piece of tree bark and bits of the tree where she all but squeezed the life from the plant. Her hands hovered over the marks she left with her fingers in the plant’s body. The scene was a graphic representation of her anger and Isabella didn’t like the sight of it. 

She began to climb her tree again, no longer able to ignore that voice in her head of the need to think about Alice. She was still overly full from her large kills. The anger in her was subdued but in its place was hurt. 

Isabella crossed her legs and arms as she sat on her regular post looking into Alice’s window. The room was empty and the letter remained on Alice’s bed. However, as Isabella looked long and hard at the envelope she could see the spit opened end. She prayed it meant that Alice had in fact read the message. She wished she could have watched Alice as she read it but her anger and frustration cost her that chance. 

Isabella had mixed feelings about the knowledge that Alice now had. The small vampire could destroy Isabella with words if she desired, and Isabella gave her the power to do so with her talk of her father, mother, and even Victoria. 

She looked through Alice’s window and onto a nonexistent spot on Alice’s white wall opposite the view. Isabella had planning to do. She resigned that if she could not leave Alice than she would have her for herself and that began with fighting for her. 

~xXx~

She had done it; she managed to spend the night in the presence of her family and their loving embraces and managed not to burst into flames from jealously and anger. 

Alice had waited for others to depart before she made the walk up the stairs into her empty room. Rosalie and Emmett left first, followed by Edward and Jasper. Alice figured she must have been doing much better controlling her thoughts and emotions as she watched the men head for their bedroom on the third floor rather than their hideout in the basement. Once her siblings had parted her presence she followed suit, leaving Carlisle and Esme cuddling alone on the couch. 

Everything looked dimmer to Alice. Though it wasn’t needed, she turned on the light switch on the wall. Glancing around her room she could see it was no longer a happy place, thought nothing about the room had changed. There were still stylish clothes in the closets, cameras and a computer on her desk, and pictures littering her walls. Alice looked at each piece of the photographic art in their various frames as she walked around the room. She could easily recall each day they were taken. She remembered the way the sun felt on her skin, the breeze blew her hair, or the rain tattered at her clothes. As she looked over every rectangle piece on her wall she could recollect it all but what she realized now, what she didn’t know or could understand then, was that she wasn’t whole when she took those pictures. 

Alice couldn’t help but wonder if the red would have been brighter in the picture if she seen it through her loved laced eyes? Would the stillness be clearer? Would the picture finally have the perfect element that she had aimed for that day but always felt that she lacked; as if it was not possible to be caught on camera. It was an essence that was ghost-like; a mist that was too thin to touch. And as Alice walked around that room looking at the dozens of images she had captured she could see and feel that thing was sorely lacking in them all . . . except for one. 

Alice continued the path around her room until she faced the white and steel picture frame of a peculiar girl. Alice slowly raised her hand to touch the polished rectangle. Her hand lingered over the picture of the loving tree with the tortured angel in the middle. Nothing in her could bring herself to touch the picture. She placed her hand on the window besides where she was standing to steady her shaking knees. She moved to sit at that window when the emotions overcame her at the thought of her Isabella. 

Alice leaned against the window seal, clenching the pillows that rested there. From the corner of her eyes she could still see the silhouette of the day that changed her life. She didn’t need to see that picture to remember; its image was forever burned in her mind alongside the recollection of Isabella’s taste, feel, smell, and sound of her voice. All Alice could do was look out of her window, into the nearby trees, and watched as time passed her by. She realized she wasn’t as comatose as she was the day Isabella had ran from her, but she couldn’t help but realized that every minute they weren’t together Alice felt herself slowly slipping back there. In the reflection of the mirror surface of the glass Alice could see the heavy white envelop of the message that was left for her. Though now she knew what the words were, its presence wasn’t any less threatening. Where she once wondered what the letter could hold, now she wondered how she was supposed to answer the question. 

How was she supposed to let Isabella know that the happily ever after wasn’t the fairy tale story that she couldn’t seem to write in her spiral note books? How was Alice supposed to convey that the love story of the ages hadn’t been written because they had yet to live it together? How could Alice express that Jacqueline didn’t have to drive off alone, but her old rusty convertible could seat two? 

Alice pulled her eyes away from the questions that sat unanswered in the center of her bed and looked back into the trees that called to her. 

~xXx~

It had seemed like forever since she packed her belongings into her designer messenger bag and tossed it over her shoulder. Alice looked into the door size mirror at her jeans, t-shirt, and tennis shoes. The sun had beamed through her window and bounced off the mirror giving her a glow that she would have normally thought to be beautiful. Before she would have made some mental joke about how she was literally lighting up the room with the fraction of the sun on her diamond coated skin. But she wasn’t the same girl she was before love and heartbreak touched her life. Now as Alice looked into the mirror and the look of the red and blue fractions of her skin, she couldn’t help but wonder if it was for this reason she was not with Isabella. 

If they didn’t have this . . . illness . . . this monster trait about them, could Isabella love easier? If they were human, could they be together or would they still face such difficulty? 

For Alice, this was as good of a reason as anything else. Just as irrelevant and lacking of importance. An idea to which all Alice could do was sigh.

Alice continued to stare at herself with indifference, as if she didn’t recognize herself anymore. She moved the wrinkles from her shirt for the hundreds time, readjusting her jacket and running her hands through her hair again and again; over and over. The glass that was once her magic mirror, the sun that was once her prized spotlight, now seemed to betray her. Giving up on trying to find the life in her, Alice made her way down the stairs. 

She walked passed Edward and Jasper who stop talking and watched her walk out of the house. She made it past Carlisle and Esme who occupied their favorite seat on the back lawn terrace. Esme sat up in her seat to watch Alice closely. Esme couldn’t help but notice the bag on Alice shoulder and where that meant Alice was going. Her heart broke thinking of the last time she saw Alice make such a journey into solitude; returning broken and shattered. 

As Alice walked further into the yard she could feel more eyes on her. Alice looked up into the nearby window to see Rosalie looking down at her. She could see the pain in Rosalie’s eyes as she pressed her hand on the glass as if she was reaching out to her little sister. Alice could see the calling in Rosalie’s eyes; begging her not to go. But Alice was determined to get away.

It had been two weeks since Isabella ran from Alice; a week since Alice had returned from speaking with Leah and Carmen to find a message waiting on her from Isabella. Alice hadn’t dared to go outside since that day. She wasn’t catatonic like she had been at Isabella’s flee from her but she was able to keep up enough of a façade of happiness to appease her family, though they didn’t buy it. They watched as Alice’s eyes grew darker from the need to hunt but Alice continued to ignore the fire in her throat in the attempt to protect her still fragile sense of being. When she wasn’t pretending all was well in front of her family, she sat statue like in her window seat wishing on the few stars that would grace her every night. It seemed there were fewer and fewer of them for her to wish on with each wish she made. Alice began to wonder if her wishes for a forever lost love had drove them away; fleeing from the girl they could not grant this one wish to, therefore they worried her not with their appearance. Alice’s room had become her dwelling and now it was time for her to break out. 

Alice walked closer and closer to the tree line that she normally ran to. With each step it seemed to move further away from her. Her breath caught in her throat, fanning the fires within. Her hands clenched as she rung the strap of her bag with both hands, threating to tear the threaded material. When she finally made it just two steps from the shadows of the forest her body froze. No further could she go. Alice stood shocked, confused, and frustrated. She needed to run. She needed to escape from her family’s worried looks and fake smiles; from the betrayal of her mirror and the claustrophobic hole that was her room. She needed to hunt and most importantly she needed to write. 

Her brain was brimming with words that plagued her and when she dared to sit to put them on paper they would escape her, only to come roaring back when she had given up on ever being able to capture them. She concluded it was the walls; they weren’t green and brown enough. She figured it was her bed; it wasn’t hard enough and lacked the smell of damp earth. She blamed the vastness of her room; it wasn’t the twisted, overgrowing, life of bushes and vines. She needed these things to calm her; to move her to write. But as she stood just a yard away from all that she needed for freedom she couldn’t do it. 

Alice fell to the ground, her legs folded beneath her. Her breath pouring out of her body in short spurts as if she needed the ability to breathe at all. Panic swallowed her whole, as she frantically tugged at her hair trying to wrap her mind around the idea of needing to leave and yet not being able to go. Tears that could never be burned her eyes. The sound of a door knob turning and moving its hinges, the brush of leather on concrete, and the crunch of blades of grass pulled Alice from the tunneling hole that was opening in front of her eyes. Her family was there, watching her, waiting on her to fall so they could catch her again. Her nose caught the scent of Jasper and as the crunch of grass continued to boom loudly in her ear she knew he was approaching her slowly. She couldn’t fall apart this time. She couldn’t do that to them again. 

Alice moved her legs from beneath her, changing to sit Indian style in the very spot that held her. Alice slowly removed her messenger bag that sat at her side, still hung over her shoulders. She needed to give them the picture of control and calm so that they could leave her be, to deal with the pain she was now pushing down only for their sake. 

Alice pulled out her notebook and pen; exaggerating her movement to ensure they could see her. If no one else saw her actions, Edward would hear her thoughts a she continued to chant “I have to write,” in her mind. Rosalie will tell them Alice extracted her notebook and pen and they would all hear the scrapping of metal and ink on the cotton of the paper. Alice didn’t know if anything was going to come out but she had to try; even if only for the sake of her family. 

The sound in the grass behind Alice stopped before it began again, but this time it was Edward joining Jasper. Silence surrounded Alice again before twin steps retreated from her. Alice knew Edward and Jasper were giving her space again and returning to the house. But Alice still was not alone as she felt the eyes of Carlisle and Esme behind her and Rosalie just above. But Alice couldn’t be concern with these things. 

One name written across the perfect, white paper opened the flood gates of words . . . “Isabella.”

Alice knew the pen was moving in her hand across the pages. She could feel the slight friction of the pen’s movements, but Alice had not looked down. In her mind she recounted every moment of her time she had spent with Isabella. She retold herself Isabella’s stories and fantasied of all the things that could have happened after each of those passionate kisses. Her mined filled with the beauty of Isabella as she danced across the tight rope; performing only for Alice. But above all else Alice thought on the pain she felt at every hurtful self-deprecating word Isabella said about herself. Her emotions reared at the sadness, pain, anger, and loneliness of Isabella from her childhood all the way through her second chance at life. Alice was filled with her own pain of rejection and heartbreak when her mate ran away from her before they ever really had a chance. It was at these feeling that the pen trembled in her hand, pressing harder into soft paper, threating to break through. It all poured out of Alice like a geyser of affliction. 

And then it was gone. 

Alice shook her head as if in a daze, unaware of where she was or what she had done. As she looked around her she found herself seated in darkness; only slithers of dim moonlight in a too far distance lighting the large backyard and even its light was enough to see. Alice looked down at the pages of her notebook only to see she had filled every page with her perfect script. Every page but the last of the seventy sheet book was etched with words in black ink.  
Flipping through the book Alice was met with words like “lavender” and “angelic,” “grace” and “fierce,” and “flowing hair” and “stormy eyes.” She had narrated every thought of her time with Isabella in a state of unawareness. 

But as Alice continued to flip through the pages of the notebook she stumbled on what could only be a letter to Isabella. Unaware of any of her writing but completely taken back by these pages blatantly for Isabella to see, Alice was shocked and amazed. 

What good would a letter that someone would never read do? 

Alice looked around her. In the seat that was once occupied by Esme and Carlisle now only Emmett sat; his arms crossed and looking at Alice as with an interest that Alice had only seen on Emmett’s face on two occasions: when he was watching sports . . . or watching over Rosalie. 

Alice slowly turned back around to face the trees, the place that had denied her entrance and yet awoke an emotional monster deep within her. She looked up into the sky, seeing the stars she would have seen from her window seat. There was even fewer of the sparkling entities on this night. 

Alice closed her eyes and made her wish.

When she opened her eyes there was yet again one less star.


	7. Just See

Alice continued to search the night sky for the allusive star she wished upon. But no matter how much her perfect sight looked over the dark blue hood above her she could not find it anywhere. 

Alice didn’t know how late it had gotten, and she didn’t really care. She wanted still to be amongst her trees and the fact she could only get so close angered her; furious with herself and the situation. She didn’t know how long she was going to be able to keep things together for appearances sake. She didn’t think she was really fooling anybody, not even herself. Her sleepless nights were filled with the thoughts of steel gray, immortal eyes that ran from her. Now looking into the sky she couldn’t help but think that Isabella’s eyes were much like the stars above her; priceless spots, shining brightly and holding secrets Alice would never know. And just like Isabella, Alice was so far away from being able to touch them. At the thought, her hand stretched above her, as if to test the notion, and as expected she failed. The stars and Isabella shared something else: they both ran from Alice when she let her heart speak to them. She felt she really should have hated them both, the stars and Isabella, but she couldn’t pull herself to hate beauty, or its place in the world. 

But Alice tried not to be all negative. In the corner of her heart she thought her disappearing stars could be working. Maybe the soldiers of the sky were running off with their mission in hand desperately trying to hand them off to the one who could make the wishes so. Maybe something was blocking the answer from coming back to Alice or in the fabric of time the wish was already granted and Alice just hadn’t gotten there yet. She just hadn’t seen it. 

Alice would have given anything to “see’ it. To see a future was Isabella. If she could reach deep into the gift she was reborn with to see just enough to inspire her, she could hold on a little while longer. But no matter how often she tried, no matter how hard she concentrated on the memory of Isabella’s scent, touch, taste, or the sound of her voice, Alice couldn’t conjure up a future for the allusive women. Even as she tried to search her own future she would come up blank. The only thing Alice would see would be an image of her smiling. So, maybe she would make it out of the mess in one piece, but she would still be alone. As Alice thought about it she realized that it wasn’t a future that she wanted; even if in the premonition she looked happy. 

Lost in her thoughts of soldiering stars and distant, vacant eyes Alice didn’t notice when her brother had come and sat beside her. When his scent surrounded her she knew she could do nothing to avoid the talk that he wanted to have. Alice had to admit, she was shocked that it was this one of her siblings who would try to breach her, but then again he was always full of surprises. 

Emmett was such a large man that the description “cuddly” was laughable. The six foot, five inch man sat beside Alice, with his legs crossed underneath him. His wide shoulders and large body made Alice look like a rag toll beside him. Alice could see that the gold of his eyes had faded away. Emmett smiled down at his small sister, not saying a word. He picked at the grass in front of him, pulverizing the blades into sticky mush as he ground them between his thumb and index finger. Occasionally, he would look up into the night sky when Alice did or stare out into the shadows of the trees in front of them as did Alice, but he did not speak. 

Alice didn’t know why sitting in the shadows of Emmett’s broad shoulders made her feel better. The lightness of the moment made her think Jasper must have been somewhere nearby, feeding her a bit of contentment or happiness, but as she looked across the yard on all sides from her seat she could not sense him, nor see him anywhere. The light feeling was genuine, all hers and likely at Emmett’s doing. Alice concluded that it was that feeling of comfort that freed her to finally speak. 

“She was very beautiful,” Alice said. “She is beautiful,” she corrected.

Emmett didn’t say anything. 

“She has very rich brown hair that she always wears in a ponytail of some sort. I don’t think she owns a pair of curling irons but the ends of her hair is always curly as they sit against her shoulder or fall into her face. I think the wind kisses it for her, with all of her flipping and tumbling she does. She’s very agile. She can flip and turn and glide and hang better than any human of course but even better than most vampires I’ve see. You should see her leap from a tree,” Alice snickered, “she falls on the balls of her feet like a feather landing on the top of a pond; effortless, graceful, and gentle.”   
Alice dropped a blade of grass from her hands to demonstrate her point, but even the sound of the grass falling onto the peaks of its remaining rooted friends was too abrupt to represent Isabella. 

Emmett looked down at his sister, intently listening to her words, but not interrupting her. 

“Her eyes are like frosted glass; gray, steel, almost translucent. They change just like ours do when she drinks. Oh! Can you believe she is a vegetarian,” Alice laughed looking up into Emmett’s face. 

Emmett was both shocked and happy to hear that his baby sister was not out gallivanting around with some human blood sucker. 

“Well, when I first met her she fed on squirrels and rabbits, but I thought her how to hunt bigger game,” Alice said proudly pointing her finger at her chest. “She is even more beautiful when she hunts; more graceful, animalistic, vivacious; mouthwatering even.” 

Alice’s words trailed away; her mind returning to the first day Isabella caught a game bigger than Thumper. She could still taste the rustic blood that ran from Isabella’s lip when she dared to kiss her, the look of her tattered and stained shirt sticking to her porcelain white skin, and the swarm of new gray surrounding Isabella’s eyes. It all flashed through her memory like an erotic slide show. 

Alice turned around to see a smirk on Emmett’s face; the kind he only made when he was making a dirty joke at their siblings and parent’s expense.

“I don’t need Edward or Jasper’s power to know where your mind just went little sister,” Emmett said. 

If she could have, surely Alice would have blushed. Dropping her head to hide her face from her brother she waited for the moment of embarrassment to pass. 

“But as beautiful as her eyes are, they are also empty,” Alice said taking a deep breath and looking back out into the darkness of the trees. “There was nothing there. No life before her change; no happiness or peace afterwards. They were just unnatural eyes belonging to a woman who could never love me.” 

“Al,” Emmett began. 

“I told her. I couldn’t help it really. I just felt this uncontrollable desire to always be with her; to get to her, to stay with her, and to protect her. I couldn’t think straight when we were apart. Those days were difficult but,” Alice faced her brother who looked down on her with concern etched in his forehead, “nothing like how I feel right now. I’m so hollow, like I’ve never been right before. I feel as if I have never seen a sky before,” Alice pointed to her retreating stars, “or sat in the grass. How did I know how to live without her? All this time I thought I was alive, but I wasn’t. I was just here. She is my mate, Emmett,” Alice said looking back into his eyes. “I knew that it seems from the very beginning, but maybe I was fooling myself. Maybe we were never anything but two of a kind bumping into each other.” 

Emmett felt he should have said something to his pained sister, but there was nothing to say. He understood the feeling Alice spoke of so passionately. He felt it the moment he looked into his angel’s eyes. Rosalie saved him and had been saving him every single day since. It was almost painful and unnatural the way he loved Rosalie. There was a burning desire to do, go, and be whatever she needed. He saw the same thing in the eyes of Edward and Jasper, and Carlisle and Esme. They would all burn the world to the ground if their mate ever thought it was what they wanted or needed. He couldn’t imagine what his world would be like if he ever lost his Rosalie. He didn’t think he would survive long after such love lost. Yet, despite its control and weight it was a feeling Emmett knew he wouldn’t trade for anything in the world; it was something that he so desperately wanted for Alice for so long. But as he sat and listened to his sister speak of heartbreak he wished that maybe he hadn’t wished so hard. 

“Oh, but she has such a brilliant mind,” Alice began again, praising the woman who had broken her heart. “She writes these stories and journals that are so deep, dark and profound. I could listen to her read and talk for hours . . . and I did. So much time we spent in each other’s arms in those trees,” Alice said pointing into the dark forest. 

Emmett understood Alice’s escapes; desperately wanting to ask how long this had been going on. But he didn’t; wanting Alice to tell her story in her own time. 

“She’s as a dark as her stories are. I know that now, and I understand why. If only,” Alice let out a loud sigh, “if only she had let me be her light.”

“I don’t know rather to be happy or sad for you, Alice,” Emmett met Alice’s questioning stare. “I’m sad that you lost someone you cared so much about, someone you were so close to having that thing that the rest of us share . . . but at the same time I’m happy you got to experience it. Alice, you have to understand so few people do.”

Alice looked into Emmett’s face wondering how he could say such a thing. Emmett could see the confusion in her dark thirsty eyes. 

“When I was human I thought something was seriously wrong with me.” 

Alice interrupted Emmett with a snicker, the first genuine laugh she had made in such a long time.

“Not like that!” Emmett said, throwing blades of grass at his sister. It warmed him inside that he could be the one to finally make her smile. 

“I was finishing school and ready to accept my role as a man in this world. Above all other things I wanted to have a family. But how could I start a family when not a girl in all of Tennessee wanted to be with me.” 

Alice found it hard to believe Emmett wasn’t breaking hearts left and right in his days as a warm blooded young man. 

“All of my friends had girlfriends. All of the neighbor’s daughters were talking of marriage; everybody except for me. I didn’t let it get to me at first, but as I began to get older I figured that I was supposed to be alone. It broke my heart to think I wouldn’t be given my Mamma the grandbabies that I knew she wanted so badly. Trust me; she didn’t hesitate to remind us McCartys of our obligation to reproduce.” 

“I tried to date the girls in my little town, but none of them really caught my eye. They didn’t seem like the family making type, I guess. But then they would start dating someone else and prove me wrong. I had settled on just being alone. But fate knew that my time was coming. How was I supposed to know that the love of my life was waiting on me on the other side of a Black Bear’s paw?” Emmett curled his fingers into claws and growled playfully at Alice, making her laugh again. 

“So what are you telling me, Emmett?” 

“I’m saying everyone’s happily ever after doesn’t happen in the easiest of ways. Maybe to get there you have to be willing to fight and its damn sure goin’ to hurt, but your angel will be waitin’ on the other side.” 

Emmett and Alice sat there in silence. Alice looked into Emmett’s eyes and saw a wisdom she didn’t know could be hidden behind his superficial exterior of muscles and internal wall of jokes and sexual innuendos.

Looking back into the deep of the forest Alice said to Emmett, “You know I almost ran after her, I was going to go fight for her. It was after I snapped out of my crazy state,” Alice waved her hands around her head. “I was about to pack a bag, and just go in hopes my heart--or this feeling that I still can’t explain--would lead me to her.” 

“Okay, look now, don’t make me chain you to your bed,” Emmett joked. 

Alice didn’t say anything else, only offering a sad smile to her brother.   
Time continued to pass around the siblings. The night breeze whipped through Alice’s hair, causing it to fall into her eyes. Alice’s mind thought over Emmett’s words over and over. She was still willing to fight for Isabella, but she couldn’t help but think that she had waited too late. Alice was no tracker and she knew Isabella was long gone. Maybe if she could get a vision of the woman she would know where to go. Maybe in a diner in some other remote city, Alice could be there waiting for Isabella. Maybe she could be sitting in the crowd of the next big circus act watching her ballerina dance for her. And when the show was over she would approach her and give Isabella her much deserved standing ovation, taking Isabella in her arms and carrying her away with love and devotion. 

But she couldn’t see Isabella and she didn’t know where the woman had gone. All Alice had was a trail she was sure had completely faded, and a tree where all the magic began. Alice looked down at the notebook that occupied her lap, flipping to the end; to the letter that was without question for Isabella. Emmett watched as Alice tore each sheet out of the binding one by one. When she was done she held a letter only for one person’s eyes. Alice folded the multiple sheets of paper, placed the notebook back into her bag and stood. 

“Thank you, Em.” 

“Anytime,” Emmett said looking suspiciously at Alice. He quickly stood to his feet. Just as Alice took a step towards the dark, shadows of the lining trees he grabbed her by the arm. 

“Whoa! Lil’ sister, where are you going?” 

Alice looked down at the pages in her hands and back to Emmett, “I have to deliver a letter that may never be read.” 

“Alice, no! I’m not about to let you go looking for this woman. I understand she means the world to you, but do you honestly expect me to let you leave after what you just told me?” 

Alice yanked her arm from Emmett’s grasp.

“Let me leave? Exactly who is going to stop me?” Alice growled. 

Emmett stepped back from his sister. The last thing he wanted was to anger or fight her, but the protector in him could not let her run away from her family for some dark, flaky girl he didn’t know. 

“I’m going to do what I have to do. I have to accept certain things and I will do them my own way. My chance is lost, Em. There is no angel waiting for me on the other side of my healed wounds like you had. I lost her, forever!” 

Alice let the truth and severity of her words fall around her and Emmett. The scares on her long dead heart sizzled alive at speaking the words she had been feeling for so long. 

“I am coming back, but if you try to stop me again I will run into those trees and never look back.” 

Emmett looked at his sister and saw nothing but truth in her threat. As much as he couldn’t let her leave he couldn’t take the chance of her running away from the family all because he just wouldn’t let her go. Esme would be crushed and the entire family would scour the world in vain looking for her; always missing her thanks to her ability to see their next move. So with defeat he backed away from the determined woman. 

Alice walked backwards into the trees until she was completely encompassed in their shadows. She looked back at Emmett, struck by the weight of her own words. She knew her family, especially Emmett, only wanted to protect her. She didn’t want to hurt them but she couldn’t say without any certainty that if leaving them meant she could be with Isabella, that she wouldn’t take that opportunity. 

Turning into the trees, Alice began the walk that she had taken so many times before. 

~*~oOo~*~

Determination can break down any barrier; including emotional walls. It was not until Alice stood before the tree that had managed to become the focal point of her and Isabella’s love that she realized she had made it into the forest. The emotional weights that had stopped her earlier that afternoon seemed to break away with the decision Alice had made. 

She needed, even if only in spirit and theory, to speak to Isabella again. To Alice that could only happen in one place. With the same determination that broke through her imaginary block, and the agility of her nature, Alice climbed the next obstacle to reach her home away from home.

Alice tucked the folded message in the nick of their treasured branch. Alice stayed there in her heavenly nest staring at the folded pages stiffly leaning against the tree. The next wind could have blown her thoughts away; the message could be carried away by the tree dwelling creatures of the forest, but in that moment none of those possibilities mattered. All that mattered was that there was a possibility that Isabella would find it. 

The hope was that Isabella would find it, read it, understand it, and come running to Alice, declaring love and devotion. All things would be right in the world and the two could go off to live an eternal happily ever after. Alice snickered into the fold of her arms at her harlequin romance reunion. She couldn’t help but think that maybe she had in fact gone crazy in the two week since she had last touched her mate. But if she was crazy then she would stay that way because that was what love was. 

Real love is sometimes unyielding and chaotic. Love is fighting for impossibilities and things with the slimmest probability. Love is never giving up on things just because they didn’t play out like fantasy and fairytales. Love could be dangerous; making you run into pitch black forest in the late of the night to deliver a piece of paper that was just as unlikely to be read as it was that the two hearts would be rejoined. Love was far from easy. If love were a career it would be one of vast difficulty; like a blacksmith, forging away at molten liquid trying to make a solid; polished and useful. Maybe it would be the gardener; taking itty bitty seeds and toiling in the bake of the sun until blossoms of color arouse. Or maybe love was the tight rope walker; balancing a thin line of glory and death, trying to wow someone who looks on not knowing if they are hoping for your success or anticipating you fall. 

Alice and Isabella’s love was much like that tight rope walker, and just like Isabella’s performance there was no net below them to catch them. If they fell there would be no recovery for either one. 

Despite the difficulty to make it there Alice felt at peace for a time. Her proximity to a once treasured place of her and Isabella was calming her. It was as if Isabella was close enough for her to touch. 

“It feels so much like you are here,” Alice spoke to the spirit of Isabella that sat beside her in that tree. 

“I don’t know where you are my love, my beautiful Isabella, but my prayer is that you are okay. I think about you often; things never quite the same since you left. I don’t know if you will ever get this letter,” Alice ran her hands across the face of the paper, “but I hope that you do. I tried to be as honest with you as you were with me.” 

Silence surrounded Alice again. Maybe it was her presence but even the creatures of the night, the predators, were silent. The wind was as still as Alice’s long dead and now broken heart. 

“If you never find my letter,” Alice began again, “and I should never see your face again . . . well both would be a travesty, but know one thing,” Alice looked to her stars, “I will always love you and despite it all I have never stopped.” 

Alice stood up right on the branch looking back down at her letter, prepared to jump and begin her journey home, but the rightness of the moment compelled her. Reaching into her bag she removed her camera. The picture featured nothing more than the position of the letter. The soft script “It Begins With Us,” faced the camera. The camera clicked just as the wind bent the upper right edge of the paper away from the tree. The tree snuggled the letter securely in its grasp as if it was the lost lover the letter called out to. 

Alice didn’t know if she would ever be able to return to that tree, that place that was undoubtedly them. It seemed wrong for her to be there alone, but it also felt painful. It was their tree and only they should be there together.   
The walk back to the house was slow and less painful. Alice broke through the tree line just before the sun rose. Alice felt a sense of relief. She had managed to get every thought of Isabella onto paper. She had managed to break through the invisible wall that was keeping her out of her forest. She had managed, even if only by spirit, to be close to Isabella. 

Her emotional out pour took the last of her strength from her. She gave into her thirst on her trail back home, immediately adding the golden color to her eyes. As she crossed back into the Cullen’s territory, there in the grass, exactly where she had left him, Alice found Emmett sitting, looking directly into the forest. 

“Emmett, why,” she began to say. 

“You had until sun up to get back or I was coming in after you, Alice,” Emmett said looking into Alice’s face. 

“I was going to invite you to go hunt with me, and Rosalie, but I see you have already taken care of that,” Emmett continued. He stood from his seat in the grass, dusting off his denim. “It’s a good thing we can handle so much or else my ass would be throbbing right now,” he added. 

Alice couldn’t help but giggle another genuine laugh she had since it all began. Hearing her tinker bell laugh brightened Emmett’s morning.   
Wrapping his arm around the shoulders of the petite and much shorter woman, Emmett guided Alice back to the house. He vowed to make her laugh again if it was the last thing he did. 

~*~oOo~*~

Isabella had watched Alice for the better part of the day. She looked on through Alice’s window watching her prepare to leave, though she was sure to look away when appropriate. When Isabella watched Alice crash to the ground as if she had been obstructed from going into the lining trees Isabella was afraid something else was wrong. Her body screamed at her to put away the foolishness and go to her, but just as fast as the anguish appeared on Alice’s face, it was gone. In the next moment Isabella returned to the idea that she was not ready to go to Alice. 

For the rest of the day she watched as Alice sat in the edge of her yard writing. Isabella could not see what it was that Alice was looking at but from the distance in the shadow of the trees she thought that maybe Alice saw her. Isabella sat very still in the distance waiting on Alice to come to her, angry tone and fighting hands, but that never came. In fact Alice never moved even as darkness surrounded her. As Alice continued to stare into oblivion and write, Isabella continued to only watch. 

Watching became difficult when the burly, curly haired man joined Alice in the grass. The only thing that kept Isabella in check was that the man didn’t touch Alice the way the blond haired man had. Who was this man? What was he to her Alice? But despite the turmoil Isabella maintained her position; watching. 

As she sat watching her beautiful creature and her companion she was struck by an image of the man’s past. The scene was decades old from the look of the cloth he wore. Isabella could tell he was badly injured, lying in the ground barely alive. The blood pulled around his body; so strong Isabella’s throat burned. Isabella watched as the man was carried away by a woman, a blond haired woman. Isabella recognized the woman she saw hovering over Alice’s body those many nights ago. Then there was that scourging pain; that fire that she recalled from her own past; he was being turned into a vampire but unlike any other recollection she had experiences, this man was happy when he awoke. Isabella knew it was because of the women that sat at his side, holding his hand. She looked at him the way she looked at Alice. She could feel their love between them and suddenly she felt like she was a trespasser in her own vision; this memory of the man’s past. And so Isabella knew this man was the blond haired woman’s mate. Isabella was baffled by the existence of so much love that surrounded Alice. 

When Alice went into the woods Isabella nearly lost her to the overcrowding trees and vines. So far behind the fast moving woman Isabella could only rely on the scent Alice left behind that she eventually found. Isabella was surprised to find they had stopped in the spot they had claimed as their own. Isabella froze when she heard Alice began to speak and panic when she heard her name. 

“It feels so much like you are here,” Isabella heard Alice say. 

How could Alice know such a thing? It was then Isabella accepted the fact that Alice felt what she felt: an un-caning presence of each other that surpassed that of some vampire skill. Their souls called to each other; always aware of the other. It was a thought that sadden Isabella, because if they were so connected, what would ever happen of her Alice if she never gathered the courage to go to her? 

Isabella sat back in her hiding spot listening to the words that sounded as a whisper falling from the lips of her Alice. Her anxiety only increased when she heard that Alice had left a letter for her. She was anxious to know what it could say but she held herself together, waiting for Alice to leave before going to their tree to retrieve it. 

Isabella bathed in the newly fresh scent that lingered on behind Alice. The scent saturated the paper that Isabella held in her hand. Removing the folded sheets from its resting place, Isabella waved the massive before her face to drink in the essence of Alice. Alice’s scent was a balm to her achy heart and empty spirit. Isabella could not handle any more. As she sat and watched Alice she neglected to see what the absence was doing to her. 

Exasperated and exhausted the best way a vampire could be Isabella could delay her agony no longer before unfolding the pages to read the words an angel dropped for her. 

~*~oOo~*~

Isabella,

How do I, in any other way, tell you the words I’ve told you so many times before? How do I convince you to feel freely what it is that I hope I see in you?

Happily Ever After is waiting on you to stop running, Isabella. But I did not write this to blame you. Thank you for taking the time to explain your past and present to me. What I am asking now is that you allow me to be that change in your future.

Have you ever had a moment of pure joy and utter despair simultaneously? If you have not experienced such a thing, it can be a bit uncomfortable, confusing, and disjointing to say the least. If I had to describe such a feeling I probably could not properly. . . Maybe it is like feeding on a human (yes, Isabella, I am not as innocent as you think me to be): The satisfaction of dousing the burning fire in you combined with the knowledge that you took the life of a person who didn’t deserve it, who could have had a family, who could have been happy. I imagined you felt that tremendous weight not only during your own feeding but also witnessing Victoria’s hordes of murders the first time you saw her in your vision.

What a remarkable gift to have and I hate that your first use of it was to see something so treacherous. What I am trying to say is receiving your letter made me feel that very uncomfortable way. I’m sorry . . . I am getting a head of myself. I will take a lead from you and start at the beginning . . . or as close to the beginning as I possibly can.

You see, Isabella, I remember nothing of my days as a human. What I know of those days I learned after I became what we are, after meeting my family. So the Cullens are my beginning.

I met Carlisle, Esme, Edward, Rosalie, and Emmett in 1950; after thirty years of being alone. I saw them in a vision of myself and waited for the right time to go to them. It was also through my vision that I learned how to be a vegetarian. I was not always successful; having more slips than success in the beginning, but once I felt like I had acquired a substantial grounding on the diet I sought them out in the home I had seen in my vision. 

See, my gift isn’t always bad. If it had not been for that glimpse into my future who knows where I would be, really. 

After I had been with the Cullens for about five years, Jasper joined us. Jasper is Edward’s mate; as Rosalie is to Emmett and Carlisle is to Esme. See Isabella I am surrounded by love . . . but I will get back to that later. As we all began to get to know Jasper, of his past both human and vampire, I realize I was the only one of my family who did not know where they had come from. So I began to look into who I was.

I started looking for myself in the city I was in when I woke up literally a changed woman. From a newspaper clipping I learned I was born in 1901 in Biloxi, Mississippi. Using the names of the parents listed in that article I discovered I had a sister name Cynthia who was nine years younger than me . . . and apparently I died in 1919 at the age of 18. If that last part sounds a little off to you than you would be correct. 

It took much searching but I discovered that the Brandons, my sir name, had a daughter who was crazy and was shipped off to an asylum. They informed the world that she was dead rather than face the shame. That girl was me apparently. I located some old and very horribly kept records of said asylum to learn that a Mary Alice Brandon was admitted in 1919. What the records did not say was what happened to her. The asylum was shut down in the 1940s and all residents were transferred to other facilities but there is no mention of where Mary Alice Brandon was sent. And it is from there the rest of my history is non-existent. I can only confirm my findings with the memory that when I awoke in a ditch one day I was wearing a hospital gown and no shoes. I do not know how I became a vampire or if there was a reason behind it. Not that it is a good reason but at least you know your creation was because Victoria desired you (even if it was in the most retched way). I do not have knowledge of such emotions prior to my time with my family now. I mean, after all, how much could a family want a child that they sent to an insane asylum and announce to the world that she was dead?

But despite by gray past, my present up until recently has been wonderful. I was terrified to meet the Cullens originally but my gift kept showing me how everything was going to be okay. Carlisle ushered me right into his home and the others accepted me almost immediately. I had waited until my eyes were good and golden before I went; I am sure that helped some. During all of that time surrounded by three devoted couples I was okay with being alone. I was content and couldn’t imagine being happier. But then I met you haphazardly in the very woods I had visited so many times through the years and since that time I can’t help but notice nothing was ever as it was supposed to be because I didn’t have you in my life. And now that I know what love looks like -- gray cloudy eyes, dark flowing hair, porcelain skin – I don’t want to go another day without it.

I no longer want to be alone; I want to be with you.

What I am trying to say Isabella is that my life did not start with some great easy beginning and shiny silver spoon. Just like you, my days as a human are cloaked in an unknown darkness and betrayal by the people who should have been there to protect us. We were both abandon by our sire and had to learn a new way of life, with an extraordinary gift, essentially on our own. The difference between you and I, Isabella, is that I used my gift to help me re-enter the world; find the family where I belong. You have run from your gift, and allowed things that you cannot change make you angry.

It doesn’t have to be that way Isabella . . . not anymore. 

Have faith in who you are and what it is that you deserve. You are stronger than you see and capable of more than just running. You are capable of love and to be loved. I don’t say these things just to fill this page but because I know them to be true. No one deserves to be alone, especially for as long as you have. It is time for you to be happy. You can have that!

And if you cannot yet have faith in yourself, than I ask you to have faith in me. Believe the things that I have told you while we were together. Trust in the things you have seen in my eyes and felt from me. Hear all of the passion and devotion I am pouring into this letter. I am here for you. I was created for you and you for me. We cannot continue to fight what is supposed to be.

I find it . . . interesting . . . that I did not see visions of you. As I told you that night before you ran, I do not see visions of your future either. Maybe it has something to do with how our powers are the opposite of each other. Maybe it is because you have not made a decision? There is such a peace while I am with you simply because I cannot see and I am content with that. Seeing everyone’s decisions can sometimes take the excitement out of life. So while your flight left me in agony I can honestly say I did not see that coming . . . and that is the way life is supposed to be, full of surprises. I want more of these things with you . . . both life and surprises. 

All of my time surrounded by examples of love between my families thought me this: 

Love is patient, love is kind and above all else it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and it always perseveres. 

This unyielding love is what we carry in us, Isabella; it is in you and I and it is only for each other. And should you, rather than the birds of the air or the creatures of the forest, find this letter, regardless if it is a day from now or a hundred years from this moment, please know that this love I have for you will never change and somewhere I will be waiting for you.

~Alice

Isabella looked over the pages in her hand again. The words that Alice had said to her so many nights ago still stuck out to her as if she had never heard it before. 

Love. 

Despite her behavior, despite being everything Alice didn’t need, nothing of what Alice deserved, she still loved Isabella. It was a thought that warmed Isabella from the inside, from a place she had never felt radiate from inside of her. And though she didn’t think she deserved the beauty that was Alice Cullen, she was done fighting it as if she didn’t want what Alice was offering. 

“I’m so sorry Alice, I should have never left you,” Isabella said as she folded the letter back, holding it close to her body as if it would protect her from anything.

The heaviness that seemed to weigh on her for the last two weeks lifted from her as if it had never been there. The piece of her that was missing for eternity fell into place without effort. Isabella new she was almost whole. 

There was only one thing she needed. 

“I’m coming Alice. I’m coming.” 

~*~oOo~*~

Alice slowly walked towards her room. Despite the blood that hummed in her body she didn’t really have a reason to move quickly. As she reached for the handle of her bedroom door she caught sight of Rosalie approaching her. In plain jeans and dark blue, long sleeve shirt, with her hair pulled into a high ponytail, a look Alice could see Rosalie wearing in her day as a school girl, Rosalie looked stunning. Her eyes had lost all reminisces of their golden color. Her black eyes and her need for blood made her skin look pale which in turned made her lips look as if she wore pink lipstick. Alice hoped Rosalie had not been ignoring her needs for her sake. 

“It would be great if you would come and hunt with us,” Rosalie said in a small voice. “I mean obviously you don’t need to hunt,” she said lifting her hands, indicating Alice’s new eyes, “but it could be fun, you know? All of us, sisters and brothers, together.” 

Alice smiled at her sister; a genuine smile. 

“You know the boys are going to turn it into some outlandish competition and a few trees will be up rooted. What’s more fun than watching Emmett and Jasper trying to beat Edward?” 

Both sisters laughed. Alice could feel the life fill her again as she thought about how thing transpired whenever they all were in the woods together. There was sure to be destruction and maybe going with them would take her mind off of things for a little while. But the sheer thought of going into the woods also saddened her. Having accomplished that feat once for the day, Alice didn’t think she could bear fighting that barrier again. 

Rosalie watched as Alice’s emotions warred on her face. Though she knew Alice was going to turn down the opportunity to watch the mayhem that was their siblings, she was content in knowing that something in Alice had begun to change. She didn’t know if it was the talk Alice had with Emmett that she watched from her bedroom window, or maybe it was whatever transpired when she disappeared into the woods. But to Rosalie it didn’t matter, all that mattered was that something was happening deep in the tattered heart and mind of her little sister and it was on the verge of making her whole again. Rosalie had known and understood pain, and she knew it would still take time before Alice was one hundred percent herself again, but this was a progress she was happy to see. 

“Thanks Rosalie, but I think I will pass this time,” Alice said. 

“Okay,” Rosalie gave Alice a knowing smile. “We will talk when we get back? Maybe do a bit of shopping?” 

“Yeah, I think I’ll like that.” 

Rosalie clapped her hands, bouncing on the ball of her feet at the possibility. She rubbed Alice down both of her arms in a gesture of love as she walked passed her sister, down the stairs and into Emmett’s waiting arms. 

Alice walked into her room depositing her bag onto her desk. She moved robotically around her room collecting her things for a shower. As the hot water ran down her body and through her hair her mind wondered to the letter she had left sticking into the wood of her favorite tree. Her perfect memory recalled the words she read back over in her letter to Isabella. There was no mistaken Alice had put what was left of her heart into that letter. Now Isabella had all of her: the first of which she gave that night sitting so many feet above ground in the tent of a circus and then this day in a multiple page letter left with hopes that Isabella would see it. 

Alice laughed to think maybe instead a squirrel or bird would know how she felt before Isabella had. Maybe the paper would become a home for some soon to hatch birds or apart of some beaver’s dam in some nearby stream. It was comical to Alice. Alice stepped from the shower, dried and redressed still musing over the idea of some hiker finding her love letter before Isabella had.   
Sitting on the side of her bed she couldn’t resist reaching for the letter that Isabella had left for her on her door step. Alice thought how yet again she was at a disadvantage: there was no doubt she would have gotten the letter Isabella had left for her. Alice couldn’t help but read over the letter again, still struck by the pain that was inaccurately conveyed with the dark ink of the pen. The letter should have been written in blood because that is what it had cost Isabella over all of those years. 

Suddenly, the letter fell from Alice’s hands, falling to the floor in a disorderly pile. It had been so long since Alice had seen a real vision that the bright clarity of it shocked her. 

Jasper flipping through the air, crashing into a tree, breaking the fragile wood in half. Rosalie runs to him, kneeling down before him as he laid stun on the ground. Edward stands defensively before he leaps through the air striking something. He runs in a blur, swinging and attacking. His eyes are full of anger and vengeance. Whomever he fights isn’t after him as they blur pass him, flying from tree to tree as if to get pass Edward, Emmett and Rosalie. They are going after Jasper. The scene slows to Emmett and Rosalie standing opposite each other holding down something or someone. Jasper walks back towards Edward, sending him a cooling wave of tranquility just as Edward prepares to behead the captive. Despite the situation the vampire doesn’t speak.

Alice’s falls from the bed, struck by the sight before her eyes. Her family was in danger though obviously not too much, but there was something about the vision that made Alice unable to breathe. There was a familiarity to the missing entity that she couldn’t seem to see. 

Who attacked Jasper? Who was Edward fighting? Who had Emmett and Rosalie captured? 

Kneeling on the floor Alice replayed the vision over and over, focusing on the twinge of something just past her ability to see. As the premonition played repeatedly at her will the desire to protect grew, but all Alice knew was that it was not her siblings she needed to protect. Not so much because obviously they would survive but because this need that burned at the corner of her mind was not familial but intimate, private; like a part of her that was not actually a part of her, but yet and still. 

As Alice watched she focused on the unclear, that which she could not see rather than what she could. That is when it came to her. As the last scene crossed her eyes that darted in the presses as if she was watching it on a television screen Alice made out the edge of a women, a small woman. Alice focused harder, forcing her mind to move up from where Rosalie’s hands held strongly to an arm, up to the person’s shoulder. Then, the truth was there. 

Dark chocolate brown curls falling on a shoulders and the sight of steel gray eyes. 

The shocked forced Alice from the floor and scampering back into her bed; knocking the unneeded breathe from her body. 

Alice was in motion; running into the trees before she registered her feet making contact with the stairs. 

Alice could taste venom in her mouth and the fire of vengeance in her heart . . . and it was aimed at her siblings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such a long delay . . . but no story goes abandoned . . .


	8. Just Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The decision made, the step taken, and the decision defended.

The woods had become Isabella’s home in the weeks since she ran from not only Alice, but the Marichino Brother’s Circus as well. She missed Leah and Carmen, but on that night she ran she felt like she was doing what was best for her. Maybe years ago running was what she was supposed to do for her survival. But as she slowly walked and looked around the thick foliage she had sequestered herself to she couldn’t help but wonder if maybe this time she was not supposed to run. 

Isabella understood that she was going to have to leave Leah and Carmen eventually, but maybe she could have stayed for another year or so. She knew she could have kept it together for that long and maybe she would have gotten a little more life out of her years. Then again she couldn’t help but think that Alice was always meant to be her ticket out of the life she had been less than content with for so many decades.

As Isabella continued her walk through the forest, she realized she was walking into Alice’s arms as she took the path that would undoubtedly lead to Alice’s home. 

And she was okay with that.

Isabella took a deep breath and added certainty to her step. Now was the time to put fears and mistakes behind her; looking her future straight ahead. Isabella ran her hands over the bark of the trees as she passed and pulled on the leaves that hung down into her face. She, for the first time, allowed her mind to wonder what life, a long full life, with Alice could really be like. She smiled at the thought of never having to leave Alice again, or being a secret from Alice’s family. Isabella knew she would smile more because it was already hard not to smile in Alice’s presence. 

However, there wasn’t all confidence in Isabella’s step. She knew there was still the very real possibility that Alice could never forgive her, never accept her back, despite all the pain that she may be in. Isabella had rocked what could have been all of the trust Alice was willing to put into her. At the thought of rejection the certainty that once fueled every step Isabella took began to wane. The urge to leave again filled her, but this time she knew that leaving wasn’t going to be easy. She had yet been able to leave since the night she ran from Alice, and that same weight bared on her heart still. 

There was no easy way out for Isabella and after all the pain that she had grown to know she decided that it was no longer about doing what was easy, but doing something different. 

In the distance Isabella could hear the voices of someone. She listened to the sounds that surrounded her, recognizing the voices, not of Alice but of her family. Accepting that these people would be her obstacle just as much as Alice’s acceptance, Isabella decided there was no better place to start than with them. 

The branches hardly creaked at the weight of Isabella’s landing. Hidden behind the full of the tree’s foliage, she bounced and flew from limb to limb in her attempt to both stay hidden and keep up with the four hunters. These were the people that were most important to Alice. They looked over her as she cried out in emotional despair. They nursed her back to health as she hid away in a bright white room, but locked away in the recess of her broken heart. These were the people that were there for Alice when Isabella could not be, or better yet, had chosen not to be. 

Isabella watched as the four of them pushed each other and ran; they laughed and wrestled. She gasped in shocked as the blond haired woman, the woman whose pain of being beaten and left for dead she had lived through in a vision, ran partially up a nearby tree, launching off its sides with a back flip, and landing on the curly haired man’s back. They laughed together as he ran her through the woods with the beautiful woman piggy back. 

The woman’s laugh was as beautiful as she was. The man’s laugh was booming, and Isabella couldn’t help but think how the baritone sound matched his build and look. But above all else the way the two sounds blended together made Isabella smile. For her to have never truly known such a thing before, she couldn’t help but assume that this was the sound of love. Isabella smiled as she continued to watch their playful banter.

Would Alice laugh this way when they were together? Isabella couldn’t help but wonder if Alice would permit her to carry her around like the princess that she was. Maybe carry her through the cover of the trees as Alice held on tightly from her back. In Isabella’s mind Alice giggled her small giggles as Isabella jogged up the side of forest incline; her hands stroking Alice’s thigh as her legs wrapped securely around Isabella’s waist. They would break through the covering trees and into the warm light of the sun. They would fall to the ground in a fit of laughter. Isabella would take Alice’s hands as she watched the yellow light of the sun refract across Alice’s beautiful face. Isabella would be speechless even more at Alice’s beauty and there would never be enough tongues, languages, or words to tell Alice how much she . . . 

Isabella’s thoughts were broken at another sound. It was then that she remembered that the two other men were below her; the beautiful blond and broad shoulder man. Isabella was first conflicted at the two men. It was these two to which Isabella questioned their relationship to her Alice. The lean built, red-head was the one who was able to convey Alice’s thoughts that night the angel had fallen prey to Isabella’s poisonous words and actions. She watched him with Alice through her window, but never did it appear to be more than a friend, and for this Isabella liked him almost as much as she liked the big guy who was now picking flowers for his significant other. But the other man, the blond, the one who seemed too close to her Alice, this man Isabella still did not fully care for. 

It was an odd reserve to have and Isabella continued to war with her feeling about this man. He cared for Alice and her happiness, that much was evident, but Isabella could not see where that love stopped. At the sight of his face, Isabella fought against the anger that was building back up from deep within her. Just days ago she watched as this man held her Alice, intimately, and she destroyed a tree and its roots to keep from attacking him. She knew that the man that walked at his side was his “mate,” as Alice referred to him, and yet she was still angry to know that this man was closer to her Alice than she could be. 

Isabella watched as the two men walked hand in hand, talking and smiling. They did not wrestle and push, flip and scream like the other two of Alice’s friends did. These two men had a calmer demeanor, but somehow Isabella knew that the love between them was no less intense. It could have been the way the red-head man stroked the blond man’s face. Maybe it was the way the two men looked into each other’s eyes as if they were having a silent conversation; one that no one would ever know about. Isabella looked away from the two when they leaned into each other’s arm, slowly connecting their lips. 

She couldn’t help but think of the time she so desperately wanted with Alice. She could feel Alice sitting against her chest as she read more stories. She pondered the idea that maybe when she could rejoin with her Alice that her writing would be happier because she had the most beautiful woman in the world with the best smile, and warmest presence to inspire her words. She would stroke Alice’s hair, and look into her deep golden eyes, and just before she tasted Alice’s sweet kiss she would whisper how much she, cared for her and how much she . . . 

Isabella’s thoughts were disrupted by the sound of a deep voice grunting and another one laughing. She knew the laugh was the innocent bear of a man that she was growing to find funny. The growl came from the blond who was being carried away by the playful man. The blond woman laughed at the antics as she stood beside the red-head, but he didn’t look very please. 

“Emmett!” the red-head screamed. “Not cool.” 

“Oh calm down, bro,” the man Isabella now knew as Emmett screamed back. “I know you have a thing for blonds so I left you a new one.” 

Isabella could no longer see Emmett and the blond man but she could hear them as if they were right beside her. The thought worried Isabella as the last thing she wanted was to be discovered. 

“She’s not quite my type,” the red-head responded. “No offense, Rose.” He looked at the woman at his side who was still smiling. 

“None taken,” she assured him. 

And so Isabella came to know that the woman’s name was Rose; the Rosalie that Alice spoke of in her letter. 

“I could kick your ass, I’m just choosing not to,” Isabella heard the blond man say as he came into view. He was walking back to where his mate and Rosalie stood. 

“You can keep trying,” Emmett said as he too came into view. “It’s Edward’s fault,” he continued. 

“What? How was that my fault?” The red-head said as he pulled the blond man back into his side. 

Isabella deduced that the now slightly dirty, blond man, the man who she was only partially resolved of the thought of killing, was Jasper; as Jasper was Edward’s mate. 

“Because if you weren’t so caught up by lover boy here you would have totally heard my thoughts about attacking Jazz,” Emmett said. 

The four were silent for a second as Isabella continued to watch their interaction. 

“Hmm,” Jasper mumbled, “He may have a point, babe.” 

Edward smiled at Jasper before replying, “Well then you shouldn’t be so damn good looking.” 

The two men joined into the kiss that was so abruptly interrupted. 

“Okay! Okay; enough of that. Can we please go get some breakfast now before you two make me lose my appetite,” Emmett dramatically clenched at his stomach and mouth as if he had the ability to throw up. 

Rosalie jumped back onto Emmett’s back. She ruffled his hair telling him to leave “Eddie and Jazz” alone. 

Isabella continued to follow and watch the gang from her place far above them, some ways away. She watched as they hunted, the pairs never getting too far from each other. She noticed how the mates almost moved in synch with each other; they stood back when needed, but as soon as they bled some animal it was their mate that disposed of the carcass. At times Isabella felt wrong to be near; she could sense the need of each set of companions to be alone. The feeling deep inside of her to physically and intimately join with another was so strong, Isabella could have sworn that someone was purposely making her feel this way. Emmett and Rosalie and Edward and Japer, the two pair, each went in opposite direction. With the sounds that echoed through the dense forest, bouncing off the wood that surrounded them Isabella knew that the mates had felt that need to connect as well. 

She attempted not to listen and she could not see them, but Isabella hid her face into her knees in bashfulness. She didn’t want to leave Alice’s family and yet being in those woods seemed to be trespassing onto something no one should be privileged to. As she sat patiently waiting on the four to reconvene she did what she always did; thought about Alice. 

Intimacy was such a unique thing. The sounds that surrounded her in the trees made Isabella want to blush if it were possible; reminding her of her own virginity but she was not so innocent to not know what was taking place around her. Though the time with her Alice was not as risqué as the lover’s that were joining in the forest around her, she knew it was just as passionate.

Isabella’s mind wondered back to the sight of Alice on one particular day:

**Isabella had come upon Alice presence, finding her sitting between outreaching roots of a tree. The two dark roots created the perfect seat for the petite woman. Isabella had not been in the best of moods but despite her sour disposition she refused to miss her meeting with Alice. When she arrived, Alice had already been there waiting. Alice wore a pair of white shorts and a purple shirt that hung off her shoulders as if it was too big. Alice could see Isabella wasn’t herself and she took no offense when after they greeted with their usual hug Isabella slid down the tree from across from her. 

Seeing Alice’s face, Isabella felt that same unmistakable call to go to her. But the longer Isabella sat in her lonely open seat, the harder it was for her to get closer to Alice; so she sat there and stared at the inviting creature. The warm spring breeze had carried an unusually potent amount of Alice’s scent to Isabella. The air danced around her; warping her in a cocoon of her very own aphrodisiac. 

Isabella peeked over the edge of her spiral notebook in time for a new breeze to push Alice’s inky black hair away from her face. She could see Alice’s long eye lashes brushed across Alice’s cheek as she blinked. Alice laced her fingers through her hair, pushing it away from her face. Isabella followed the lines of her chin and ear down to the curve in her exposed neck. Her mouth began to water; her thoughts filling with the possibility of kissing Alice in that very spot. Isabella’s eyes continued to follow down the side of Alice’s body, leaving a trail of risqué thoughts about what Isabella wish she could do to the woman sitting only feet away from her, in their path. Her eyes landed on a piece of exposed skin just above the beautiful goddess’ hip. Isabella licked her lips at anticipation of lightly biting into the cool flesh there. The sour taste of venom filled her mouth as she thought of marking Alice in such an intimate place; the place where her hand would rest when she stood beside Alice with her arm wrapped around her in protection. 

Isabella tried to shake away the toughs but as her eyes continued down Alice’s legs, her fantasies went into overdrive; imagining them wrapped around her or her hands rubbing them softly as they eased a path towards Alice’s forbidden fruit. One taste of Alice so completely and she knew she would have never been able to leave Alice again. That day Isabella never did join Alice under the tree but rather sat off on her own secretly staring at beauty.

When the two parted ways that early evening, Alice walked towards the melancholy woman and leaned into her frame. Isabella had tasted Alice’s lips so many times before that moment, but still in a lust dazed from her voyeurism Isabella stepped out of Alice’s path. For a brief moment Isabella could see the pain in Alice’s eyes, but as soon as it was there it was gone. Alice stepped back into the sight of the allusive girl, removing her shoulder bag. Taking Isabella’s arm, Alice wrapped them around her waist. Alice looked deep into Isabella’s steal gray orbs before placing Isabella’s free hand on her hip, just above her shorts where the small piece of skin still showed exposed. 

Isabella didn’t understand why but Alice’s body was warm in her hands. Alice leaned back into Isabella body looking deeply into her eyes. When Alice lips touched Isabella’s the world shifted beneath the woman’s feet. Isabella’s hand burned with a need to message the skin it so lightly held. Every fear possible ran through her mind; fear that if she did anything wrong, touched Alice the wrong way, that Alice would run away and never bless Isabella with her presence again. With a sigh, Alice sunk deeper into Isabella’s arm. Isabella screamed at her body for control and with the only ounce she could muster, Isabella slid her thumb across the soft skin of Alice’s side. When Alice and Isabella parted that day it was with more difficulty than Isabella had endured until that point.**

Isabella was pulled out of her thoughts at the sound of grass blades snapping under foot. Looking over the truck of the tree, through the quickly growing and filling leaves of the branches she could see the two pairs walking from their prospective hiding places, looking both unkempt and yet satisfied. Many weeks before Isabella would have assumed it was from a successful hunt, but now with her own mind filled with intense, lust ridden thoughts that made her breath quicken and the pulse in her body dance, Isabella knew they were filled with more than just the blood of hunting.

Isabella’s opportunity to make herself known was quickly coming to a close. She knew she had to take the opportunity to reconnect with Alice, to find a way back to the woman she loved, but fear was gripping her harder than she gripped the trees she clung too. She watched as the four walked towards her unknowingly. She didn’t want there to be trouble but in her mind it was smarter to approach this coven rather than show up again on Alice’s door step. She felt like she needed to be let in, not force herself in despite Alice’s sweet words promising to always be waiting. Digging down past the hurt that Isabella had experienced in the past, ignoring the internal screams and reflexes to run, and past the idea that no one could hurt her the way Alice could if she ever rejected her, Isabella dug for the determination she need to go to the smiling yet dangerous four that continually made their way towards her. 

But before she could fall to the ground and introduced her, Isabella felt a force like none other move her. 

~*~oOo~*~

Jasper could sense something was off. As he quietly walked hand-in-hand with Edward, he could feel the presence of someone, or something, nearby. Jasper attempted to remain aware of the entity without alarming the others. It had been a while since they had happened upon a nomad and while most where simply passing through, others were trouble makers. Not understanding the life the Cullens had chosen, these nomads sat out to destroy it simply for the sake of being destructive. They had to be dealt with accordingly, swiftly and quietly. It was Jasper’s promise to himself, and the love he held for each and every member of his family, that he would keep them safe. His goal was to stay alert, ever focus on anything that may be a threat to their lives. But danger was not the emotional temperature that Jasper was sensing from this unseen force, but rather curiosity. 

Jasper honed in on the emotional state of each of his siblings that roughhoused and teases around him. They all held a bit of curiosity. Edward had confided in him that everyone’s mind was always fractionally on Alice, her well-being, and the person who could elicit such a strong emotion from her. But this curiosity that picked at him was stronger and yet farther away than the lover who held his hand, the brother who carried him away over his shoulder, or the sister who stood at his side. He could not sense any immediate danger, but Jasper still didn’t let his guard down because if not maintained, if left uncontrolled, curiosity could kill.

The hunting was plentiful, the company of siblings was happy despite of the uncertainty of Alice, and the alone time was remarkable. As the four rejoined, Jasper bathed in the residual lust that radiated from the two pairs of lovers. There was a peace amongst the well sated and sexually satisfied gang that Jasper expected, and yet as the group began the walk back to their home Jasper sensed an overwhelming load of anxiety to match the still lingering curiosity. 

With each passing moment Jasper’s own anxiety was growing. He couldn’t hear or see anything, but the emotional temperature around him, coming from some unforeseen person, was gnawing on his nerves. From his peripheral he could see Edward glancing at him, his eye brow slowly knitting together. Edward was starting to suspect something was distracting Jasper, even if only minimally. Jasper had been successful to avoid thinking of what, or who, could be near but he never could hide his emotions or worry from Edward. They knew each other too well. Edward always knew when something was bothering Jasper, even if he couldn’t read it in his mind. 

Jasper realized then that whoever was nervous, anxious, and curious was watching them from afar and they were no friend. Edward obviously hadn’t picked up on their mental note, so either they were not thinking of anything malicious to alert him or they were immune to Edward’s ability. Neither thought comforted Jasper. Though they may not be towards ill intent, a voice silent to Edward was a person not familiar to the rest of the family. 

The seconds seems to pass by slowly and nothing was happening. Jasper grew on edge himself, but at the first taste of emotional determination and finality Jasper knew he had to strike before they did. 

Without explanation, Jasper took off full speed from Edward and his siblings. He could hear Emmett’s “what the hell” as he dashed as quickly as he could; following nothing more than the pull of the emotional onslaught. He still couldn’t see what he was chasing. Jasper readied his mind and body for whatever he was about to come up against all in the name of protection of everything, and everyone, he loved. 

Jasper looked over his shoulder to find Edward quickly catching up to him.

“Fuck,” Jasper muttered to no one.

He knew Edward was faster than he was. He had to get to whomever it was that was a ball of curiosity before Edward could stop him or before this dangerous unknown could get to Edward. This mystery in the woods didn’t know who they were up against or the fight to the death they would have to face if they touched a single hair on the head of Edward Masen Cullen. Jasper tried not to be distracted by Edward quickly gaining behind him; pushing his arms and legs harder and reaching further out; his extreme empathy being pulled by this unfamiliar aura. 

And then he found it.

Jasper halted at a tree with thick leaves reaching out into the branches of the neighboring foliage. Throwing a look over his shoulder, seeing Edward only a few feet behind and Emmett and Rosalie fast on his heels, Jasper quickly assessed the situation. Jasper scaled the tree; there was no time to ask questions. Jumping over and through the limbs, Jasper tackled the individual who peered over the edges of the tree, down at Edward, Rosalie, and Emmett.   
Grunts and screams surrounded Jasper as he and the intruder fell from the high tree, snapping limbs as they went. As the ground quickly grew closer below them, the intruder slipped from Jasper’s grasp, but not before he could pin her down by the ankle, the intruder falling face first into the ground of the forest; her scream disturbing the silence of woods. 

Fury flooded through Isabella. She could feel the venom in her body move to her muscles strengthening them more. The feeling wasn’t foreign to her; it was the same way she felt whenever Victoria said she was worthless or a freak among vampires. It was the same anger she felt when she found herself alone, and abandoned. It was the same way she felt when she saw a blond man, this man who now attached her for no reason . . . this Jasper, sitting and holding her Alice; a fiery rage that was consuming every cell in her body.

Isabella back flipped over the man who still held her leg captive in his hands. As her body flew over his, he neglected to release her. Isabella landed on her hands, slinging her legs, allowing them to follow the path her body took, throwing Jasper over her and into the nearby tree. Isabella fell to one knee watching as Jasper broke the unsuspecting tree in which he collided with in half. Rosalie kneeled down before Jasper still trying to recover from his contact from the tree. 

Adrenaline coursed through Isabella’s concrete veins at the sound of wood giving away to Jasper’s weight. She didn’t want to meet Alice’s family this way but she was grateful that it was Jasper who attacked. She grinned at the thought of taking out her aggression on the one person in Alice’s coven that deserved it. Isabella wasn’t a fighter and she knew this would be a fight she would lose, but she would die knowing that she tried to defend both her honor and Alice’s honor as well. 

She charged at Jasper as he stood from the ground. Before she could reach him only twenty feet away she was intercepted with a blow to the chest that sent her tumbling backwards. Isabella looked over to find Edward who looked the epitome of a lover’s wrath, standing as protector between her and Jasper and Rosalie. She had seen Edward run and knew he was fast, but she knew she was faster. Emmett was her true concern. If they managed to catch her his strength would likely be what ended her, but it was a chance she was willing to take. 

Jasper was her target. Not only had he been the one to attack her but he was too close to Alice. If she could take him out she could care less if the other claimed her. Her mission, the one she initially fought to control in Alice’s name sake, would be complete. 

Isabella ran at Jasper again, excited to see the shock on Rosalie and Jasper’s face. Did they think she would give up? Edward attempted to strike her again. She dodged his fist, sliding just to the right of his leg. Springing off the ground, she landed a kick square to Edward’s back, sliding him face first across the bumpy forest floor. Rosalie moved then, but Isabella was too quick for the grapple Rosalie attempted. Isabella didn’t want to hurt or even fight Rosalie, so with a spring into the air, hoisting her overhead by the low hanging branch, she moved behind Rosalie, and ran for Jasper again. 

Her attack on Jasper was ill placed; Isabella suspected he was more trained than Edward, and ever so much than she herself was. She managed to dodge every strike he attempted, but attempting to strike him distracted her too much to both evade and swing simultaneously. Each punch landed to her chest pushed her further back from him. Isabella ran full speed at Jasper, attempting to kick him again was her final down fall. As her foot slid through the air, Jasper took her by the ankle again, flinging her across the forest air like a rag doll. Isabella could feel every branch, vine, and tree as she crashed through the air. The air her lungs didn’t need flew from her body as she rebounded off the thick oak tree she so vividly remember hanging from so many times before. Isabella landed on her knees and hands. 

Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper and Edward walked her direction with a smug look of satisfaction that Isabella wanted to wipe from each of their faces but couldn’t. She was too exhausted to fight; she had already lost. What mattered was there to her life? A sire gone that despised her, no roots of her own, and a love of her life that she ran from. All was pointless.

Emmett and Rosalie each took one of her arms in their hand. The vice grip they applied could be done by no one other than vampires. Isabella looked up towards her executioners. Edward stood before her with Jasper just behind him, still breathing heavy from their tussle. And with the very real possibility of death before her the only thought Isabella had was that maybe, just maybe, she deserved this. 

Her father never wanted her, her mother abandoned her, her sire detested her, and she ran from the one woman who may have given a real damn about her. A woman who had captivated her from the moment she laid eyes on her in the very forest she was now going to die. For the way she treated Alice, for the way she abandon Carmen and Leah, Isabella could only think this fate she deserved. 

Slowly she raised her head, determined to look death square in the eye; the first act of bravery she ever knew of herself to take. She granted herself one last beautiful thought. Isabella remembered, with only the very vivid memory her kind could muster, the feel of Alice’s lips mixed with the taste of blood on her lips. 

“Alice?” Edward said, hearing the mental voice of Isabella for the first time. 

~*~oOo~*~

Alice ran with every ability of her body fueled by anger. In her mind she cursed herself for not going hunting, maybe she could have stopped this. But she was more pissed at her family. 

Since when did the Cullens attack strangers in the woods? Alice thought of how innocent Isabella was, as dark and lonely as the woman's mind was, the one thing Isabella was not was a danger. The Cullens where protectors, of each other, their way of life, and the unwritten laws of their kind, but what was the prey in this matter? Alice pace slowed as her mind analyzed and settled on the very possibility that her family was protecting her. 

They had seen Alice at her lowest over the last few weeks. Alice was in unheard of vampire cationic state for a week, had collapsed in the yard twice, snapped on her sibling on multiple occasions, ran from the house, and was uncharacteristically quiet. Yes, it was a very real possibility they were protecting her and justified in their actions. Alice leaned into the tree as she paused in the woods. Surely they would not hurt Isabella. Alice just knew that Edward should have seen her face in Alice's ongoing thought of the woman. Emmett sat and listened to Alice brag on Isabella's beauty. And above all else Jasper should sense her fear, not anger; her shyness, and not threat. 

The small thought was almost enough to make Alice laugh at her behavior. But the laugh didn't go far as the realization built that despite all these facts Alice could not dismiss the vision that plagued her mind. The surreal anger that once settled was quickly rising again, just as the dust was kicked up around her. Then Alice heard the unmistakable thunder crack of concrete on concrete, or a collision of two of a kind. The sounds of trees falling and the grunts of fallen men filled the air. Alice’s legs almost burned with a fathom pain of exhaustion, but failing was not an option. She couldn't imagine losing a sibling, but to lose Isabella, before she could truly have her, was unacceptable. 

Silence fell over the forest as Alice ran forward. She could only hear the heavy breathing of those in the woods. The thick foliage blocked her physical sight but her mental eyes saw the moment exactly as it appeared in her mind’s eye. The moment felt exactly as it did as she watched from the present. Alice dove for a low hanging branch, catapulting herself into a narrow opening just as she heard Edward say her name. Alice fell from the tree kicking Edward away from Isabella in the process.

“Back off, Edward. All of you!” Alice screamed as she looked each of her siblings in the eye. 

“Alice, what the hell?” Rosalie exclaimed. 

“Now, Rose!”

Emmett and Rosalie removed the hold they had on Isabella’s arm. Alice slowly back towards Isabella not taking her eyes off any of her siblings as if they were the intruders, as if they would attack her next. Alice pulled Isabella up by her arms, shielding Isabella with her body. 

“How could you do this?” Alice demanded answers.

“Alice, what the hell is going on? Who is she? We were only protecting ourselves. She was going to attack us,” Rosalie accused.

“Lie!” Isabella screamed from behind Alice. She moved as if to physically remind Rosalie of who attacked whom first, but Alice paused her, shielding Isabella from the rest.

“Emmett, I told you; you should have known. And Edward, how could you not know; I have only been thinking about her every day for weeks! You do this to me! How dare you?” 

“Wait a minute,” Emmett said defensively. “We didn’t do anything to you. We were headed home. We were protecting our family, the way we always protect each other from those who do nothing but hurt us.” 

Emmett accented each word; speaking to Alice in a tone that conveyed the fight for his family was not over. For Emmett, Isabella may not have physically attacked, but she was still a threat to Alice; a threat that he would not tolerate. 

Edward growled, his eyes darting back and forth between Isabella and Alice. Now that the moment was calmer he could recognize her from the blurring emotional thoughts Alice emulated for over two weeks, but it didn’t matter. This woman not only hurt Alice but attacked Jasper. Edward didn’t trust her. 

“Wait, everyone calm down,” Rosalie called for everyone attention. “Alice, maybe you would like to properly introduce us to your little . . . guest.” 

Isabella took offence to Rosalie’s words though she didn’t know why. Her body still pulsed with an instinct to fight and the woman she once saw as beautiful and carefree, loving and kind was the center of her focus. Isabella’s need to correct Rosalie’s tone was only dwarfed by her ever present call to finish what she started with Jasper. Isabella’s eyes darted to the man who stood still in attack mode only feet away. Isabella had already formulated in her mind how she could simply side step Alice and land a blow to Jasper to truly payback his unwarranted attack. 

“I will tear your head from your shoulders before you touched the ground. Try me,” Edward said, fully hearing every vengeful thought Isabella possessed. 

“ENOUGH!” Alice screamed, her light voice booming through the forest. The sound of bird wings flapping in the air at retreat was quickly followed by the fading echo of sounds into a piercing silence. 

“You all may leave now,” Alice said in a tone still not quite her own but calmer and quieter than the tone upon her arrival. 

Edward and Jasper rejoined hands as they passed by Isabella and Alice, sharing a look between them only before looking over their shoulder at the two women. Then they were gone, nothing lying as evidence of their departure besides the still swaying of low vines and leaves. Emmett reached out his hand for Rosalie to join him, but she did not budget. 

Rosalie slowly walked around the two women, once and then twice. She noted every characteristic about this woman that her sister stood in defense of, the women Alice was willing to fight her family over. This was the woman who tarnished Alice’s heart and had already won a sore spot with Rosalie. The vixen vowed this poisonous woman would never hurt Alice again, even if she had to take care of the problem herself. 

Isabella clung closer to Alice as she watched Rosalie’s slow assessment. It was then Isabella saw more than beauty in the face of the woman, there was a fight in her that might have even rivaled Jasper. Emmett had been Isabella’s concern, but maybe it was Rosalie that should have received her humbled respect of strength. 

“Go, Rosalie,” Alice repeated. 

Rosalie walked to Emmett, taking him by the hand. The two did not speed away from the scene as Edward and Jasper had, but rather walked away, slowly, still observing the two they left behind. 

Alice dropped her guard as soon as the last two disappeared into the trees. This was the reunion she had been waiting on for weeks and she didn’t see a reason to delay it any further. Alice turned around, ready to be blown away by the beauty she remembered so vividly. But as she went to face Isabella she turned to find no one there. Alice turned in circles, panic quickly settling in once again around her heart. She didn’t understand how Isabella could have returned only to be gone again as soon as they were alone. Was Alice that repulsive to the mysterious creature or had she imagined the whole thing? How far could the mind of a vampire be stretched before it finally snapped, creating a situation that was not reality?

“Alice?” 

The voice rained down from above the girl that was only moments away from her final break down. Alice looked up into the oversized oak tree to find Isabella perched against its body, amidst its limbs. 

“Alice,” Isabella called again. She stretched out her hand to the woman as if she needed the help or if a single hand would be all she would need to scale the oversize plant. 

But Alice had other motivations to help her reach Isabella’s branch. There were questions to be answered, reasons to be given, confessions to be revealed, and above all else forgiveness to be awarded and futures to begin.

Alice quickly made work of the daunting oak tree that Isabella had taken refuge in once again. She looked at Isabella who was sitting with her face hidden in her knees as she held her legs close to her chest. 

“I thought it would be fitting. It all kind of started in a tree, it should probably end in one to,” Isabella mumbled into her cocooned she created for herself. 

Alice breath caught as the idea that nothing had changed; that Isabella still had not decided to stay, that she was not back for Alice; to fill the hole that had swallowed her. 

“Why does it even have to end?” Alice asked. 

She wanted to run away, leave before Isabella left her again but she couldn’t. For the first time a part of her was where it was supposed to be and leaving it was not an option. 

“Because I’m tired, or as tired as a vampire can be,” Isabella pulled her face away from her legs, stretching them out before her. “I just can’t do it anymore.” 

Alice sat silently, not knowing what to say or do. She could only be thankful that maybe this time hearing Isabella say goodbye, having Isabella’s letter, and knowing that she was able to tell Isabella how she felt would have to bring her some kind of closure. 

“I wrote you a letter. I left it for you in our tree.” 

Isabella reached down into her pockets removing the now wrinkled and slightly dirty pages that prompted her to finally let go of all of her fears and accept the love Alice had for her. Alice smiled seeing the paper in Isabella’s hand. So she felt her mission was as complete as Isabella would allow it to be. If she needed to leave than there would be nothing Alice could do anymore. She could not keep what did not want to be kept. 

The silence that settled around them gave Alice time to encourage herself. She vowed this time she would not break down. She would not cause her family the pain that Isabella would cause her; no one deserved that. She promised herself she would try to function and move on and go on about her life as she always had. She thought of the vision she had where she saw herself smiling, using it as a reminder that somewhere down the lane of time she would be happy again. She only had to work at it, and she promised herself that she would. 

“This isn’t how I wanted things to go,” Isabella said fumbling the folded square of paper in her hand. 

“It’s okay. Really,” Alice responded, trying desperately to look anywhere but at Isabella again. 

“Do you think they will ever forgive me? Your family I mean.” 

“Why does it matter? Their forgiveness doesn’t really change anything.” 

“No, I guess not,” Isabella took Alice by the hand, “but yours will.” 

Alice clasped Isabella hand. It had been so long since she felt that peace and electricity that Isabella had over her. She never wanted to let Isabella go but she knew the moment would come sooner than she wanted. For her own peace, a step in the direction of finally letting go, Alice let go of Isabella’s hand first. 

“Yes, Isabella, I will forgive you.” 

As pain for as the words were to say, Alice knew them to be true because that’s what love did; it forgave. A complete forgiveness where nothing remained of the ill act besides a memory that was never spoke of again. 

At Alice’s words Isabella saw a hope that she had never felt before. 

“That’s all I need. Alice,” Isabella continued, “I don’t know what to do next, so I am going to do something I have wanted to do for quite some time now.” 

Alice watched as Isabella leaned into her and the small space that existed between them. She held her breath as Isabella closed her eyes. Isabella’s lips brushed across Alice’s. The familiarity of Alice’s soft touch and sweet taste mixed with an aroma that was distinctively hers; Isabella felt whole again.

“I’ve missed you so much,” Isabella said, “and I am happy I will never have to miss you again.”

“Wait, what?” Alice asked.

“Alice, I’m never leaving you again,” Isabella said. “I thought you,” Isabella tried to say. “I’m sorry. . . I just thought. . . I thought you,” Isabella fumbled over each word. 

Alice couldn’t hear the words that she knew Isabella was saying. Time stood still as the moment grew into that familiar sense of deja vu. Alice looked around her taking in the feel of the breeze, the physical presence of the present time and she knew that this was the day that she had been trying to race towards. The vision she could only see of herself smiling wasn’t some far off moment where she finally had forgotten about Isabella. Rather, it was now, that very moment in a tree where Isabella said for the first times the words she could not dare to speak only weeks ago. This was their moment, and Alice didn’t have to wait nearly as long as she feared she would. 

“Okay, well I’ll go. I won’t bother you again. I promise,” Isabella said. 

The words suddenly broke through Alice realization that Isabella was about to leave her. The last thing she wanted was for Isabella to go anywhere. Alice tumbled over Isabella connecting their lips again. The force sent both women falling over the edge of the branch they occupied. As their bodies fell freely to the ground Alice consumed Isabella’s lips sensually, slowly for the first time in what her heart believed to have been forever. Isabella tangled her hands in Alice’s hair and wrapping her arm around Alice as tightly as she had always wanted. But as the moment seemed perfect their landing was not so. 

“Ouch,” Isabella said as she found herself beneath Alice, in a human size crater her body created. “This is the second time I have been pushed from a tree today.” 

“Sorry! I guess I got a little excited.” Alice explained. 

Despite the moment neither woman made an attempt to move. Isabella continued to run her fingers through Alice’s hair; continuously brushing it from the woman’s eyes. 

“Would you say it again, please?” Alice asked. 

“I will say it every single day for the next one hundred millenniums. Alice, I will never leave you again.” Isabella pushed Alice up onto her knees as Isabella took an upright seat in the spot where they landed. Alice climbed into Isabella’s lap looking her into her eyes. 

Alice could still see the pain, hurt, and issues of Isabella’s past. Alice knew those scars would take some work to break through, and heal but it was a battle she was willing to fight for Isabella. Because there was a lot of hurt there, Alice could also see there was a lot of love there as well. It was this Alice chose to focus her power on, to pull out the positive and deal with the negative. She had faith she could do it; even if she had to do it alone. 

Alice had not had to face a difficulty alone since she found her family; her place amongst the Cullens, but she knew there was a very strong possibility that things would not be so smooth when she returned home with Isabella in tow. 

Alice thoughts of the goals ahead were only temporarily eclipsed by Isabella touch and kiss. 

~*~oOo~*~

Isabella and Alice stood just on the cuff of the tree line that separated the thick forest and Cullen Manor. She knew that taking the next three steps would be making a decision she could never back down from again; Alice’s family wouldn’t let her and the last few weeks had proven her heart would not either.   
Isabella looked over at Alice who stood the perfect example of beauty and love. 

Alice was looking through the trees at her home. She was patiently giving Isabella her time to collect her thoughts. Alice didn’t want to rush the love of her life. She understood that crossing this line meant Isabella was ready to cross so many others. Those time couldn’t be rushed either. Alice felt Isabella had proven enough for one day; that her words and promises to stay were sincere. As they ran through the forest collecting Isabella’s things and finally making it to the tree line that would take them home Alice could sense both Isabella’s anxiety and determination. And whenever Alice looked, just to be safe, to her side to see where Isabella was, the beautiful creature was right there, still at her side, keeping up and keeping her promise. So Alice didn’t see a need to rush Isabella at this time; they would take the step and cross this line together. 

With one last deep breath, Isabella took Alice by the hand and took the lead, pulling Alice behind her and into the yard of Alice, and possibly her new home. The two women walked at a human pace across the space. Isabella looked upon the face of each of Alice’s siblings who stood as sentinels behind two others; the man and woman Alice explained as Esme and Carlisle. None of Alice’s siblings were happy to see the woman who stirred up trouble but Alice and Isabella both took comfort in the calm and smiling face of the family’s leader. 

Alice and Isabella finally stood before the family. No one spoke and yet the looks being passed between Alice and her siblings were communication enough. Isabella grew more nervous with each moment. She was grateful when Alice spoke. 

“Carlisle, Esme,” Alice began but changed her tone to more anger as she addressed each one of her siblings, “This is Isabella.” 

Alice squeezed Isabella’s hand and sharing a smile. Isabella was greeted with another smile from Esme before the woman took her by the hand.

“Welcome,” is all Esme said and yet Isabella had never heard a word spoken with such sympathy and genuine meaning. At its sound Isabella began to think that maybe she really was welcomed here. 

But when she looked away from Esme’s beautiful face she was met with four sets of angrier expression. Edward, Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett choose that moment to walk back into the house, not addressing Alice or Isabella.

Carlisle looked behind him at his retreating children, and said with a shrug of his shoulders, “Give them time, they will come around.” 

Carlisle took Esme at the waist and turned her around to join the others in the home. 

Isabella understood the need for time, and as she looked over at Alice’s crestfallen face she hoped that time would fix all that was broken, and build things that were new. Isabella squeezed Alice’s hand getting her attention. Alice looked to Isabella, trying but failing to cover the evidence of pain in her eyes. 

Isabella offered a smile as she pulled the small woman close to her body, whispering into Alice’s ear, “I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	9. Touch and Believe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Explanation leads to understanding

Isabella couldn’t help but scan the large open room she was being pulled into. Everything looked as if it was the right mixture of soft and hard or bright and natural. Isabella had been so sheltered in all versions of her life.

She remembered the feel of squeaky clean, smooth surfaces of the kitchen of her first childhood home; the house that once contained a father, mother, and feeble child. She also remembered the odd combination of softness and plastic when she would sit in the gathering room and listen to the television. She recalled the feel of iron that spiraled downwards from the banister of the stair case. But when her father left her and her mother, all of those different materials changed.

Later, the counters in the kitchen were rougher and oddly bumpy, as if something foreign was under the would-be flat surface. The couch was no longer plastic and soft and cracked when she sat on it. In the new home it was hard, as if she could feel the wood beneath, and she sank uncomfortably back into the uneven cushions. There was no longer a television to listen to and the smooth wood of the stair banister was replaced with cracked wood that resulted in many splinters in her hands. But despite the hardship in her life post-father, even this was paradise compared to her cave dwelling of which she had with Victoria.

Cold and damp, even to her dead skin, she and Victoria only seemed to wonder from cave dwelling to cave dwelling. Awoken to a new life with a new ability to see and there was nothing to look at but moss and mold covered stone walls. Things definitely looked better when she shared trailers with her many circuses. Isabella felt she had fell into a heavenly utopia when she first laid eyes on another bed. Even the burnt orange carpet of her and Leah’s trailer was a sight for sore eyes. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. And now looking at smooth white walls, with a mosaic of mirrors, a stainless steel kitchen just over her shoulder, fire place with a cherry wood mantle, large sofa that looked as soft as a cloud and the entire windowed wall in which she used to enter the home, Isabella felt she didn’t belong any more than Alice’s siblings felt she did.

Isabella continued to scan her surroundings with “awe” on her face and in her eyes. Her eyes fell on porcelain skin, a face framed by blond hair and static with a look of anger. Isabella noticed Rosalie had taken her hair from the ponytail she wore. She no longer looked sweet, but rather vicious. Isabella stepped closer to Alice who still held her hand. She grasped Alice shoulder, hiding like a coward behind the love of her life who also happened to be a good four inches shorter than her.

Alice and Rosalie seemed to be having a staring contest. Rosalie glared at the stranger in her home and Alice stared at the sister she thought would always support her. Isabella didn’t know how long they stood there but no one spoke. Emmett was standing behind Rosalie, not looking at Isabella or Alice. Edward and Jasper stood together holding another of those silent conversations she noticed when she followed them in the woods, but this conversation did not appear to be about love and devotion for one another. They looked over in Alice and Isabella’s direction only occasionally. Daggers flew from their eyes as they followed the lines of Alice’s arm, down to her hand and into Isabella’s shaking grasp. When their eyes traveled back up, Isabella could only look away, no longer able to stand the looks of judgment that fell upon her. Isabella turned her head in shame because maybe Rosalie, Edward, Jasper, and Emmett where right: She had hurt Alice and therefore did not deserve her.

Alice was much like the home Isabella could not stop admiring from her spot hidden behind the petite woman. She was clean and sparkling, soft and inviting. Isabella couldn’t help but be drawn to her and admire all the beauty that was in her. Yet, Isabella was not those things. She was more like the home she was taken from so many decades ago – Worn, stained and there was something forging inside that made her uneven and malformed. Isabella began to feel ashamed that she ever thought she would be right for Alice.

Alice’s mind was far from that of Isabella’s self-deprecation thoughts. She looked to the siblings that was her world and realized that feeling had shifted. She realized that all of that needed support had been transferred from her siblings and into the body of the woman who stood behind her.

Alice could feel Isabella grasp tighten in her own hands and all she could do was squeeze just as hard. Alice eyes moved over every individual that was in that living room. Not a single sibling showed a look of approval. Inside Alice died a little, knowing that the one thing she needed to move forward, her loved one’s approval, she didn’t have. But when her eyes met with Esme and Carlisle she found the approval she needed. Esme, with her hands placed over her heart and her head tilted in soft admiration, was being held by Carlisle who looked with bright eyes and promise. With a nod of acceptance from her loving “parents” Alice looked passed her judgmental siblings, pulling her heart up the stairs behind her. When she looked over her shoulder to Isabella instead of meeting her icy blue eyes she could only see her bowed head.

Alice knew that between the two of them was an impeccable love that rested on a shaky foundation of distrust and judgment and doubt between them; both that needed to be changed. 

Ooo0ooO

Isabella looked around Alice’s room. There wasn’t a thing that she hadn’t seen before from a great distance, but up close it all was so much more. The pictures were larger and in them Isabella could see Alice’s eye for detail. Isabella felt overwhelmed as Alice’s scent bombarded her. It was as if she could taste her beautiful creature on her tongue, the aroma was so sweet. Isabella took in a deep pull of breath to bring in more of the fragrant, floral scent. She hoped she would never have to leave its intoxicating hold.

Alice stood by the door watching as the first person, not in her family, stepped in her bedroom. Alice’s mind raced at what Isabella could possibly be thinking as she drank in her surroundings. Suddenly it mattered to Alice how her room looked and what someone else thought of it. She wasn’t a messy person but her room was known to resemble the dressing room of an outlet mall at the end of a sale day. Outfit possibilities could cover every flat surface that was not the floor, but now there were only a few items haphazardly lying about; her recent depression slightly covering her usually multiple outfit changes. But still, Alice couldn’t help wonder if Isabella, the picture of minimalism, would find the space a bit overwhelming. Alice quietly watched the woman she was ready to chain to the floor. She desperately searched for something to say, but couldn’t reach anything.

Alice felt she should have apologized for her siblings’ behavior, both in the woods and the living room. She thought that maybe she should have assured the girl that Carlisle and Esme supported them and was happy for them both, but that may not have meant as much to the girl who didn’t know how supporting family should have been. No, Alice decided she needed to give Isabella her own assurance.

Isabella’s eyes fell on a silver frame that was set apart from all the other photographs. Her eyes moved past the shapes of the trees and vines; directly to the hidden figure who nestled in the back of the background. Isabella had reached to the smooth surface but pulled her hand back just shy of touching its polished face. The day filled Isabella’s mind as she remembered the feel and direction of the wind, and the look on Alice’s face in the distance as she admired the scene around her.

“Alice, I’m so sorry,” Isabella, whispered. She couldn’t turn to look at Alice. She was so tempted to run and leave, feeling as if she didn’t belong in this beautiful home with this beautiful woman.

“I know, Isabella, we already talked about this,” Alice responded, laying her hand softly on Isabella’s back.

“I don’t think you understand.” Isabella took a deep breath and closed her eyes, reopening them just as she turned to face Alice.

Alice face was covered with the same concern Isabella had seen for too many occasions between the two of them.

“For over a week I fought coming to you. I could feel this aching need, a desire, to be by your side and yet I avoid it. From the moment I left you alone in that tent I knew I was making a mistake. Leaving you never felt right, but I still left.”

“Isabella,” Alice tried to interrupt.

“I saw you, Alice!” Isabella screamed. The need to get it out was smothering her, and holding it in was making her feel as if she was going to die. “I saw you the night you collapsed in your yard, unable to speak. I watched your family carry you away. I followed your pain; it felt so much like my own. I tried to leave, but I couldn’t.”

“You . . . never left?” Alice asked moving slowly closer to the woman who was backing away from her with each step.

Isabella walked towards the window, looking out into the trees she trolled through for so long.

Pointing out of the window, Isabella continued, “I was there. I watched you every single day.” Isabella turned back to Alice, desperately looking into her eyes. She felt Alice deserved to know how selfish she was; how callus she was with the emotions of the person who loved her.

“I saw your pain. I saw your struggle. I saw how you ignored and pushed away your family as they attempted to comfort you. Above all else I knew I could stop it. I knew that you needed me, that it was my entire fault and I did nothing to help you,” Isabella’s voice grew louder.

She could here Alice’s family stirring about the house, likely listening. They needed more reason not to like Isabella and she couldn’t help but think she was giving them just that.

Alice silently, stood there trying to comprehend what she was hearing and why deep down inside it was upsetting her. With each word she heard it stung her more and more. She understood the denotation of each word, but yet she still didn’t understand how they could be coming from Isabella. The words “I know,” echoed in her head repeatedly.

“At first I didn’t know why I couldn’t leave.” Isabella smiled before continuing with, “Why I had to be around you every minute of every day.” The moment of happiness, thinking of her eagerness to return to Alice was replaced with the truth of how eager she was to leave Alice when it mattered the most.

“But, then?” Alice added, pulling Isabella from her twisted thoughts.

Alice stood before the woman she had only just reconciled with, wondering if the pain she was continuing to feel was ever going to end. Would the two of them ever be fully . . . okay?

“But then I knew it was love. I mean it had to be love, right?” Isabella’s eyes shifted around the room as she searched her brain for words. “I mean, I have never known real love and I have never felt anything as good and as powerful as this thing I feel for you, Alice. So wouldn’t that make this love?”

Isabella quickly paced the small space before the window in silence before continuing, “What am I saying? I know without question, Alice . . . I love you. I love you, Alice Cullen.” Isabella all but screamed as she walked towards Alice, taking the woman in her arms.

Each time Isabella said the words it all made more sense to her. She finally knew she was making the right choice and there was no one better than Alice. But Alice wasn’t as positive. She walked out of Isabella’s arms and around to the opposite side of her bed.

Quietly, Alice looked at Isabella, only her mind moving faster each second. She knew she still loved Isabella and doubted anything would change that. Alice thought about how she felt all of those days and nights as she waited on her heart to return to her and now that it had she stood as far from it as her room would allow. Even at the short distance she ached to be in Isabella’s arms again.

Did it matter that Isabella didn’t do things right the first time? How would Isabella know what love was or what they had found in each other? Isabella didn’t have what Alice had; years and years of examples of friendship, companionship, compassion, and love.

The longer Alice stood there only staring at the woman she wanted to take and hide away, the woman whose heart that claimed her from the start, the more she felt anything that had happened before that moment no longer mattered. This was their beginning and Alice wasn’t going to miss it.

“Alice, please say something,” Isabella begged. “Please?” Isabella reached out her hand towards Alice, over the bed that separated them.

Alice took a hold of Isabella’s hand as she climbed into the bed, standing on her knees. With a soft pull of her hand, Alice motioned for Isabella to do the same.

At the feel of Alice’s hand in hers, Isabella felt like she was whole again. It was a feeling she didn’t know what she has been doing without or before Alice. She couldn’t comprehend what she had when she found her but undoubtedly missed when Alice was gone from her side. Isabella let out a relieving breath as the smile on Alice’s face grew at Isabella’s approach.

“I love you, Isabella. I’ve loved you, I think, from the moment I first saw you. I can’t breathe when you aren’t near and right now I feel like I have somehow managed to dream a real dream at the sight of you here in my room.” Alice looked around the space that was once a place of singularity, but no longer. “No, this is our room now. What is mine is yours and together we will have so much more as ours. I want and I need you. The one thing I have come to know these last few weeks is that no matter what anyone else says or does, it will always be me and you. I plan on spending the rest of my existence proving this to you.”

Isabella looked down at their joined hands. Her eyes burned from a deep need to cry at the sound of Alice’s words, but there could never be tears. And while there was once a time where that inability to show a needed emotion, a release, made Isabella despise her life, now it was a welcome limitation because the abnormality that made it so also made her able to love Alice for longer than she even deserved. Lifting their joined hands to her lips, Isabella kissed the back of Alice’s hand. She allowed the feel of Alice’s skin on hers to sink deep into the part of her that once objected and feared contact.

“I will never deserve you, Alice.” 

Isabella gracefully pulled Alice closer to her body. It was Alice who pressed her lips to Isabella’s, no longer able to stand being apart. Alice’s hand slid around Isabella’s neck as she rubbed her thumbs across Alice’s lower back and hips. Their body slowly melding together, finding desire in the other and a growing comfort ability in each other’s presence.

Alice pulled away from Isabella’s embrace slowly, her hands wrapped around Isabella’s long ponytail, removing the binding that held it into place. Dark brown strands spread across Isabella’s neck and shoulders. Alice ran her hand from Isabella’s cheek and through the dark curtain of hair that started at Isabella’s temple, all the way down to their curly ends. Isabella closed her eyes at Alice’s intimate touch, kissing Alice’s wrist and forearm as they passed before her face. The feel of Alice’s nails softly running across Isabella’s scalp, reminded her of how it used to feel when her mother would brush her hair. That was all Isabella had as a basis to love. When her mother was brushing her hair there was never anger. It was just gentle and warm, and despite the length of time consuming it, it was their perfect time together. 

“Alice?”

“Yes, dear,” Alice responded. She looked at Isabella’s face and saw her eyes closed and her body relaxed.

“Would you do that again?”

“Do what?”

Isabella opened her eyes but felt too shy to look into Alice’s face. With her eyes cast down, looking at the dark space their two bodies created, Isabella said, “Run your hands through my hair again?”

Alice’s heart exploded with happiness and her smile showed as much. She wanted to give Isabella everything; this simple pleasure only being the beginning.

Alice moved away from Isabella, propping the pillows of her bed up along the head board. As Alice took off her shoes, Isabella watched as Alice made herself comfortable in the large bed.

“Come, babe,” Alice called to Isabella, patting her lap. Quickly Isabella discarded her own shoes, before laying her head in Alice’s lap.

Alice’s fingers quickly returned to their task, combing through a section of Isabella’s hair at a time. Isabella laid completely still on Alice’s lap, a hand resting on each side of Alice’s legs; one rubbed circles on Alice’s exposed thigh. Time moved around them as it always had.

Ooo0ooO

The morning sun found the two women in Alice’s bed still. Isabella was palpable in Alice’s hands. Alice continued to comfort Isabella as the night moved on.

Isabella’s mind raced over accepting this new feeling that she could only call real happiness, completeness. For so long Isabella remembered she knew occasional moments of happiness, such as when she realized she had real friends in Leah and Carmen. With Alice nothing was missing; she felt fullness, a euphoria that was as indescribable. There were still mountains to be climbed, such as the hurdle that was Alice’s family, but for the first time in her life Isabella knew she was not going to give up because this time quitting would cost her far too much.

Alice smiled as she held on tighter to the woman in her arms. Through the night, as she combed her fingers through Isabella’s long tresses, she vowed to herself to comfort the fragile girl for as long as it took. Nothing would get in the way of her loving the gentle soul of Isabella. Alice hoped and prayed that her family understood the feelings that she had for Isabella; they had all experienced it too. Alice knew definitively if she had to choose between the woman who was still very much a stranger and the family that rescued her, she knew she would choose this woman. She was prepared to spend all of her days convincing Isabella of just that fact.

Alice mind reeled over the idea of this thought over and over.

Sometime during the night, Alice wondered if Edward had been paying any attention to her thoughts, if Jasper had picked up on her love for Isabella, or if any of them had heard their conversation. Alice hoped that they all might have heard and now knew and understood: Isabella was it for her.

The early morning sunlight poured through the still open curtains. It broke through the window pane with yellow and orange rays. The light fell directly onto Isabella and Alice; their unique skin lightening up the space with a bright multitude of color and rainbows.

“Oh my goodness,” Alice gasped, looking at the colors that landed on her white walls.

Alice had admired her own diamond color effect many times, but now with Isabella’s added shine her room had never sparkled so brightly.

“What? What is it?” Isabella asked, rolling onto her back.

Alice eyes followed the light that moved with Isabella’s body.

“We’re beautiful,” Alice held her hand out in front of their faces as they both lay on their backs.

Isabella looked over into Alice’s genuine awe struck face and smiled. Repeatedly, she lifted her hand out before her and mimicked Alice’s movements.

“I mean of course I’ve seen our colors before, but this is so much brighter, so mesmerizing,” Alice paused looking into Isabella’s clear gray eyes, which turned to look at her. “So unique.” 

Isabella moved to her side, taking Alice in her arms and covering her lips in a slow kiss.

“You’re always beautiful, Alice,” Isabella responded.

“So are you, love.”

“No beauty compares to you, Alice, physically or otherwise.” Isabella stroked Alice cheek.

There was nothing to rush out of the bed for. The two moved from the others reach yet; staying in physical contact at all times. There were stories told and more explanations given. There were moments where tears should have been shed if possible. The laughs were the best part, along with the ability to say they were getting to know one another. They didn’t watch the sun set, but instead the diming of their own colors along the walls.

“Tell me more about your gift,” Alice asked after comfortable silence sat between them.

The two of them set apart from one another, legs folded underneath them. Isabella played with her fingers as Alice toyed with the pillow that lay in her lap.

“Gift? No . . . I don’t see it that way. Besides you pretty much know everything.”

“I think it’s a gift.”

“It hasn’t given me anything good. It normally shows me things I don’t care to see.” Isabella folded her arms, looking out the window. The sun had set but it was far from dark.

“Not a single sight of something good?”

“Nothing about the past is good, or could possibly be good.” Isabella attempted to look everywhere but at Alice, and Alice knew it. “I think you have a gift,” Isabella continued, forcing a smile.

“Yeah, it can be good. It’s how I found my family. It’s how I help to keep us safe, but that can change with the switch of a thought. It can be good and bad.”

“Why is that?”

“It’s hard sometimes knowing everything before it happens. Life should be exciting; munexpected. My gift,” Alice pointed a finger at herself, “can sometimes take that away.” Alice took Isabella by the hand before continuing, “I did try to use it though to look for you,” she confessed.

“You did?”

“I thought that if I could just ‘see’ you then I could find you . . . maybe even convince you to stay. But it didn’t work.”

“What do you mean, Alice? You did find me.”

“Not because I could see you but because I was able to see my family. I don’t know which of my sibling’s decision I was seeing, but because of it I was able to stop it. See? Something good.”

Alice looked to Isabella who didn’t look much convince by Alice’s words. Siting her pillow to the side Alice moved closer to her.

“I’m so sorry for the piece of your past you do remember. I hate that the first use of your gift was so . . . graphic,” Alice said as she searched Isabella’s eyes. “But now you have something to look back on and I hope it makes you happy.”

Isabella smile slowly grew as her eyes drifted around the room as if a clue to what Alice implied was present.

Finally, giving up on finding the answer, Isabella said, “What’s that, Alice?”

“We got to meet. Or at least I hope that was a good thing.”

“Of course it was! It was the best thing that ever happened to me, Alice, but it was a rocky start.”

“We will make up for that.” Alice crawled into Isabella’s arms. With Isabella hands in Alice’s hair and her arm around her waist, their slow kiss was deep and playful.

Isabella was finding her comfort in being able to touch Alice so freely; something she wanted to do from the first time she saw her. She pulled Alice completely over her body, making her hold on the girl tighter. Isabella prayed there would never be a day she would have to go without Alice’s touch again.

“Alice, why do you think we don’t see each other’s past and future?”

“I don’t know,” Alice said, before continuing, “Maybe because I don’t think much about my past . . . I don’t remember most of it; and you never think about your future . . . You keep running away from it.”

Isabella thought on Alice’s words and for the moment she did think on the idea she believed Alice was correct. It made sense to Isabella that Alice would not think about a past that was filled with abandonment, mental hospitals, and waking up alone, not knowing who or what she was. Isabella fought the thoughts of her past tooth and nail, until nothing could make them rear their ugly head.

She couldn’t speak for Alice but she knew her own future didn’t really mean much to her before she met a golden-eyed vampire wondering the forest. She still didn’t understand how Alice didn’t see her decision to run away; the one decision that was always set in stone. Then Isabella thought that maybe it was the slightest shadow of doubt she always had about what she should do with herself, even before meeting Alice. Leaving her circuses was always a plan but there were always moments she hoped for another option. Could it be that the small grain of hope shielded her future from Alice’s eyes? It was something to think about.

Alice watched Isabella’s face from her place across Isabella’s lap. She watched as the muscles in Isabella’s face twitched slightly. The look in Isabella eyes was far off, looking past the now. Alice had mentally notated the small mannerism as Isabella’s tell. Alice knew Isabella was thinking and she was okay with knowing that she wouldn’t know what Isabella was thinking--what she had decided on--until Isabella made the decision to tell Alice, herself. And even then, the knowledge would come verbally, not psychically.

“Does it bother you that you can’t see me? Does it bother you that I could be a threat to you, to your family, and not know it?

Alice sat up from her relaxed position; her actions caused Isabella to sit up as well. Alice wanted to make sure Isabella understood every word she was going to say.

“Isabella, I know you are not a threat to me. I may not be able to see your decisions but Edward can read your thoughts and Jasper can sense your emotions. If they thought we were in any physical danger they would not be hesitant to act.”

Isabella bowed her head. She asked for that answer and really she already knew it to be true. She knew Edward and Jasper had already assessed her threat to their life the moment Alice escorted her into their yard, let alone their home. Yet there was a sting to hearing Alice say the very words aloud.

Alice knew Isabella’s thoughts had turn to the worst. She quickly added, “There are so many ways for a threat to be assessed, but Isabella, I know you are no danger to me or my family because of one reason,” Alice said as she placed her hand over Isabella’s silent heart.

“This is the part of you that speaks to me, that tells me that every word you have been brave enough to tell me is true, that from this moment forward you will do nothing to hurt me intentionally,” Alice added.

Isabella slowly placed her hand over Alice’s chest, just as Alice’s hand was placed on her chest.

“Our gifts—our power— are important, they are helpful, but they are not who we are, Isabella. I am content with not seeing your decisions and I hope you are okay with not seeing my past.”

Isabella nodded her head at Alice’s words. She didn’t need to see Alice’s past to know that she had always been good.

“So we complement each other,” Isabella whispered, her voice lost to the emotions she felt for the woman who was touching her soul.

“Yeah, we do.”

There were no more rainbows on the walls. Alice’s scent was still there but its heavy saturation was more like a subtle reminder of where Isabella was and who she was with. Isabella could hear Alice’s family moving about the house around her. She thought of if one day they would be family to her as well, or would she always be, in their eyes, “the one who hurt Alice.” She stroked Alice’s back as she stared into the ceiling, trying to think of her future, but it still would not come to her.

Isabella knew there must have been something wrong with her. Why couldn’t she see a future that seemed so clear; so obvious? As sure as Alice was sitting in her arms, she knew she wasn’t going anywhere; not this time. It pained her to know that Alice’s siblings didn’t approve of her, but deep down inside she didn’t care. She wanted to be selfish and she was going to be selfish by giving Alice everything she could; including the future she couldn’t fathom in her own mind. Though their tomorrow was unthinkable for her, Isabella’s mind was far from vacant of a thought of Alice. Alice’s skin, her touch, her smell, and the sound of her voice was drawing Isabella in and holding her captive.

Isabella moved her hand up Alice’s thigh to the hips that sat just above them. Alice could feel Isabella’s hands trembling on her skin. They shared nervousness, but there was no other place Alice wanted to be.

Isabella had already noted her obsession with the skin of Alice’s abdomen. It was as a forbidden fruit that made her fingers tingle at the tips and tasted sinfully sweet on her tongue. Her thumb circled over the flesh that covered Alice’s hip. She placed a feather light trail of kisses from her left side toward her belly button. Alice scent smothered her and ignited a feeling in her she had only felt from the woman who lay before her. That feeling was hot and deep and made the life force of their bodies rush and her flesh sensitive. Her hands moved on their own seeking out some part of Alice to touch. Her breathing became ragged and unsteady. When she held her breath she could feel it pulsating in her chest like a long gone heartbeat. It was a long needy feeling that Isabella welcomed and yet felt she couldn’t control.

Isabella circled her nose around Alice’s belly button holding her lips there as she tasted the skin with her tongue. Alice breath caught in her throat. She pulled at the sheets at her side as her legs trembled. Alice liked the hot feeling that overcame her at such closeness and intimacy. She needed Isabella and the kisses that continued down the right side of her body towards her hips. She felt the trail of heat that was left behind as Isabella teased her along her right side, towards her collar bone, her neck and finally her lips. Isabella weight on her body was oddly comfortable and welcomed. Alice raised her leg to force Isabella to sink further into her waiting full body embrace.

Isabella looked deep into Alice’s eyes.

“I don’t know what to do,” Isabella confessed.

“I don’t either,” Alice whispered. “I’ve never . . .”

“Me either.”

Isabella stroked Alice’s cheek as she continued to look into her face. A smile spread across Alice’s lips that only made Isabella smile.

“What are you smiling about?” Isabella touched Alice’s lips making her smile harder.

Alice ran her finger into the front of Isabella hair. Isabella’s eyes closed at her lover’s touch and she placed a kiss onto Alice’s wrist.

“Maybe this is intimate enough for us. We don’t really have to rush anything.”

Isabella sighed, “Yeah, I know but, I don’t want to wait.”

“You don’t?”

“No, Alice. I want to be closer and closer to you. I feel like we have already waited long enough for one another. I want to give you something that I have never given anybody before.”

“You already have,” Alice said as she placed her hand over the spot where Isabella’s heart once beat.

Isabella nodded her head. None had ever had her heart and now Alice did. She had never felt more comfortable, more alive more needed and above all else, more wanted than she did with Alice. With that thought Isabella pushed her fears a side and made love to Alice.

Moans fell from their lips as the tentatively touched each other’s flesh hidden below clothes. They undressed each other; exposing themselves more and more. Neither woman had ever been seen so openly but it was Isabella who attempted to hide herself. She felt there was no beauty about in her; nothing compared to Alice’s small doll like frame.

“You just don’t see yourself clearly,” Alice said. She looked deep into Isabella’s eyes before continuing, “you are very beautiful and there is nothing to make me change how I see you.”

Unfolding Isabella’s arms, Alice trailed her hand along Isabella’s collarbone. Her skin felt warm to Alice’s touch but she knew it was an illusion of their similar temperature. With her hand flat on Isabella’s stomach she stretched her body to kiss the girl shaking in her arms. Isabella calmed beneath the kiss; her eyes closed and in her mind she didn’t worry about anything but the feelings Alice gave her. Alice slowed the deep kiss down to a peck. Taking advantage of Isabella calm body and closed eyes, Alice chanced looking at her mate. As her eyes moved further down the woman’s body so did her hand. A feather touch made Alice more and more acquainted with the skin between Isabella’s breast and the shape of her sides and hips.

“Beautiful,” Alice whispered.

Isabella opened her eyes looking down to find Alice’s doll face staring up at her. Alice gently pushed her timid lover until she laid flat on her back. Without saying a word Alice climbed across her lover, fully exposing her own naked body for Isabella to see. Alice had never had someone see her so openly but she knew in her heart of hearts that no one would ever see her as Isabella saw her; physically or otherwise.

Shy looks gave way to looks of heated determination. Kisses and touches overtook the shy and timid movements. The longer Alice and Isabella stayed in each other’s arm the more uncertainty of their decision began to fade away. Isabella allowed her hands to live out the fantasies her mind had dreamed up every time she watched the way Alice moved, heard Alice’s voice, or thought of Alice’s scent. Her nighttime thoughts, her faux dreams for the human’s sake were filled with possibilities of moments of sex and passion with Alice and with the gift finally in her hand, she never wanted to let it go.

Together they extinguished desire that they conjured up in each other and let go in places of new feelings and passion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading


	10. Nobody and Somebody

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has been a while . . .  
> Characters are the property of Stephanie Meyers, author of The Twilight Saga.  
> This story idea is the property of Chewie4370 and should not be republished without express consent.

Content Not To See

Chapter Ten

The week before Alice didn’t want to leave her room because she didn’t want to face life. She still didn’t want to face life, but now for a different reason. Alice didn’t want to deal with her family, and more than that, she didn’t want Isabella to have to deal with them either. In her room was the love of her life, the end of loneliness, and the beginning of something new. As she stroke Isabella’s face she thought of new places they could go and things they could do together. Isabella had done as much travelling as Alice had, but maybe there was a place Isabella could show her or a place they could explore together.

They attentively explored each other for the first time, but Alice knew there was more for them, more expression and more need. There was a lot between them that hadn’t yet developed in the few short weeks they secretly met in the forest, or the day and a half they spent locked away in Alice’s bedroom. There were more conversations to be had and wounds to heal, painful memories to erase and a future to create. All those things were a part of a future that they couldn’t get to until they walked out of that room and faced the day. They had to face a new difficulty that lied ahead of them.

Isabella lay wrapped in the sheets of the bed, facing Alice, her eyes closed. Alice looked at the girl and was perplexed by the juxtaposition of her. Alice saw a fighter – she had to be one to go against Victoria and to survive on her own for so long in the woods and amongst human. Yet, Alice also saw a fragile, young girl who had barely grown up and never knew unconditional love. She was uncertain of herself and everyone and everything around her. What she knew of herself was tainted with Victoria’s anger and her family abandoning her. Isabella was wounded and it was one of those deep wounds, which the correction power of the vampire venom coursing through their vains couldn’t fix. Alice wondered if she could fix it or would subjecting Isabella to her family only make the wound worst. 

But it wasn’t Alice’s choice. At some point they would have to face the rest of the house. Soon, they would have to leave their solitude and discuss life beyond the day. Would they stay or would they go? What would Alice want? What would Isabella need? If they stayed, would the family behave? What would happen when it was time to pack away and head to Forks? Did Isabella have a place in those plans now? 

The longer Alice laid at Isabella’s side thinking the more she realized she didn’t have a say in anything; she didn’t have control over a single thing. Isabella had to decide what she could and would be willing to accept from Alice and her family and all the changes that would be thrown her way. Isabella had to decide if she was strong enough, or more so if she loved Alice enough for it all. And it was up to the family if they would behave or if they would continue to act uncharacteristically like savages towards Isabella; harbor hate and misunderstanding and lack sympathy. The only thing Alice had a say in was her response to it all and the determination to stick by Isabella’s side no matter what. Even if that meant she had to leave the family that she loved to be with the woman that she loved.

“Alice?” Isabella whispered.

“Yes?”

“What are you thinking?” Isabella opened her eyes. She saw the look on Alice’s face that showed her uncertainty. Somehow Isabella felt it before she ever saw Alice’s face. She didn’t understand how, but she knew.

“A lot of things.”

Isabella set up on the bed and moved away from Alice. She picked up the shirt that lay on the floor, taking a seat at the window bench. Alice was surprised by Isabella movement. She wanted to ask where she was going, but she couldn’t get the words out of her mouth.

“’A lot’ of things including: what to do with your family and what to do with me?”

“I know what to do with you, love you. As far as my family,” Alice said.

“Alice, we can’t avoid it forever. I didn’t come back to make things difficult for you.” Isabella rubbed her eyes, followed by gnawing at her finger nails.

“I know you didn’t, Isabella,” Alice moved towards the end of the bed, wanting to be closer to her.

Isabella tugged on her shirt, trying to cover more of her legs. The shirt wasn’t giving any more than it already had, but that didn’t stop her from trying over and over again.

Alice could sense something was wrong but she wasn’t’ sure what. Alice was tired of trying to figure things out; assuming what she wanted and what she needed. She found herself continually in the wrong when she tried to think that way. The last few weeks were filled with nothing but questions and assumptions, on both Alice and Isabella’s part. Alice could only think how she was handicapped without the ability to see Isabella in her mind. If Isabella wanted this to work, she would have to open her mouth and talk to her. If not, she was going to drive herself crazy every single day questioning Isabella actions and her motives.

Alice just waited at the end of the bed; tugging on the blanked that did a much better job of covering her than the shirt that Isabella wore.

“I’m not going to stay, Alice.” 

Alice wasn’t sure what she heard or how could they be back in this place again. Alice heart dropped and ears sounded as if her head was being dunked repeatedly under water. The swooshing was loud and it was starting to feel like the water was rushing through her ears and into her nose and throat. She couldn’t breathe and despite the lack of the need to, it was hurting her on the inside. It was like a different kind of wind was being knocked out of her. 

“Isabella, why do you keep doing this to me?” Alice wasn’t sure if she had said the words out loud or if they were stuck in the oceans that were clouding her mind and ears. The water in Alice’s ears should have fallen like tears it seemed to be so much. 

“I’m trying to do what is best for you, Alice. I don’t want to hurt you and I think if I stay here I would be doing that over and over and over again.” Isabella hadn’t looked up from the floor, nor had she stopped pulling on her shirt. 

Isabella’s words were garbled in Alice’s ears, but she could understand her. It was as if Alice was hearing Isabella with more than just her ears. She could hear Isabella’s words in the breaking of her heart, repeatedly.

“Have you not realized that it is when you aren’t with me that you are hurting me? Has these two weeks not shown that? We hurt each other more when we are apart.” Or maybe it was just me who was hurting when I couldn’t touch her, kiss her, and breathe her,” Alice thought to herself.

“You said,” Alice stood to her feet, standing over Isabella, pointing out of the window, “that you sat there and watched me and it hurt you and you couldn’t move and you didn’t want to leave me. You said that you promised you weren’t going anywhere ever again. You said that to me! Were you lying to me, Isabella? Are you still lying to me, Isabella?”

“I don’t want to be without you, Alice. I won’t be far from you, but you need your family. We can’t hide in this room forever. We’re going to have to face them. I won’t walk around here and make your life difficult for you. That isn’t fair to you or to me.”

“So you’re going to use them as an excuse to leave me again? Is it all of a sudden easier to leave?” Alice was ready for the water to take her, to drawn her and all the pain into which she was being pulled back. She didn’t understand why she couldn’t just float away from it all.

She could feel the breath in her throat repeatedly catch. The edges of Alice’s vision darkened. The water was finally filling up around her; about to take her away for the last time. Or maybe it was the darkness again reaching for Alice. She thought about how comfortable and certain the darkness was, after her screaming stopped. Then it was warm and painless. It was like a lost friend soothing away the ache. It was reaching for Alice again and this time it was taking the sound away from her with it. Alice thought how she wouldn’t fight it this time. She was going to claim it and accept it until the end.

“Alice! Alice? Can you hear me?” Isabella tugged at Alice’s arms, shaking her.

The sheet slipped from Alice’s arms and body; Alice doing nothing to support it, or herself. 

“Alice, listen to me,” Isabella said, as she sat her on the window seat. Her hands were warm and tingled at the skin of Alice’s cheeks as she took Alice face in both of her hands; turning Alice head towards her. 

“Does she still see me there, or was she seeing me fade away? Alice asked herself. She didn’t have the nerve to ask Isabella.

“Alice, I’m so sorry. I’m so bad at this. I don’t ever do anything right when it comes to you.” Isabella closed her eyes and took a deep breath. 

Alice watched her. When she opened her eyes again there was a determination there on Isabella’s face.

“Alice, I am not leaving you. I am with you for eternity. I am so sorry I scared you. Please come back to me. I see you slipping away. Alice, I simply mean I can’t live here in this house; not yet anyway. It’s not right, yet.” Isabella’s eyes searched over Alice’s entire face, looking for life to return. “Please say something?”

Isabella’s voice began to shake. She was beginning to break down. Her head fell into Alice’s lap. She didn’t understand how she could be so stupid; how her words could hurt Alice so quickly. She didn’t stop to think how her words sounded. 

The evident of Alice quick descent away, her heart quickly retreating in an attempt to save itself from being hurt again, was just more evident of the pain that Isabella had caused Alice. It was evident that she still wasn’t good enough for Alice. Despite the two days they spent opening up, sharing, hiding away and kissing away the pain that Isabella had caused it still was there, hiding in the heart and mind of the woman she loved. Isabella couldn’t help to thinks that maybe one day she would hurt Alice again, on purpose or on mistake, and if that would be the time that Alice couldn’t take it anymore. 

Alice placed her hands on Isabella’s hair, slowly waking from the catastrophic moment. The water in her ears began to recede and the oceans of confusion hadn’t drug her away. Isabella was leaving but she wasn’t leaving her. The understanding broke through, if only long enough for her to get her mind around the words Isabella meant. She couldn’t stay in the house. It was too uncomfortable. Rosalie and Jasper, Emmett and Edward weren’t going to make it easy. Alice wasn’t so far gone in love that she didn’t recognize that truth. She wasn’t so full of herself and her wants that she couldn’t think past it to see that as much as she wanted Isabella to stay right where she was that maybe things were moving too fast, not just for Isabella but for everyone. There was going to be some adjustments and things were off to a rocky start.

She stroked her beauty’s hair softly, gently nudging the woman back to her. Isabella raised her head; seeing Alice’s eyes clearer and alert.

“Oh my god, Alice! Don’t do that to me again, please, you can’t leave me like that,” Isabella begged, hugging Alice tighter than she ever held onto anything.

“I don’t know what happened. I guess I kind of freaked out for a moment,” Alice said. Embarrassments weld up in her. 

“No, No! It was my fault. I didn’t say that right. God,” Isabella mentally berated herself again. “See I just keep hurting you, over and over again.”

“We’re going to figure this out, Isabella,” Alice said pulling the woman up to the seat beside her. “I guess I just have to trust what you say.”

“You have every reason not to trust me. I now all of this is my fault. It shouldn’t have had to be this way; this hard.” Isabella walked away from Alice, taking a seat back on the bed. 

The sun had begun to come up more in the window behind them as they shock off the panic attack; another moment of reminder that they had so much pain to work through. It had only been weeks. They had only known each other for a few weeks, discovered each other and yet it seemed like for every happy moment there was already a hard moment. 

“Okay, listen,” Alice joined Isabella on the bed, “let’s start this morning again.” The sound of her heart drowning had passed her and she could think clearly. 

“Start over,” Isabella laughed, but there was no humor in her voice. “We can do that?”

“We can do whatever we want, love.”

The two stared at each other. Alice’s smile warmed Isabella. She rubbed her hand down Alice’s face, and watched as her eyes closed in delight. From her words that stung Alice to her touch that could bring her back to life, Isabella didn’t understand how she had so much power. She didn’t want to abuse it.

“Good morning, beautiful,” Isabella said.

“Good morning, love.”

“I can’t believe I’m here with you. I got to wake up again to see your face; feel your touch. Having my sight back never meant much to me before you came into my life. I would burn a thousand more times in this change if it meant I can see your smile again.” 

Isabella pulled Alice from the spot before her, and into her waiting lap. Stretching, Isabella wrapped Alice around her out stretched legs. Gently she pulled Alice towards her waiting lips, pressing their lips together. Alice didn’t hesitate to taste the sweetness of Isabella; her scent enveloping her. Isabella’s hand tangled in Alice’s hair holding her securely in that place. The feeling of ecstasy began to coil in Isabella’s stomach again. With her eyes closed she could still see images of Alice’s smiling face and the moments when ecstasy softened her edges and even her peaceful profile as she lay in Isabella’s arm. Each image pushed Isabella more to the desire to hold onto the gift that was Alice. But the moment would have to wait; there was still more to discuss.

Isabella pulled away from Alice with one last peck to the lips. 

“I love you, Isabella,” Alice said; her eyes still closed and her body still wrapped around Isabella’s body.

“I love you too, Alice.” Isabella looked at the smile she brought to Alice’s face, hoping that she could to this right this time, keeping that smile right there. 

“Alice, I never want to be without you near me, but I don’t think that it’s a good idea that I move in here with your family yet. I made a mistake,” Isabella started, but was interrupted by Alice. “Just listen to me, please?”

Alice nodded her head. She reminded herself that they could not afford any more assumptions.

“When I heard your family in the woods two days ago I planned on approaching them. Letting them meet me before I came to you. But that didn’t work out right. I already had hurt you and for that they were going to be leery of me, so the attack in the woods only made matters worse.”

“But it wasn’t your fault! Jasper attacked you first,” Alice interrupted again.

“Love, it doesn’t matter who attacked who. All that matters is that I could have stopped all of this days ago. I could have made this easier on both of us weeks ago. But I didn’t. I let being afraid stop me. I let being afraid hurt you.” Isabella fought the self-hate that was welling up inside of her. She wasn’t worthy to be loved and trusted by anyone epically someone as kind as Alice, she thought to herself. But she tried not to let those thoughts stop her. If she was being selfish to allow Alice to love her than she would hold on to it for as long as she could.

“And so you’re leaving again?” Alice asked.

“I’m not leaving, Alice. Stop saying it that way. I will just be staying somewhere else. You will still see me every day. I will still see you every day. I know it won’t be easy, I finally got you back,” Isabella rubbed her hands down Alice’s exposed collar bone. She placed a kiss to the side of Alice’s neck, drinking in her scent that exploded from her there.

“Where would you go? Back to the trees?” Alice said, only half joking. Alice heart dropped again. The water began to swell in her ears, but she tried hard to still hear. She didn’t know what she was going to do if every word from Isabella, that she didn’t want to hear, was going to cause her to react so extremely. 

“I don’t know yet, I have money. Maybe you can help me find a place? I haven’t been a part of society in quite a while.” Isabella laid back against the bed, her head resting on the pillow that Alice used the night before. She held Alice to her chest, not allowing her to move way. 

Alice had no intentions of moving.

“You will know exactly where to find me. I will see you all the time. I’m sure your family will appreciate me not being here, Alice.”

“I don’t care what they will appreciate,” Alice raised her head from Isabella’s chest. The water soared above level at the thought of what her family would and wouldn’t appreciate. They already had their happily ever after. All Alice could think about was that it was time for her to have her own now.

Alice wasn’t there when the family first began to grow, but Jasper and Emmett stayed with Edward and Rosalie the moment they found each other according to all the stories the family shared with her over the years. They didn’t live apart out of respect for everyone else. She hated that her love story had to be an exception to the unwritten tradition. 

“Yes, you do care,” Isabella’s voice brought her back to the present. “That’s the kind of person you are. You’re kind and loving and happy and you want others to be happy, including your family.”

Alice laid her head back on Isabella’s chest. She didn’t want to confirm or deny Isabella’s words. They sat in silence; Isabella rubbing her hand down Alice’s back; Alice grasping Isabella’s shirt as if the elusive woman was going to dart away from her at any moment.

“Well, if not for your family than remember that it will help me as well.”

“Help you how? You still don’t know what you want? You still need time?” Alice rolled from Isabella’s body and took the spot of the bed where Isabella had “slept” peacefully the previous night.

“No, I know what I want: you! But I don’t know how to be with you, Alice. I’ve never been with anyone. I’ve never lived with anyone for more than a few years and even then it was hardly living. It’s going to be different for me being around so many people; people like me, for such a long time.”

Alice still didn’t understand. It was another thing she didn’t have to experience. She lived on her own for a decade before she found her family. The moment she stepped into their home it immediately became her home. She wasn’t uncomfortable. She wasn’t worried. She was happy. Her visions had made it all possible, but she liked to think that even if she wasn’t able to see the future that she still would have been content and able to find the peace that the Cullen’s provided her. It was hard for her to phantom Isabella’s discomfort. Despite all that Isabella had shared with her, Alice still didn’t understand it. It was different, but she had to trust that Isabella knew what it was that she needed.

“Okay, “Alice finally relented. “I don’t understand it and it scares me, Isabella, I won’t lie to you.” Alice stopped to call her mind to control the muffled sounds in her ears again; letting the water recede. “But I have to trust you; I have to trust that you say you aren’t leaving me again.”

Alice rolled back into Isabella’s arm. Alice’s words stung Isabella though she wasn’t entirely certain why. Again the reminder that she may have damaged the bond that her and Alice shared stabbed at her heart. She would have to work, not only to understand a different life, a life surrounded by others, and show Alice’s family that she wanted nothing more than to be with Alice, but also prove her words to Alice. Fear welled in her again; anxiety that maybe she couldn’t do this after all swallowed her from the inside. The fear of everything, every word and every change and every new thing she would have to learn and become tore at her mind. She could only hope she was stronger than she thought she was.

“Isabella,” Alice interrupted Isabella’s self-doubting thoughts, “can we stay like this for just one more day. Tomorrow things can change?”

“Yeah, I’d like that,” Isabella said, closing her eyes, erasing her thoughts, focusing only on the scent of Alice.

xXx

She said that she wasn’t leaving, but as Alice escorted Isabella out of the room and down the stairs that morning, it felt like Isabella was already gone. And though the day was going to be spent together, helping Isabella find somewhere to stay, Alice couldn’t shake that feeling that what she was actually doing was finding a way for them to be apart. 

As they walked past Alice’s siblings that morning there was an array of emotions. Alice still felt the hurt and betrayal of her family. The heavy emotion coated her thought process, leaving no escape for the shredded of understanding that she had. And she did understand, just not enough. She clinched Isabella’s hand; walking with her head down as she passed by Alice’s siblings. Alice could feel the fear and uncertainty rolling off her love. She thought how Isabella became so reserved around other people; so withdrawn. It was that additional feeling that fueled the anger over the understanding; Alice knew that. She also knew at some point she would forgive her family and move on, start on the very happily-ever-after she knew that she and Isabella could have, but she also knew that the day was not that day. And she wondered if every time she had to return to that house, without Isabella in tow, would that feeling continue. She had never felt true anger or disappointment in her family. She didn’t know what to expect or how long it could last.

Her family looked at her with the same level of uncertainty. She could feel and she knew with certainty the emotions of Isabella, but she couldn’t place that of her siblings. She couldn’t phantom why they, of all people, would be angry, but that was the only word that she could put to the face of Edward, and Rosalie. Emmett looked disappointed and yet protective even still and Jasper looked both hurt and lost. The only one who looked at her with sympathy, love, and compassion was Esme. She wore a faint smile at the corner of her lips. 

Alice and Isabella walked past them all, with not so much as a good morning or a goodbye. There was no talk of when she would return or if she would be alone. Alice rationed that they all likely overheard the conversation she and Isabella shared over the last two and a half days and that was all the information they needed. Alice thought to herself that she wished she and Isabella could just run off together and leave everything else behind. She had no worries of starting over. She had no worries of what could be lost.

It was at that moment she caught a glimpse of Edward’s face shift from angry to surprised and sullen. She knew he had heard her thoughts. She didn’t care; she didn’t try to explain them silently to her brother. Alice continued to dag Isabella behind her towards the garage; leaving Edward to deal with it on his own.

Isabella was shocked at the bright yellow Porsche that which a door was opened to her. She thought how the color matched Alice’s personality, bright, and the car was definitely beautiful, just like Alice. 

“What can I say: I like extravagant things,” Alice responded to Isabella’s questioning stare. 

As Alice drove them away Isabella’s mind began to think over something else that never accord to her: could she give Alice the life she was accustomed too, was that all of that matter to Alice? She knew she wasn’t without her own resources. She had done well for herself, needing so little as she bound from place to place, from circus to circus; spending very little. Yet, it seemed it was nothing in comparison to what Alice was, had, or possibly expected.

“Where are we going?” She asked Alice.

Alice was lost in her own thoughts of what to expect. Still worried what any other space between the two of them could do.

“To an employee of my family, if you will.” Alice answered, without further explanation.

Isabella didn’t want to ask what she meant. They pulled in front of a warned down store front. On both sides of the building were narrow allies and more buildings that looked as if they saw better days long ago. The ally to the right of the door was occupied by two men, one standing, leaning against the wall, and another sitting in a metal chair with his elbows on his knees; hands clasped together. Isabella eyes drifted to the park that was directly across the street. Three other men stood there against the fence of the vacant park. The cloudy day added an extra layer of gloom to the already dilapidated neighborhood. Isabella wasn’t use to being around characters of such a level of shadiness. Circus people had a different presence of unsavory characteristics and that was enough for Isabella. She had learned to avoid uncertain places such as this when she was alone; not wanting to defend herself the only way she knew how. As she rounded the car taking Alice’s hand she noticed the man in the ally stood from his seat and the remaining man stood up straighter. Isabella glanced in Alice’s direction. She looked the definition of calm and non-threaten. 

They made it to the front door of the building in which they had parked. Alice rang the doorbell and the action irritated Isabella. They were not in the best of neighborhoods and the proprietor had the audacity to lock their door. The hairs on the back of her neck stood on end as she watched the men who stood behind her in the park, through the dark, dirty glass of the shop’s window. The men in the park crossed the street. Isabella held tighter to Alice’s hand, gaining her attention. Each passing second seemed like a moment closer that Isabella was going to have to defend herself and the love of her life from less than savory characters that were surrounding her. Just as the three men made it across the street, joining their must-be associates in the ally, Isabella heard someone approach the door. She could only see a piece of the man through the horridly damaged blinds that covered the door from the inside. He was a young man, but he looked a lot less threatening than those who were encroaching on her and Alice.

“Appointment?” The man said; his voice shaky with uncertainty.

“Cullen for Jenks,” Alice responded. The patience Isabella had seen in Alice’s face was not present in her voice. 

The sound of locks and knobs clicking quickly on the other side of the door gave Isabella hope. She pulled Alice through the door before it could be fully open to them. The man was even younger than Isabella could see through the window. She was thankful he locked the doors behind them. He was weary and Isabella wondered if he was even twenty years old. His dark brown hair fell in his face, but intentionally evident by the sides being shaved closed to his head. 

“You must be Mike,” Alice stated rather than asked. For the first time it was Isabella who stood before Alice, prepared to protect if need be. Alice had explained that there would be nothing to worry about, but Isabella felt she could never be too cautious.

“Ye- yeah, I am,” he stuttered, never looking Alice, or Isabella, in the eye. “Jenks is waiting for you in the back.” 

Isabella could smell the fear that was pouring out of his pores. The scent surrounded him even more so as he wiped his hands on his apron. 

Isabella and Alice followed the boy through the back of the shop, squeezing between shelves of paper and boxes. The scent of human was faint in the small shop. Mike’s scent was the only living blood that seemed to permeate every square inch. The only other smell was familiar to Isabella but couldn’t be certain of its origin. The smell was of heavy old earth. The scent rested heavily on every paper surface and only became more concentrated as they moved further through the building. The dark space was stuffy, lacking in windows. Isabella looked at the walls, seeing only vents high above them. Before her was a long marble tables littered with documents. She recognized the seal for the state of New York. The cream colored paper looked official and with the slots for information she was able to recognize it was going to be someone’s new birth certificate. 

Mike had walked around the marble table and took up statue position in the corner. Directly behind the table was another door. Isabella could barely make out that the door was open but the darkness that poured from it wasn’t natural. She cautiously looked around the small rectangle room. Alice stood directly beside her, still holding her hand. Isabella kept the door in which they transferred directly behind her, prepared to quickly depart. She tried to draw on Alice’s calm and obvious certainty of the situation and her surroundings, but she couldn’t quite accomplish the feat. 

A figure filled the door, spilling into the room, making the space that much smaller. Isabella realized then that the extra scent was just as she suspected. It was the crimson eyes she saw first. The unearth smell saturating the room; eclipsing even that of the sweet scent of Alice she had begun to grow accustom too. It was all that she had to focus on other than Alice’s touch when she was so uncertain and now it was completely masked by the ancient vampire that sat before her. His red eyes borrowed into Isabella, almost knowingly but Isabella knew that couldn’t be. She had never met him before, and she was certain if they had ever crossed path she would have departed quickly.

“Alice Brandon-Cullen,” he hissed, his eyes never leaving Isabella. “Now sweets, you know I don’t permit any additional visitors.”

“Jenks, after all of these years you still don’t trust me, all that my family request of you. We alone keep you in business.” Alice words were cocky.

“All the same, I would have liked a little bit of advance notice,” he finally broke his eyes away from Isabella, falling on Alice.

“Well consider this your future notice. Isabella needs documents, and as a new member of our family, you can add her to our account for all future needs.” Alice cut her eyes towards Isabella looking for any look of rejection to her words. Her stomach leaped to see no response from Isabella.

“Well is that so?” Jenks eyes fell on the joined hands of Isabella and Alice. “I guess congratulations are in order then.”

Isabella noticed the eerie smile of the shop keeper which was only slightly more alarming than the quick downcast look of Alice’s face.

“So,” Jenks said echoed by the thundering clap of his hands. Isabella saw Mike jump just as quickly as she herself had at the sound. “What kind of documents are we doing today?”

“We need the Deluxe package,” Alice answered.

“Oh, really? Well isn’t somebody a little nobody,” Jenks’s eyes raked over Isabella. 

Isabella didn’t like the sound of being “a nobody,” but there were truth there, she guessed if she had to be honest with herself.

“Well, let’s at least start with some of the basics?” Jenks pulled out a wooden pen. “The trick in this trade is not to create, but to edit. Where were you born?”

“I’m not sure. I believe in Arizona,” Isabella said looking at Alice as if she would know the answer. 

“And when were you born?” Jenks ask ready to jot down the answer.

“I don’t know.”

“Hmm, no age. How about your parents; who were they? Jenks asked.

“I don’t know that either. I don’t remember much.” Isabella felt Alice sad eyes on her. 

“Well how long ago where you changed?” Jenks voice grew with frustration. The sound of the pen hitting the marble table was followed by a crack. Isabella knew the pen was broken on contact.

“Hey!” Alice reprimanded the man.

“You people have no respect for the importance of identity. It is more than just who you are!”

Isabella glanced over at the human in the corner. His eyes were trained to the floor. She wondered if this outburst was an everyday occurrence for the man who dared to be in the regular company of a vampire.

“Do you think I draw this magic from the whims of my imagination? This is an art. But even the greatest artist is nothing without the proper tools. I remember a time when people cherished this knowledge.”

The vision hit Isabella with a force as great as Jenks’s voice. It was Jenks, opening up the doors of this very shop for the first time. There was only two locks on the door back then. The outside of the building was at its original pristine condition. As the elements of the neighborhood had worn on the image of the building so had it on the image of Jenks. His tall confident build once sat at desk full of neatly stacked documents awaiting to be created into something. Patron after patron filled his halls acquiring about documents to replace the outdated versions of themselves. Vampires aged only by existence, but never by appearance, stuffed the foyer seeking a new slate for their rich history. Jenks smiled at returning customers. Isabella noticed one pair distinctively. Carlisle and Esme had in fact trusted the skills of Jenks for quite some time as Alice had said. Jenks thought of decades after decades of the pair returning to him in need of simple updates. Carlisle and Esme, just like every other vampire who entered the store, knew who they were; and who they always had been.

But as Jenks memories passed in fast forward the patrons of his shop knowing less and less of who they were or where to start. The ill-informed frustrated Jenks, turning his prized skill into a guessing game; a quest for identities. He had begun to break down in his own appearance and his maintenance of his shop. But the hope for change was still there and he vowed to never go anywhere, in hopes that the day will shift back to the time when identities were respected and cherished. 

Isabella eased out of the vision smother than she had been thrown in. She awoke to Jenks eyeing her suspiciously, and Alice holding onto her arms. Isabella saw the knowing grin of Alice.

“Everyone isn’t so gracious to be eased into a brave new world, Jenks. You would be wise to remember those words and correct your tone.” Alice’s words dripped with a hidden threat. 

Reluctantly, Jenks replied, “Of course.”

“How much?” Isabella asked, bringing the meeting back to the focus in which it was requested.

“Ten thousands,” Jenks said as a matter of fact.

“What?”

“It’s the cost of losing yourself. Your humanity changed not your identity!”

“Its fine.” Alice exchanged glances between Isabella and Jenks. “I will pay for it.”

“No you won’t! I have my own money, Alice!” Isabella shrieked unintentionally at Alice. Instantly she felt horrible for taking the tone.

Isabella watched as Alice corrected her position, taken aback by the outburst. Isabella wanted to reach over the marble table and wipe the smirk from Jenks’s face, but the last thing she wanted was to create another long term strained relationship. She checked her tone and corrected her posture remembering why all of this was important: to be with Alice meant to be a part of society. To be a part of society meant to be a somebody and Isabella was lacking in that.

“I will contact you when the documents are ready.”

“You do that and put a rush on the Drives License. We need it immediately,” Alice said.

“As you desire,” Jenks said bowing. His actions and words were condescending so much so that Isabella hissed. 

With a final look at the human still quietly hiding in plain sight away in the corner, Isabella was ushered from the small inner room back to the front desk, into the foyer and out of the door. The sound of locks turning back into place was heard before they could get back into the not so discreet vehicle. 

Isabella had to be honest: she half expected the vehicle to be gone when they returned. A quick assessment of the area proved that the surroundings hadn’t changed: two men in the ally and three in the park. Isabella wondered if they for some odd reason worked for Jenks as well. He was not in need of security, of that Isabella was certain.

The day dragged on and Isabella had never known exhaustion this way before. But the day was not without its success. By the time the yellow car pulled back into its spot in the Cullen garage, Isabella had a new cell phone, a few new pieces of clothes, better suitcase, the promise of ID within a few days and an entire identity in the coming weeks. Isabella was emotionally downcast. The last things she wanted were to face Alice’s family again. 

It was beginning to become one of those things she couldn’t avoid but tried her best to do. Once she had her ID she could being looking for a temporary place while she and Alice and the rest of the Cullen worked out their place in each other’s life. Isabella didn’t know what all of that would be. She only knew she didn’t want to figure it out right then after the day they had.

“Do you mind if we go to the forest?” Isabella asked as Alice walked to her side of the car.

“Sure,” Alice said, taking Isabella by the hand and leaving all of the newness of Isabella’s life behind.

Alice hadn’t asked Isabella about her outburst in Jenks’s office. She didn’t know how to breech the subject; or what the subject was. There was still so much she didn’t know about Isabella and money was one of them. She wanted to help Isabella but didn’t know how much help she needed or wanted, for that matter. Quietly, they found themselves amongst the trees. Alice hadn’t realized that she was allowing Isabella to lead them.

“Climb on,” Isabella said, turning her back to Alice.

With a giggle as soft as a bell, Alice said, “Are you serious?”

“Of course I am... please?” Isabella added.

Alice climbed onto the back of the love of her life. As if she carried nothing at all, Isabella began climbing the tree. Limb by limb she moved about the branches as if they were her own personal ladder. Where there was no limb to grasp, Isabella’s fingers dug into the bark of the tree, giving her plenty of hold to climb. 

Alice buried her face in the long tress of Isabella’s hair. She took deep breaths, drawing in the scent of talc and fresh powders and satin. Alice imagined that Isabella smelled of a ballerina: gentle and soft. 

Isabella climbed onto a narrow branch. As if to pull a small sack from her back she assisted Alice to wrap around her body and straddle the narrow branch of the tree. Sliding back onto the body of the tree, Isabella pulled Alice with her holding the petite woman in her arm. 

“Look right across . . . there,” Isabella indicated pointing out in front of her.

The day had passed away as the two ran around the city of New York creating Isabella. Their superior eyes aided them in seeing in the darkening surroundings and through the mass of tree limbs and leaves. Alice could see straight into her dark and empty bedroom.

“Oh! So this is where you called home?” Alice asked.

“No it was never home, just a place to be,” Isabella answered. She nestled into Alice's neck. It created a crest for Isabella to rest her cheek, her lips tickling the inside of Alice’s neck, her nose grazing Alice’s jawline.

“I’m sorry for getting loud with you in Jenks’s office,” Isabella whispered.

The words penetrated deep into Alice soul immediately soothing her.

“You know I am here to help you, right? Anything I have you have as well.”

“I have plenty, Alice. I can pay for all my own things. I just . . . I just don’t know if I can give you everything you are use too.” Isabella had known what it meant to feel lowly but this was a feeling of inadequate she had never known.

“Hey. I’m not asking you to buy me another Porsche. Those are just things, Just toys. They don’t mean anything to me.”

Isabella looked at Alice skeptically. 

“Okay, so maybe they mean a little bit to me, but I am not asking you to buy them for me. I can buy them myself.”

“That’s just the thing. You can do plenty without me. Why do you need me here?” Isabella wished she could have ran at that moment but she promised. She promised she would stop running. 

“I need you to love me just the way I am, just the way you are. Your love is worth more to me than all the cars and toys in the world. I could sell them all and still not get what your love was worth. Okay?”

Isabella saw sincerity in Alice’s eyes. With a nod of her head she chose to believe Alice; putting this on just another list of things she would have to deal with and get over. 

xXx

Alice held Isabella’s hand as she pulled her through the double glass doors of the back of the house. When they walked into the home it seemed like all eyes were on them yet again. Edward sat at the piano, with Jasper lounging closely. Emmett sat on the floor flicking at the controls of a video game as Rosalie lay across the couch, a book in her hands. Alice didn’t bother to stop or even acknowledge them. Pulling Isabella behind her, she climbed the stairs to her room. Isabella hid behind her hair, only feeling more of the guilt that seemed to be picking up along the way of her new life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you in advance for the reviews and kudos and reads. I look forward to responding to you all

**Author's Note:**

> Please Review!  
> Thank you for taking the time to read my tale. I hope you come back for the updates.


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